Tell Me a Secret
by burning-atmosphere
Summary: Secrets don't make friends do they? Watch Quil and Claire start their relationship with all the drama that goes with it. Bad summary, good story. I deleted the old story completely, rewriting. Whole new story.
1. The Way They Were

**I'm bacccck(: with a vengeance too. My story was crap and I know it, towards the end it got better. So I'm rewriting, same concept. Secrets, lies, love, hate and all the drama you can believe. Not so much Gossip Girl this time. I hope you all are ready to forgive me for never posting the wedding chapter, but I just didn't feel like I could write it with so many errors in the beginning of the story. I'm leaving the chapters I'm happy with still up. But redoing almost everything from the 1st Chapter - Imprinting Rebecca. I might still play with the other chapters too. So please re read and review! :D**

**Song Choice: The Way We Talk - The Maine or the always original Think Twice - Eve 6**

* * *

I felt a sudden weight on my bed and heard the frame creek. Then I felt a poke, then a nudge, then a full on push. When I swatted the hand away I heard him chuckle with his deep voice. I wanted to slap him.

"No, I'm tired. ," I said sharply. This was my time, Claire Young time. The time when I wasn't being harassed by my sister Callie to go see some boy or by my mom constantly asking me questions about, well, everything or being teased by Embry and the rest of my uncle Sam's friends or when I wasn't with the annoying person pushing me, I slept.

"Please Claire," Quil begged nudging me again harder this time, "If you get up and go to the beach with me we can stop by Emily's."

I woke up a little more at the thought of going to Emily's. My mom's sister was gorgeous inside and out even with her horrific scars on her face and arm. She was one of the most loving and supportive people I'd ever met. She'd been there for my mom through everything, my parents marriage, my sister and my birth, and then my parents divorce.

"Alright. Whatever I'll go." I said jumping out of bed. Staring at my bed head and my astray shirt and boxers. On an honest day I could admit to myself that I was pretty attractive. I mean I'm not complaining, but you know? Everybody wishes they could fix something about themselves. I was tiny for my age, only being 5'2" while my sister's model body was 5'11". I had small feet and a small more oval face. I was tanned from the days at the beach with Quil and volleyball games with the boys. I had green eyes which I liked, they were pretty nice, but you know everybody goes for the blue eyes beauties. I was skinny, almost too skinny for my liking. I tried to put on weight, but it never happened I could eat a whale and I wouldn't gain anything. And as for my chest, well you know every girl wishes they could be a bigger. I didn't. My chest was the only place I wasn't tiny, being a 34C at 17 made you just look like a slut. Which was just great, you know?

"Gotcha, get dressed and I'll go grab some breakfast," Quil said darting out the door. That boy was always hungry, no matter what.

Quil Ateara had known me since, God, who knows when. He was the person who babysat me since I moved back to La Push after my dad cheated on my mom and she changed back all our last names making sure we had nothing to do with him. When I was nine, he was the best big brother always giving my piggyback rides and taking me to the beach. Now I'm 17, he's my best friend. I can tell him anything and everything, well almost anything. Quil never liked the boys I hang around. I mean I know they're not exactly a model crew, but they're not that bad.

My hair was dark brown and usually wavy, but hair can do whatever it wants for instant this morning it decided to curl up and look disgusting while Quil sat on my bed. Awesome. I didn't have any interest in Quil, I mean he's my best friend... People aren't supposed to do that, its to cliché to fall in love with your best friend. Either way no one really ever wants to look like crap when someone of the opposite sex is on your bed, think about it. There isn't any instant well maybe if it's your brother or sister, but that doesn't really count!

I brushed out my hair and threw it back into a ponytail keeping my bangs down which always made my face look a little better. I threw on my blue swimming suit, grabbed some white shorts and my green tank top, which were my usual beach protocol. I never burned which was nice, but living in La Push, Washington even in summer it didn't get too warm. It just got humid and the high's were maybe low 80s. So the beach was always like 10 degrees cooler, but it was always a nice time. I threw a hoodie, a towel, my iPod, my phone, some money, chapstick, and all those other things I always thought I would never need. I was good at over packing for just about everything. I brushed my teeth and got some shoes and I was set to go!

Quil was biting down on two waffles at once, when I walked out, then poured some syrup in his mouth.

"Pig." I said bumping him with my hip, which caused the syrup to miss his mouth and get on his cheek and chin. He glared at me wiping his face with a dish rag. I leaned back on the counter staring at Quil, I'm not going to say Quil is ugly, he's certainly not ugly. He was gorgeous as a matter of fact. He was tall, of course, almost 6'3". He was actually one of the shorter guys in my Uncles friends list. His buzzed hair had grown out into black curly locks that he kept pretty short claiming he didn't like being hairy. He also owned the most deep, chocolate brown eyes I'd ever seen. Not too deep set, but not bulging out of his head they were in good proportion. He had a broad back and smooth russet colored skin. His white T shirt and black board shorts made his skin seem so tan, so gorgeous. But like I said, I don't have any interest in him. None.

"Lazy." Quil retorted giving me a look. A look I'd noticed more and more recently. After I would get ready in the morning to go to the beach or when he'd take me somewhere and I got dressed up there was always this look. The look, I knew they're were secrets. Things that they wouldn't tell me. I wasn't dumb, they were constantly running off places always wanting to keep the girls safe. Usually coming back hooting and happy. Always freakishly warm They weren't normal and it was obvious.

"Butt face."

"Short stuff, kiddo, tiny thing, squirt, half pint, small fry, I can keep em' coming Claire Bear." Quil said with a playful smirk.

"For that you get the honor of buying me lunch at Subway." I said with a smile, knowing he would have paid anyway. He was always a gentleman like that.

"Great I'm starved anyway. That name calling can make a person hungry." He smiled his pearly whites leading me out to The Beast a.k.a. his truck. It was old, really old to the point where it should someday spontaneously combust, but it hasn't. Jake keeps it in good condition constantly giving it little fixes and small upgrades all the time. He opened the door for me and closed it after I climbed in. He started up the radio and drove.

We didn't really talk in the car, unless we were going on a long drive, but usually a comfortable silence fell over us. We had so much to talk about there was no point for short drives. He pulled into the Subway and we climbed out.

I got a 6 inch bacon and ham sandwich while Quil got 2 foot long meatball marinara. I laughed a little when the clerk asked him if he was serious. They didn't know Quil if they that thought was a lot of food, they hadn't seen dinner at Aunt Emily's. We settled into our table and started to eat.

"So anything new?" Quil asked conversationally. What could be new? He was over last night until 12 and then woke me up this morning at 11, but he asked everyday. If it was by phone call, text, or in real life if he'd seen me the day before or not. It didn't matter, it was routine. It was just the way we were.

"Nothing new here, dreading the thought of running into Callie at the beach. She'll try to get me to tan topless with her again or even worse go shopping." I said giggling. Quil knew my jealously and sometimes dislike for my sister. She was gorgeous, no matter what, and always got the boys attention with the confidence I didn't possess. She was also, sort of, well, a bitch. She had just ended her life as the typical high school cheerleader. Soon she'd be off to college. Callie was that stereotypical girl who got what she wanted when she wanted it, the queen bee. She tried to get me to become her clone. Encouraging me to be a cheerleader, a dancer, a prom queen once she left, or anything that was the epitome of high school popularity and shallowness. Don't get me wrong I would love to be like her with no cares in the world, but I was smarter than that. I was French Club president, played volleyball, first violin, and was student council president something outside the realm of Callie's interests.

"I think she went shopping, actually. To mix things up you know?" Quil laughed. We talked and talked a long for a long time while Quil devoured his sandwiches.

Then I heard the snickers coming from behind Quil, two boys I knew from school. Two players who just wanted to get in girl's pants. Being Callie's sister meant laying me meant that they would have sacked both the Young sisters. I knew that they had both fooled around with my sister and to them I was just as easy and another conquest. I tried to ignore their stupid chatter, but I knew that Quil would soon hear it.

"Dude, I mean, seriously. She's like freaking sex on legs. She almost hotter than her sister. Plus her sister's going off to college so she's gunna have to step up right?" The boy said eye balling me, practically raping me with his eyes. It was disgusting and I quickly looked down. It wasn't like I wasn't used to the comments. I got them constantly, from the dirty kids or the jocks who thought that I would live up to Callie's rep. But I didn't care about any of there comments, they didn't come from anyone I cared about.

"Ha, that's unlikely I mean, Callie. She's a goddess, her legs go on for miles and damn, that ass. Nothin' could compare to it. I'm gunna miss it walking down the halls."

"But look at her, she's got some good personalities, you know?" He paused laughing holding his hands in front of his chest. See what I mean? "I'm sure her ass is just fine after all those volleyball games. You know she's the one we always see down there, in the little green bikini?" On top of that those creeps were stalking me.

Then I knew Quil had heard and realized they were talking about me. He stood up brushing himself off. He walked to their table slightly trembling. Then slammed his hand on their table getting they're heads to snap up.

"Let me make this clear, if you ever and I mean ever, speak of Claire like that again or Callie. I will rip off your heads and maybe that would give you a better personality. So you assholes should probably leave now before I get tempted to just take off your heads now." Quil said quietly which almost seemed more threatening. The guys took a look at Quil's size and bolted, but then the manager walked out. He was shaking now even worse.

Secret 1: Why does he always shake when he's mad?

"Sir, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave." he said scared, almost frightened to talk to Quil. I wasn't surprised everybody was when he was like that, but Quil wasn't really that scary. He was a big teddy bear underneath all that.

"It's okay, sorry for the disruption. Come on Claire." Quil said still shaking slightly. He led me to the car. When we were seated he let out a big sigh and closed his eyes, trying to concentrate on something I supposed. I'd seen him like this lots of times, he'd just snap and start to shake. It took him a while to calm down, but soon enough he'd be just back to normal.

"Thanks for sticking up for me, Quil," I said gently touching his hand. He relaxed instantly and took my hand in his big one. He looked at with his big brown eyes almost melting me in my seat. I smiled at him, trying to emphasize my gratitude.

"No problem, you know I'd do anything for you." He said squeezing my hand and starting back up the car. He zoomed off to the beach, still holding my hand, lacing his fingers with mine.

* * *

**Better? I hope so. It's 3:15 AM and I have church today and I'm leaving for a trip so I hope you enjoyed. Leave thoughts and ideas, please thank you so much(:**

**I love you guys and I really hope you don't hate me tooo much, and if you do at least enjoy the story.**

**much love,**

**Rachel(:**


	2. Comfortable

**I'm so sorry for all the emails you probably got from the last chapter, I wrote it them edited, the re-edited, then re-named, **

**and so on. Please review the last one though, I like it much better and I hope you enjoy this one too. I just got back from Mission Trip: Week of Hope 09. Tell me if you went! :D**

**The obvious song choice and is mention is John Mayer: Comfortable, the song has nothing to do with the chapter, but the Beach by All Time Low is good too.

* * *

**

We unloaded our stuff and picked our spot under the warm summer sun, which was warm as long as you didn't move. But Quil always radiated heat so I couldn't really be cold near him. The beach was never too crowded, mostly kids and older people, the occasional parent with their crying child. It was a quite beach and I loved that.

There was a crackling coming from Quil's old battery radio because he insisted he didn't need or want an iPod, but the radio did have a cool old time touch. Like when going to the beach was a big family ordeal and was something special, not just an everyday thing. It was nice, sort of like a old couple coming to the beach together listening to soft music and just enjoying each others company. Except the creepy dark haired boys who stopped to stare at me as a stripped off my shorts and tank top, one tried to give me a cute little wink, but it just made his face looked deformed. I couldn't help, but smile a little when Quil stripped off his shirt. My best friend was ripped and could take just about anyone who would mess with me.

Secret 2: Why is he always so warm and strong on top of that?

"You need a workout," Quil said jabbing at my flat stomach. I sucked in my stomach for a second and then released, no big difference. I knew he was kidding, but any comment taken from Quil was usually funny but later seriously considered when I was alone.

"Do not!" I said feigning hurt. "I'm perfectly fit, weren't you just commentating yesterday that I should get fatter because too many boys were staring at me?"

"I just said you should eat McDonald's from now on," Quil scoffed and smiled, he put John Mayer on. One of my favorites, Comfortable. A song about a relationship that's over, and while the guy tries to move on and is with the perfect girl. he's still in love with the mess and comfortably with the old girl. Something that Quil had learned on the guitar for me. Not only being smart and funny he's also musical. Singing and playing equal amazing.

I laughed at the boys face as he walked past again and winked and that got Quil's attention.

"That's why I said you should start eating McDonald's," he grimacing at the young boy. He was in my grade, but I'd always liked the older boys. I hadn't had a lot of relationships, but the ones I had had lasted. Only one major one, but it meant a lot to at the time. I hadn't really dated anyone else.

"I'll get right on that," I said nodding acting serious, but then questions came to my mind why he really cared. "What do you care? You jealous? Think someone will be taking up all my time?"

"No," he said quickly, but I knew he hadn't liked Blake for that exact reason. Blake was my first serious boyfriend which consumed so much of my time when I was 16. He was sweet to me even when I broke up with him. I was just too tied up and I was sick of feeling like I needed him because I didn't. I liked my independence. He was so needy, constantly not wanting me to see Quil and the boys, and he could never give me a minute to myself.

Quil's arm brushing my snapped me out of thought. His arm grazed mine and he propped up on his elbow so he was on his side looking at me. I could feel his body heat radiating off of him. I dropped my head back and smiled into the sun, it was nice out here. Comfortable, not to warm, not to cold. No disturbances just a nice day.

"Quil! Claire! Oh My Gosh! What are you doing here?" Callie, my sister, asked like she was shocked to find us down at the beach where we came almost every day and even when I told last night that we were probably going to go. She was, well, Callie. Her model body matched her perfect features. She had Carmel colored hair, gorgeous blue eyes bright, bold like the sea with her high cheekbones and upturned nose she could have been a goddess if not for her personality.

"Hi Cal," Quil said nicely smiling a little, probably scooping out Callie in her yellow bikini like most guys. Which always had bugged me. I wasn't ugly, why didn't Quil ever look at me like that? It was the look he gave Callie, it was that signature smirk. It was sexy and something I'd never seen him do when he was looking at me other then when I said something stupid or made a point.

"Hey sweetie," she said sitting down right in his lap wiggling her butt a little to get comfortable. Quil chuckled and looked at me and gently pushed her down onto the towel. She only pouted a moment and then smiled at me.

"Oh, Clairy, you look so good in that swimsuit. Aren't you glad I picked it out?"

"Um yeah, thanks Cal," I said using our kiddy nicknames for fun. When I was younger I couldn't say Callie it always came out as Cow-ee, we had been using those nicknames, but Callie hate being call Cow these days, so I had to switch under her demands. I hated Quil knowing I let Callie get anything for me. He thought she was too girly, too preppy. He knew I wasn't a tomboy, I wasn't afraid to play with the boys, but I liked looking nice too. Callie hated getting dirty or even thinking about getting dirty. "So, um, who are you with?"

"Oh, some amazing boys twin, you know, I can share. The Lovett boy's are amazing you know, um, what's his name, Jack and then Daniel!" Callie said trying to be a good sister and hook me up, but her tastes were football players or rugged bad boys, who would drive my mom crazy. I liked the good guy, the sweet one, the one who could make me happy. I wanted to feel comfortable. I looked at the boys they were cute, but not what I had in mind. Too clean cut and the other too rough.

"Oh no thanks, I'm fine right now," I said gesturing towards Quil, "Unless, of course, one of them wants a date with Quil."

"Quil, you're gay?" Callie asked shocked her mouth formed an O and her eyes popped out. She was stupid. She couldn't tell my sarcasm at all, sometimes I doubt us being from the same parents. It's sad.

"No Callie, I'm not. Claire wishes, so I'd leave her alone and let her go hook up with boys like them." Quil said laughing, but seeming a bit serious. He talked like there were boys I wanted to hook up with.

"Oh, gotcha! Okay well, I better go! Bye, see you at home!" Callie rushed and ran back to the boys, one of which was staring at Quil and me. Creep.

"Do you like Callie?" I asked quietly. I sometimes wondered if he didn't hook up with her because she was my sister and it would be too weird or if I would be jealous or something. I would hate it if it was true, but if he treated my sister right and was happy I could of dealt with it. "You know as more than a friend?"

"Do you want me not around so you can go out with guys?" Quil asked seriously staring me down with his overly intense gaze, that always made me want to fidget. He didn't continued to look at me with those big eyes. He was waiting for my answer, but I wasn't going to give up. He'd spill to me first.

"Tell me first," I said as Quil shook his head. "Please, Quil?"

"No, I don't. Callie's sweet, but too girly for me. I need someone who can handle me." Quil said standing and brushing off his shorts. He looked out into the ocean and I smiled, that was good news. "But answer me do you?"

I shook my head and walked closer to the water. Then Quil picked me up like a baby curled to his chest and took off running into the water. It was a little chilly, but Quil's body kept it toastier than usual. He smiled at me while I shrieked.

He held me above the water, "Tell me or I'll drop you!"

He proceeded to drop me into the water before I could answer. I scream and laughed at the same time. Quil ducked his head up and swam around circling me still waiting for my answer. I bobbed in the water only staring at him. He smirked for a moment and then raised his eyebrows, questioning.

"No, I always want you around Quil. I'd tell you if I wanted to hook up with boys" I replied honestly. I wouldn't ever not want him around. He was like my other half, constantly looking after me. Making me feel…comfortable.

* * *

**Hate it? Love it? Like it? Tell me, Review Pleasee! **

**Get typing!**

**love, Rachel(:**


	3. New Perspective

**Heey boys and girl, mostly girls. I just got home from Panama City! :D It was awesome and I got insannnnely tan like so tan people thought I was Brazilian(: Sadly I was hoping for more reviews seeing as my number of hits was high...but I'm thankful for the ones I did get. Thanks you all!** **School starts soon and I'll still be posting so please please review. I know for some of you it's the same story, but it's different trust me. It's slowly regaining momentum. **

**Speaking of which is the song of the day! Momentum by The Hush Sound or New Perspective by Panic! At The Disco! - they re-added the exclamation.**

**

* * *

**After splashing around for a while and even convincing Quil to play a game of Marco Polo and volleyball, he had to hold up his end of the deal and take me to my Aunt Emily's.

My mother, after divorcing my dad, became a workaholic. She was never there when I was growing up, so Quil was my parent and Callie's too. My mom, Marley, was an architect and was constantly traveling to do huge projects and business. My dad, William, had started over, getting married to Bridget and having three kids, two twins Beth and Brooke and one boy Baiden. Too many B's for me, they were like the perfect family one big smiley blond picture. He only waited two years after my mom had me before having the twins. He was a business man, smart, cunning, rich, all the things Abby was looking for. He was big on traveling too and Abby was a stay at home mom, something my could of never done. My mom was go, go, go, the exact opposite of Abby in almost every way. So Emily was my mother for all intents and purposes I could go talk to her about anything which is why I loved going over there.

"I hope I got tan," I sighed pinching arm, which was bronze and getting darker. I wasn't as superficial as Callie, needing name brands and always taking two hours to get ready, but I cared about how I looked. I liked dressing up and looking good especially when I was around such good looking guys.

"I think I got sun burned," Quil teased and then smirked. He never ever, ever got sunburned, I hated him for it. He was tan during the winter too when I was only my usually light color. I got more of the Native American looks than my sister did, who took more after my dad. I was always sort of tanned and I had the dark hair. I enjoyed it, but sometimes at town things my sister could always stand out. There were few blond hair people and with Callie's Carmel hair and everyone else being black or dark brown it wasn't hard to find her, or the boys that followed her.

"Yeah, that's like Embry only eating one helping," I said laughing and Quil laughed too. We were dusting the sand off from our bodies and drying off while the sun started to set. It was getting colder and my hoodie was going to be coming in handy. "Are Embry and the boys going to be there?"

"What do you think?" Quil asked. He gathered our things and we walked to the truck. He shut my door and put the things in the back and climbing in. "They're always there."

"True," I nodded turning up the radio to one of those annoying love sick songs. I realized why I suddenly hated the tune, it was Blake and my song. It had been cute back then, but now listening to it was cheesy and dumb. I couldn't help, but make a face as Quil looked at me.

"Ready to see the boys…and Leah?" Quil asked sighing pulling into Sam and Emily's small, but cute house. It wasn't very far from town, but gave a nice secluded feeling and was close to the cliffs. It was yellow with white shutters and was a small two story. It barely had enough room for all of my Uncles friends to stay there. Of course, they were pretty huge so it wasn't surprising.

"Yeah, let's go," I said nodding as Quil opened my door. I loved them: Embry, Jacob, Paul, Jared, Collin, Brady, Seth & Leah. They were Sam's closest friends and we're always together. Often running off to secret meetings, but when I asked questions I was always shut out, even freaking Callie knew. It was obvious they weren't normal, being constantly warm and overly strong. Maybe the Quileute's had been hitting the tribal bong a little hard when all of my Uncles friends were born, I wouldn't have doubted it.

"Why thank you sir," I said in an English accent adding more drama with a curtsy, but almost falling on my face while trying to do it. Quil quickly caught my elbow and straightened me up.

"You're welcome Miss," He responded bowing. We both snorted and then walked right inside without a care of knocking. It was the fashion. they knew who was there and who would walk through the door.

"Emillly!" I called when I got ran over by a 6'6" boy. I was too close, way to close to Embry's crotch. He picked me up and spun me around for a couple seconds. He was always sweet to me like this when he first saw me, but it only lasted for a while until he remembered that he could push me around and make fun of silly little Claire Bear.

"Claire Bear!" Embry yelled squishing me again. He was handsome, just like the rest. He was taller than Quil and had shorter hair. He was less built, but he was definitely not lanky. He didn't baby me like the others, he always believed that I could do anything and not get hurt. Which did cause my one trip to the hospital when I was 11. He decided to try to let me jump off one of the small cliffs like all the boys did. It was the lowest one, but since he had never jumped from it he wasn't aware of the rocks in the water. When you jumped from the high cliffs you could run and you would always end up further out in the water then the little ones that were closer to the reef. So when I jumped I landed in the water, but still euphoric from the high of jumping the current pushed me right into a huge rock. It sliced my foot and I hit my head. I have tiny stitches a long my hairline to this day. It didn't matter, he was always loyal and he was about the only one who trusted me to take care of myself.

"Put her down Embry," Quil said calmly leaning against the side of the hall, looking unamused. Instantly trying to piss him off he held me tighter and kissed my cheek spinning me around again. I choked in a breath. "Put her down, Embry!"

Embry set me down, chuckling, then ruffled my hair. I flashed him a quick grin, but then stuck my tongue out. He practically bent himself in half and kissed my forehead. Then turned to smirk at Quil.

"Missed you lots Claire," Embry said as Quil sounded as if he growled and slapped the back of Embry's head. He took my hand and started dragging me to the living room. I turned to stick my tongue out at Embry which he returned.

"Aw, come on Quil you know I'm just kidding around. I'd never take Claire Blair." Embry winked and then bust up laughing. I hated being out of the loop.

**Secret 4: What's going on with the winking?**

"You okay?" Quil asked after several more bone crushing hugs from the gang had bombarded me. They were all there, like Quil said. Each one acting as if they hadn't seen me in ages. It had been a while, but not months or years. They were always like this, a new face was always nice since they were all together.

"Yeah I think I can still breathe," I laughed and forced a smile as we settled into the couch. I relaxed into Quil's chest, I was tired. The beach had worn me out a lot and the bear hugs didn't help. I breathed and took in his scent. It was delicious, he smelled like spice and the woods. It was always a calming scent. It meant I was safe, free from harm.

"Claire, Quil you ready to eat?" Emily called from the kitchen. While the others gathered in the dinning room, I closed my eyes and wished I could sleep.

"Be there in a second," Quil replied smiling and then taking my hand a grabbing me toward the table of waiting boys.

Emily had her jet black hair tied into a ponytail and her tan skin shimmered. She was always gorgeous and as always Sam couldn't keep his eyes off her. He constantly was just giving her gentle touches. Unlike some couples in they're homes that sit at the heads of the table from each other they sat right next to each other. I would always notice Sam's hand on her knee or playing with her hair or resting on her arm. It was adorable how he couldn't just leave her alone, he always needed to make sure she was there or something, I wished for that kind of affection from somebody. Too feel loved so much it hurt. Leah was seated on Emily's right side and the rest of the boys and myself squeezed in the rest. I was in between Quil and Jake and was Embry sitting across from me. It was a mad house when Emily brought out the food it was a bunch of "Hey where's the wing?" "Oh no man you didn't just take the last biscuit" "Aw did someone just stab my hand for the potatoes!"

"So Claire, are you getting ready for school to start?" Sam asked in his fatherly sort of way. He had also been a father figure to me, as most of these boys had been. Always looking after me and asking me about my life. My father had never been close with me and he didn't even really like kids, but had reformed for Abby. Perfect little Abby.

"I guess, it's pretty much the same as last year. I'm taking all honors and varsity volleyball. I'm just trying to enjoy summer," I said giggling a little. I remembered all the times Quil would sit in my room with me helping me right papers and getting me coffee. He would fight me just to keep me awake. I had an unorthodox way of getting things done. I couldn't just sit still for so long so I'd write half of the paper, but then want to go to the beach or the mall, but I'd later recommit myself and finish it.

"So any boys?" Leah asked causally cutting her chicken up. When everyone turned to look, or well glare, she just smirked a little bit and then looked at me, waiting for an answer.

**Secret 5: Why had everyone, not just Quil, become twitchy about the boys I like?**

"Uh, I've been asked out, but I'm not really like Callie. I'm just sort of having fun right now, but I do like some boys," I replied trying to keep it low key. I could never imagine telling all of them my crushes especially since at one time or another it had been on one of them. To be honest, I would always have a small crush on Jared, so sweet and nice. He was always kind and smiling at me, but Quil…Quil would be the one I knew I had loved since I'd been 12 and I knew I'd always wonder if we could be something, but those dreams were so unreal so they went unmentioned.

"Oh yeah who?" Leah pushed even more, more glares. She looked at me intently and for a moment I thought she cared, but I knew how cynical Leah was about love. After dealing with Sam and Emily's marriage and now that they were hoping to have a child soon. She could care less, but she enjoyed making the others angry and I knew it.

"Oh nobody you would know,"

"Oh come on tell us," Leah replied, almost pleading with me to play along and tell.

"Leah stop it," Sam said with a powerful voice. Then it was over, the boys went back to stuffing their faces, and it was silent until Leah broke the silence.

"I just want to know about Claire's life and I'm sure everybody wants to know, right Quil?" Leah smiled a wicked grin. Quil tensed as did Jake and Embry. I felt unsure of what was going to happen if I should say something because they were all curious or if that's what they didn't want.

"Shut your mouth, Leah," Jake snapped with total finality. Leah just smiled even more.

"You can't tell me what to do, not anymore Mr. Alpha." Leah mocked. Her more red black hair had recently been cut to her shoulders making her look more edgy, which matched her personality.

Emily quickly cleared her, "Okay, Claire you must be tired. Why not go lay down? Quil you can make sure you get some sleep,"

"Um. Alright, I am getting tired," I stood up, actually yawning. Quil followed and took me to the living room with the couch. I lied down and Quil pulled the blanket up close so I was tucked in tight. He squatted next to the couch as I yawned again.

"Have a good sleep," Quil murmured in my ear turning off the lights.

"I'm just taking a nap, I'm not even that tired, it's just a nap…" I knew I was fading. I was so warm and comfortable, I'd be out soon. I closed my eyes and relaxed.

"Alright," Quil chuckled. I felt him push his weight back and forth on the floor watching me as I drifted.

In my dream before I went to sleep Quil bent down and whispered to me, "I love you, Claire." Then his warm lips pressed against my forehead.

If only dreams came true…

I turned over hearing loud voices coming from the dinning room. I tried to block them out, but they only continued to get louder and louder. I was so drowsy, I decided to just sit and listen.

"She's not ready to know!" I heard Sam's voice roar. Sam was loud, was all I could keep thinking. Sam was really loud. Sam should shut up. "No matter what you say she is not allowed to know!"

"You promised me when she turned 16! She's been 16 for months now," Quil responded, they must be talking about me, about the secret. I turned 16 November 19th of last year, it was July 26th. "She needs to know soon. I can't stand watching boys droll at her. I can't stand anymore of wondering if she wants something from me or some other boy and I especially can't stand Leah trying to get in out of her!"

"Yeah, Sam, loosen up. Claire's smart, she'll understand," Embry confidently, he showed no doubt in me, like I said so trusting, so loyal. That's why I love him.

"I'm not ready for her to know," said Sam. At the moment I wanted to wake up and scream at him, but I knew if I did I'd never find out the secret.

"It's not all about what you're ready for Sam, it's Quil's mate," Seth said tensely, as if scared to speak up.

"You have no choice, Quil, what I say is it," Sam said firmly. I could picture his coal eyes hard and tense. He would be baring his teeth and about to tear off their heads.

"Sam, you're over stepping your boundaries," Jacob also said forcefully banging his hands on the table. "You don't control-"

"On the contrary Jake, you gave up Alpha powers because you got tired, lazy. The powers came back to me. There for I have every reason too," Sam growled.

"Claire's the love of my life. I've waited since she was two years old! She can handle it I need to tell her. I don't know how much longer I can wait. She's starting to be more observant, noticing things that she can't notice. If I could just tell her!" Quil practically cried.

**Secret 6: The love of his life huh? I could definitely use that against him. But SINCE I WAS TWO! I'm the love of his LIFE! DLSKFJILSK!**

"I said no and that's final," Sam said again.

"Sam, I really think you should think about this," Emily pleaded. "Please for me too, not just Quil. Think about Claire, she's tough. She won't freak out, she's level headed. She's smart."

"I have and I say no, you can tell her when I think she's ready," Sam said and I heard the wooden chair scrape across the floor meaning the meeting was over. I heard Quil walk in and mutter something under his breathe.

I rolled over and he brushed my bangs out of my face. I opened my eyes pretending to be in a daze.

"Quil?""Just go back to sleep Claire Bear."

He was staring at me, his eyes were blazing, so intense. It was almost scary. I closed my eyes as he cupped my check with his hand. I pressed my face against it and I heard him chuckle under his breath.

I rolled over again later deciding to stop play with Quil and wake up only to realize that I had fallen back asleep.

"Good morning!" He smiled brightly springing up beside me. He was seated at the computer at the edge of the couch.

"It's morning?" I asked springing awake I hadn't called my mom to tell her I was over here. Not that she cared in general and I was also with Quil, if I was Quil they never cared. It was almost as if they loved him more than they loved me. It was still the principal of the thing I should have called.

"It's 8 and don't worry I called your mom. She said it was fine," Quil said and smiled as I sighed in relief. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. Always protecting me, it sort of made sense now. All those times he was here when my parents weren't it was because he loved me. He had come to terrible dance recitals, chorus concerts, volleyball games, taking me to buy dresses for dances, even going on runs for tampons and such, because he loved me. It was incomprehensible that I hadn't thought of it. Well.. Maybe not, but…

"Oh okay," I said. I looked around the room and saw pillows and a blanket on the floor. "Did you sleep on the floor?"

"Yeah, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You stirred a lot during your sleep, dreaming of someone?" Quil said teasingly, but also a little wordily. I shook my head.

"Bad dreams?

"Yeah, I guess, sort of." My stomach then growled.

"You can tell me after breakfast." Quil said helping me up and then lead me too the kitchen. Only some of the remaining crew was still around. Obvious Sam and Emily then also Embry, Jake, Leah, and Seth. They were all seated around the smaller kitchen table. I settled in as Emily set pancakes, eggs, and bacon on the table. The rest of them dug in.

"It's fine, so what was going on? I heard some arguing," I asked quietly. His face tensed as did the others. They went back to what they were doing, but I knew they were listen.

"You heard what we said?" Quil's face was unreadable, worried, but happy. Happy, but sad. Sad, but relieved. He wouldn't look me in the eye. He just stuffed his face.

"Uh, no, but I heard yelling,"

"Oh it's nothing," Quil said quickly brushing it off. He quickly stuffed his face with pancakes and his happy ease was back.

**Secret 7: Why wouldn't Quil tell me, we were best friends and he loved me right?**

"I'll drive you home," Quil said after we were done. I said my goodbyes and walked out following Quil's steps. Opened and shut my door, even offering to take me somewhere other than home if I wanted. I merely shook my head. It was already raining, and it didn't look like it was going to stop. It sort of matched my mood.

"Quil," I said finally breaking the silence. "You'd tell me everything, right?"

"Of course," Quil answered tense again. He stared out into the rain. Once again not looking at me while a spoke.

"Then what were you talking about when I was asleep?" I pushed. I needed to know, I needed to hear him say it to me. I couldn't believe it if he didn't.

Quil sighed already frustrated. "That's the one thing I can't tell you,"

"Best friends tell everything," I retorted. I scuffed my feet against the carpet, crossing my arms. I stared at him, incredulously that he wouldn't tell me.

"I would tell you, but I can't. I'm not allowed, I just…I can't." Quil was frustrated. He ran his fingers through his hair again and again.

"What you don't think you can trust me?" I snapped back. "I wouldn't tell anyone Quil, you know that. I wouldn't even tell the guys I knew. I can keep a secret."

"Claire," Quil said taking my hand. "You don't know how badly I want to tell you. I want you to know everything. I don't want any secrets between us, but I really can't,"

"You could tell me. You were the one who told me, 'You always have a choice, no one can make your choices for you.'" I said quoting what he had said to me when my parents divorced. He had tried to get me to understand why my parents were doing what they were doing. About how when I grew up I'd understand. I understood and now all I wanted to do was know this.

"I knew you were too smart," Quil sighed hitting his hand against the wheel. "I will tell you, when I can as soon as I can. I promise."

"You can tell me now," I whispered. I could tell him I had heard. I could use everything against him. I could have told him he had loved me ever since I was little and if he loved he'd tell me. "You know you could."

"But I can't Claire," Quil said in a final tone dropping the subject. "I'm sorry, but I just can't right now. I will, I promise you with everything I have and I know that's much, but I'll tell you soon."

My phone rang from an incoming text message from Lena.

Party tonight? I even scored us a ride, I'll come by if you want to go. Unless you're protector doesn't what you to. Call me Love, Lena.

Lena always called Quil my "protector" because he always over protective. It was true, he didn't like Lena much. He thought she was too wild, which was also true. She was confident, pretty, witty, and almost always loyal.

Quil looked at me curiously, "Who's that?"

"A boy," I said as if it was no big deal, I was mad and I didn't care how he felt. I was hurt and he wouldn't trust me with this secret, something that I wanted so desperately to know. I decided I could just shut him out, same as he was doing to me. I could be a bitch and not tell him what he wanted to know. Then he'd understand how I felt.

"Oh yeah, who?" Quil asked trying to see the screen as he drove in the furious rain.

"I can't tell you," I replied, turning the tables on him. He looked angry for a second, but then regained his composure. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. He laid his hand on mine trying to lace his fingers through with my own. I balled my hand into a fist.

"Claire, please, I'm just looking out for you, I want to you know that, " Quil said softly, trying to rationalize, but I didn't want to rationalize. He knew what I was doing because he knew me so well. I hated him for that, that he could always see through me and whatever game I was playing.

"Whatever you say. Bye," I said as Quil pulled into my driveway and ripped my hand out of his and ran into the house. Quil's face was devastated, I could feel his eyes on my back as I ran from him. I could do this, I could not be with Quil. I could leave, maybe I would never need to know the secret. Maybe I could just forget all of it and not go to Emily's anymore. Quil couldn't love me like he said because if he loved me he would have told me. He would of cared that I was upset.

I dialed Lena's number and she immediately picked up.

"Claire, you wanna go right?" Lena yelled because of the blasting music I could hear from the background. I thought of Quil I knew he wouldn't be happy, but that's what I wanted. I didn't want to care that he would be angry or sad. I needed to not care anymore.

"Meet at my house at 6." I said then hung up. I stood in the front hallway of my house alone. I thought about if I really wanted to go or not. Of course I didn't, I wanted to go hang out with Quil, but I couldn't.

"Claire, are you going to the beach tonight?" My mom asked from the kitchen. It was one of the rare times she was home. Since she was so constantly gone she had even rented a house in Seattle. It was surprising to find her there.

"Yeah, I'm going to take a nap, and then Lena's coming over and I'll going get ready. I'll be home tomorrow I'll probably stay at her house."

* * *

**That's all folks! I hope you liked it, I have the next 3 chapters ready to go as soon as I get some more reviews. **

**Seriously though I'd love more feedback on my rewrite. Review, Review, Review.**

**Love, **

**Rachel(:**


	4. The After Life Of The Party

**I'm so thankful for some people who actually review with meaning and you know who you are. I probably PMed you. I've had a crazy last days of summer and I hope you did too. I'm starting school tomorrow so I wanted to get this posted fast. **

**Song of The Day: Becky Starz & The Party Song - Forever The Sickest Kids,  
**

**

* * *

**

"So I finally decided what I'm going to wear!" Lena said emerging from my closet. She wore a maroon knit shirt, a white ruffled shirt over, since the beach was cold , and short dark shorts. She was pretty as always, I wouldn't call Lena gorgeous like Callie, but she was pretty. She had shorter blond hair that she bleached desiring to be different. Her hair was never dark like mine so it didn't look weird or trashy when she dyed her hair. It was to her shoulders and had small caramel highlights. She had hazel eyes that were always accented by heavy eye make up she insisted made her look better. She was taller than me, but not like Callie. She was a skinny 5'7" and she compared to me was flat as a board. "Now what about you?"

Lena eyed me up and down. She walked into the closet and quickly returned with an outfit.

"White cami, because it makes you look tan," She said tossing it at me. It was cute ruffled at the top and bunched at the waist.

"A green sweater, to bring out your eyes." She tossed me my favorite cardigan. It had one cute big button and it was long so long it pasted my skirt. Admittedly the skirt was short, but I didn't care. I was going out to have fun tonight.

We prepped and ate a little dinner. Lena pulled her hair back into such I high ponytail, I didn't know how it didn't give her a headache, while I left my hair down long and wavy.

"So what about Quil?" Lena asked casually. She had always had a small thing for Quil that she would never admit to me unless she was wasted, but she hated his personality. She thought he was too careful of me and not really funny. She thought he was hot, which I couldn't disagree with.

"What about him?" I asked, I had almost forgotten about this morning, but Lena had to bring him back up. I didn't know what to do. That's all I could tell her and I couldn't even tell her about the problem because then I wouldn't be being trust worthy or someone who deserved to know the secret.

"What did he say about the party?" Lena asked redoing her ponytail in the mirror. She was vain and I knew it. She looked to look at herself all the time, constantly checking herself out in a mirror and a window. She was pretty shallow too. She had liked me at first because I was pretty and nice. She stayed because I turned out to be loyal and funny. She'd been through a lot with me, she was my closet girl friend, but as much as she knew about me. She'd never know me like Quil.

"He doesn't know," I mumbled, feeling guilty about the way I had acted earlier.

"Oh, what are we planning? Getting some boys tonight huh?" Lena asked with a smile on her face.

"And you weren't?" I asked laughing throwing a pillow at her head. She laughed and then we moved on. It was always easy with Lena. She always made me bubbly more happy. She never rested always going or doing something. It kept me up when I'd rather sleep.

"It's 8:45!" Lena cried looking at her phone. "We need to get our stuff! They're going to be here any minute!"

"Who's taking us?" I had forgotten to ask. I didn't bother much with details, Lena always had a plan. I sprayed vanilla perfume and stepped through it.

"Mmm," Lena said breathing in the smell, it had been a gift from Quil. Emily had picked it out and I fell in love with its warm sweet smell. "Andy Newton, in his dad's car."

"That kid from Forks? Why is he taking us?" I didn't know Lena talked to many of the kids in Forks. They came down a lot for parties and stuff, but I hadn't really had any friends from there. Quil didn't really like many people from there and claimed it always smelled bad in the forests close to there.

"Oh he's really cool. I met him when I went to the beach last week. He and some of his friends go down all the time. He's super cute and his friends are too. It will be fun, don't ruin this for me please?" Lena was also one to constantly think she needed a boyfriend. Someone to love her and to compliment her. When it wasn't her boyfriend for the week it had to be me, always giving her ego boosts.

"I won't," I snapped. I looked out the window and a red convertible pulled in the driveway. "Wow, he is cute,"

"Yeah I know, but I like his friend," she said pointing to the other boy with dark hair and a pretty smile. They were both looking in the mirror smoothing out they're equally shaggy hair. Then Andy popped up and ran to my door. I double checked myself in the mirror before Lena grabbed my hand and pointed to the bag.

The bag was a tradition, we filled it up with anything we'd need for the night. It was a cute sleek black bag that went with everything. We filled it with make up, brushes, extra clothes, Advil, water, crackers, everything for a hangover cure, left over money which built up to a lot, cell phone chargers, camera batteries, and anything else we'd need for our adventures. I quickly grabbed it and Lena gave herself another check in the mirror. Again.

"Let's go!," Lena then let out a whoop. By the time we came to the door Andy had settled back in the convertible. As we walked forward I just about knew what they were thinking. Checking how we looked, how we walked, imagining what the chances were we'd hook up. Typical male.

"Hey, I'm Claire," I smiled extending my hand forward to Andy's. He shook it firmly and I let my hand linger in his for a couple seconds. He smiled and winked at me. He was cute, he had light blond hair and pretty blue eyes. He was pretty tall, but nowhere near the boys. He was skinny, not built, but he had a cute baby face look and a sweet smile.

"Andy Newton and this is Josh Crowley." Andy said standing by the car. "Crowley get in the back."

He opened my door and I sat shotgun with him as we sped off to the beach. When we arrived 15 minutes later and the beach was filled with kids from school at the waters edge. Some even swimming, crazies. The bonfire was already raging and several of the kids were trashed.

He grabbed me a drink and one for himself also. Lena soon ran from Josh and was busy talking to the other boys that had come for the night.

"So how am I supposed to trust you? This could be filled with chloroform, but it does smell good." I teased as he handed me the drink. He sat back down pressing his side against mine. I took a drink tasting the alcohol burn my tongue. I wasn't a huge partier, but from today's events I was ready to escape.

"It's a Vodka Tonic. I mixed it myself and if I say so myself I am proud. So do you have a boyfriend?" Andy asked looking at me expectantly. I had to remind myself that Quil and I were nothing. I wasn't anything to anyone.

"No, I'm not a really big dater. I just haven't found Mr. Right. What about you?" I asked. There was no way he had a girlfriend or else he was just a total player.

"Nope, I'm completely single," Andy said emphasizing completely. He the rest of his drink and took my hand lacing his cold fingers through mine. We continued talking and talking, but our drinks were then gone. "I'll go get us a refill,"

"I'll go too," I stood still holding his hand. He quickly refilled our drinks and we talked with some of the others from our school. The music was getting pretty loud and everyone was thinking of bailing before the police showed up.

"Wanna get away from the noise and take a walk?" Andy asked squeezing my hand. I was feeling more optimistic after my second drink I nodded and followed him down further away from the party. We were close to the waters edge and I thought about how good the water would feel and I dipped my toes in. Then Andy pushed me in all the way as a wave was coming, but I quickly grabbed his wrist pulling him in too. We laughed freezing under the moonlight that reflected off the water.

"Jerk," He commented as we returned to the beach soaking wet. My hair wasn't to soak which was good or else I'd worry about getting sick from the cold. The wind was picking up and it was almost unbearable.

"But I'm a cute jerk," I said with a smile as he put his hands on my waist pushing me back against one of the cliffs.

"More than cute. You're a really, really hot jerk." Andy said kissing the corner of my lips first as if seeing if it was okay. When I pulled his face to my lips he got the hint. I kissed back and let his tongue enter my mouth and then roll atop mine. It was the most amazing kiss I'd ever had. I had made him want me. I had made him want this, me. I wanted to feel wanted. I felt powerful and gorgeous as he ran his hands up my legs. He was eating me alive, all because of what I was capable of. I tangles my fingers in his hair and let him lift my legs around his waist. Then I thought of Quil, what would he kiss like? Would he devour my mouth like Andy or kiss me sweetly like I'd always imagined. I kept thinking about him as Andy slipped his hand under my shirt. I felt like I could hear Quil as if he was there. He kept saying my name, yelling my name actually. Then I realized, he was yelling my name.

"Claire Elise Young!" Quil was sprinting down the beach toward Andy and me. I could see others fleeing the beach. I wondered if the cops had come.

I tried to get Andy to stop, I even bit on his lip, but that only seemed to make him happier. He ran his fingers into my hair pulling me toward him. I couldn't pull away because I was against the cliff wall. I pushed him off finally and he took a breath and smiled at me. He almost went back at it before Quil pulled him off. Andy fell to the ground ragged for breath.

"Dude what the hell?!" Andy said standing up dusting himself off. He looked at me confused and almost hurt. He didn't look at Quil as first, but at me.

"Claire what the hell are you doing?!" Quil shouted at me. He was angrier than I'd ever seen him. He was fuming, shaking even. "Who the hell are you?"

"Claire, I thought you said you didn't have a boyfriend," Andy sputtered a little taken back by Quil's anger and size. I didn't even know what to do. I stood against the wall for a couple seconds staring at the situation at hand.

"I don't, he's not my boyfriend. He's a guy I know. He doesn't matter." I spat at Quil. He looked taken back for a second, but then angry again. "Why don't you just leave? I don't need you looking after me and I don't want you here. Actually what are you doing here?"

**Secret 10: What was Quil doing on the beach? Stalking me?**

"You're going home Claire," Quil said straining to keep his composure. He glared at Andy and took my wrist starting to drag me away. I tried to plant my feet, but he just kept pulling.

"Dude who are you?! Claire can do whatever she wants! Screw off!" Andy yelled as Quil kept dragging me. Aw, how sweet. He was sticking up for me. "It's not like she belongs to you!"

The Quil stopped releasing my wrist, he turned to face Andy. Andy then took a step back obviously scared of what was going to happen.

"First don't ever call me dude. Second Claire is going with me whether she wants to our not and third stay away from her from now on," Quil threateningly and then continued pulling me along the shore.

I saw Lena waiting for me by Andy's car as the beach kids scattered from tall guys standing around. Then I realized who they were, the pack, my Uncle's friends. They had broken up the party. They were gathering the left over alcohol and drinks.

"Claire!" She called running to me. Quil looked down at her confused as to why she wasn't running. She put a hand on his chest acting as if they were friends. "I got a free pass because I was with Clair Bear here. You're a life saver really honey, but it looks like your protector found you. So…um I guess call me when you can,"

She wasn't as wasted as I thought, but when she fell walking up to the car I knew that she had just put up a good façade. Soon Josh appeared by the car and Andy ran past me. He looked at Quil, but didn't seem to care as he stuck his phone number in my hand and winked. Quil looked angrily at me still and also a little hurt.

"Couldn't even let her out for one night of fun?" Lena yelled at Quil as they sped off. I hoped they'd be okay. Andy hadn't been too wasted, I didn't think at least.

"Was that him? The boy?" Quil demanded as he pulled me off to the car. Jacob and Embry followed as Quil stuffed me in and slammed the door.

"We got the last of them. Just some underage drinking, but we gave a call to the police with a list of names. Lucky for you Claire Bear that it was us who found you or you'd be in some serious trouble," Embry laughed. Not that they had any room to talk I knew what they had done when they were my age.

"She's still in trouble." Quil told them gripping the steering wheel tightly. "Don't think that you're getting out of this that easy."

The world was spinning and I couldn't think of what to do. So I leaned out of the car and threw up on the ground. Quil handed me water as I sat back down which I took and swallowed greedily. He then sped off keeping his eyes on the road.

"Answer me Claire, was that the boy?" Quil demanded.

**Secret 11: Is there an instant hangover cure? Does that even exist? It really should.  
**

"I think I'm still a little buzzed," I laughed, but then saw Quil's face reminding me that he was still mad. I wanted to be happy and tell him to stop worrying. He was supposed to love me not yell at me. I put my hand out the open window making my hand do waves in the wind. It felt so cool and nice. I could feel Quil's heat which was so nice. "Yeah, that's Andy. Lena introduced me to him,"

"I don't want you hanging out with Lena anymore. She's no good for you. You see what she's doing to you! Do you really wanna be a slut like her?" Quil asked.

"I'm not a slut! I know what I'm going Quil, you're so over protective. I'm just having fun, seizing the day. Carpe Diem!" I cried out the window giggling as the people who were still out of the streets stared at me.

"I'm being serious Claire. Listen to me, dammit!" Quil said swerving a little on the road. He breathed in and rolled up my window. "What happened back there?"

"Andy brought me some really good drink and I put them in my mouth and swallowed," I told him. I motioned by taking the drink and then tilting back my head and swallowing. I laughed thinking about the image in my head.

"No! What happened with the boy?!" Quil asked snapping part of the wheel off. He glared at me as if I had made him mad. How odd.

"Oh he kissed me."

"I know that! Damn it Claire, was there anything else?!" Quil said not looking at the road as he made a swift turn.

I just laughed and then I hiccupped. Quil's face twisted into anger, he looked like he was going to explode. That just made me laugh harder. I commented on this as he popped off another piece of steering wheel.

"Don't break the thing," I laughed again letting my head fall against the seat. I wished I could kiss him. I wanted to I wanted him to tell me he loved me.

"Claire this isn't funny," Quil seemed to be thinking.

"Don't worry I didn't lose it or anything. I'm not that stupid!" I said smiling for a second he looked calm. "We just made out and he put his hands up my shirt."

Whoops….Quil popped the steering wheel.

"Claire I can't believe you were being so stupid! I thought you were smarter than that!" Quil mumbled and shook his head mad and sad. "I was going to break all the rules and tell you, I've already broke most of them by just being with you. Sam's right you aren't responsible enough for this yet."

**Secret 12: What rules? By being with me he was doing something wrong?**

"Quil will you stop keeping secrets from me?" I asked I just couldn't keep my mouth tonight!

"I'm not keeping anything from you." Quil replied.

"You are a liar. You won't tell me that secret whatever it is! I freaking heard you guys while you were yelling last night!" I practically cried. "I know that you're keeping it from me because Sam told you too! But Embry's right I won't tell. I won't freak out whatever it is! Just please tell me! I'm so sick of not knowing!"

"You heard that!?" Quil asked surprised and a little scared. "You were sound asleep!"

"I'm a good actor?" I asked trying to lighten his mood. He didn't even laugh or smile or anything. He just started incredulously.

"How much did you hear?" He questioned

"Just some stuff" I mumbled.

"What did you hear?"

"Just that…That you love me and I'm supposed to be your mate or something, ya know since I was 2." I laughed a little. I was praying it was true. I would kill for it to be true. I prayed that he would tell me everything.

After a long silence I just prayed he would say something.

Quil sounded like he growled and then in a harsh crude voice said, "That's a lie, you must have been dreaming. I don't love you. You aren't mine and you won't ever be. I told you the secrets not important and to not ask. Just mind your own business Claire."

Then everything stopped being so funny. Reality snapped me back into my senses. I had a headache and we were driving down the road at 80 miles per hour. I was soaking wet and crying. I thought about how I could yell at him for minding his own business, but I knew he'd win the conversation. He always did. I wanted to scream at him and hit him for making me feel this terrible. I wanted to jump out of the car and show him how bad it would be if I died because of him. Then I couldn't not say it.

"Why don't you mind your own freaking business?! You're the one who came and stalked me on the beach!" I yelled at him. That's when his eyes popped open.

"Why in the world would I stalk you! I got called down on business to shut down the party. You should be happy I saved you before you made anymore stupid decisions. Stop being so dumb and think you know everything." Quil snapped back. He glared at me and soon almost all of the steering wheel was gone.

"Whatever," I said back trying to sound nonchalant.

"Do not whatever me Claire You made stupid decisions back there and you know it!" Quil yelled at me, so frustrated, and for a second I was afraid he'd hit me. He took my arm shaking me slightly. "Don't you get it?! I'm keeping you safe you're being an idiot and almost getting yourself raped back there! GOD!"

"Stop it," I whispered crying. "Stop it, you're scaring me."

Then he looked taken back. Surprised and then upset again. He sped down the road even faster.

Quil's words stung, unbelievably so. He didn't love me, not in the slightest? And he thought I had made it up, dreamed about it. Of course I had dreamed of it, but I was sure of what I had heard. I didn't know what to think anymore. I couldn't believe he'd ever say that to me. I couldn't start bawling because then I knew he'd apologize and then I'd fall right into him. I just had to stick with my earlier plan. I just would have to live without Quil. Quil the boy who I'd known forever and the boy I'd loved forever. I had to forget him, forget everything thing, but then I realized that would be forgetting my whole life. Quil was there everyday, almost every hour. I couldn't just erase that…I started to let the tears fall when I realized that losing him would be losing my world, my life, my safe haven, my best friend, my everything.

I started out the window and soon I was home. I climbed out. I wouldn't look at Quil. I walked slowly to the door and when I opened the door I heard him roar off. I walked into the bathroom and took a long shower. I climbed into bed and prayed that I could live without him and then I cried and cried and cried some more. Callie came in to check up on me, but when I wouldn't talk she left. Andy texted me, but I didn't have it in my to reply. So I went to sleep hoping tomorrow would be better.

* * *

**:( please, review? **

**that's all I'm asking. Just take a minute and tell me how you feel. **

**Love, Rachel**


	5. Don't Forget

**Hello world(: it's 12:33 A.M. I have the oddest posting hours, anyway. Thank you for the awesome reviews for the 11 out 97 people who hit up the last chapter(: I don't mind so much anymore, I'm just thankful for those of you who did. I LOVE YOU! schools started so I'm hoping I can keep up. I'm all honors, student council, advanced choir and orchestra, and I'm still taking piano and harp:/ So I apologize ahead of time if I take long to update. **

**Song of The Day: Between You & I - Every Avenue, amazing song probably will be used more than more. **

**Please keep all arms, legs, and hands inside the vehicle at all times and please enjoy the read...  
**

* * *

_**Quil's POV**_

Screw it, screw everything. I wanted to run away. I wanted to kill that boy. I just wanted to tell Claire I loved her and that I had always wanted her to be with me. I wanted to yell at Claire for being an idiot, but most of all I wanted blood from Sam. Dear old Sammy, just because his love life had sucked he had to ruin mine!

I made a sharp turn into the small house which still had the lights on. I saw Sam sitting back in the kitchen while Emily cooked. If I wasn't as pissed as I was I wouldn't have interrupted their couple time, but I didn't care at the moment. I had to calm myself though I couldn't just morph, not like when I was younger.

I slammed the door open and barreled Sam against the wall. He looked worried at first and his face only relaxed a little when he saw it was me.

"What do I owe this nice greeting too?" Sam asked almost smirking. I wanted to punch his stupid grin off his face. He was gonna get it one of these days.

"You screwed up my whole freaking life, asshole," I cried at him. I hadn't realized the tears on my face until I tasted them on my lip. I released him and wiped my eye. I had ruined it. She had only been being a teenager, I couldn't take her life away. I shouldn't of said that to her. I knew that was why Sam was worried about me being there so much. It made me hate him more for being right.

"What's going on Quil?" Sam asked concerned now. He knew it what it was about somehow in hell he always knew.

We sat at the table as I told him everything. About how Claire knew and how I had caught her at the party and what I had said. How I didn't know what to do. I wanted to be mad, but I was sad, heart broken. When I had scared Claire, when she had told me to stop, I realized that I had done that I had put that look on her face. I'd made her cry, I felt like shit. I wanted to get ran over by a plane or jump off a bridge. Even worse we she climbed out of the car and I watched the tears stream down her face. I'd been mad, but when I saw her like that all I wanted to do was wrap her in my arms and say sorry. I wanted to make her not hurt anymore, I wanted to tell her everything and kiss away her pain.

"Very good Quil. I knew you could keep your promise." Sam said looking more please than worried.

"Is that all you freaking care about? That I could keep the secret? Not that Claire's hurt or that I am. I knew you were a dick, but not that big!" I spat. I felt bad Emily had to hear this, but Sam was being the biggest douche ever.

"Well why not just give her some space for a while?" Emily suggested. "You've been a parent figure for so long and you know how they are at this age. She just needs space. Claire couldn't ever live without you."

"This wouldn't of happened if you had let me tell her!" I yelled again. I just I couldn't take it. I just…I just …needed her. I needed to know she didn't hate me and I needed to tell her that I loved her. I needed to be with her. Every part of me just wanted to take her away, screw Sam and my responsibilities. She was all I would ever need anyway.

"She knows you're always going to be there for her. So eventually when she needs someone to talk to which one be long, she is a teenage girl, she'll talk to you." Sam said knowingly, as if he knew. He'd never been with her all day or helped her when some girl said something nasty about her. He'd never watched her fall asleep or how when she woke up she always rubbed her eyes like a four year old, which was so damn cute. He and no one else would ever know her like I did. They wouldn't notice that when she was upset or uncomfortable she would press her hoodie sleeves against her face or run her fingers through her hair. At least I hoped no one else knew her like I did.

"This is all your fault. You ruined this for me. I knew she was ready, she wasn't scared about me loving her. She was scared of me not loving her. If I could only tell her everything would be fine. She wouldn't be hurt and neither would I."

"Quil, I am sorry, okay? I don't want Claire hurt either or you. To be fair as soon as you work things out you can tell her okay. But only if she talks first, I don't want you running off to go tell her. I think she'll be ready." Sam said patting my arm. "Now that that's solved get out. Emily and I were actually having alone time."

"Okay, I guess that helps. Thanks Sam." I said standing giving Emily a hug and shaking hands with Sam. I quickly went back to the apartment I shared with Embry.

After that night I went back to normal life, life without Claire, which wasn't normal at all. My whole day was her. I was taking her to school, taking her to lunch, picking her up, hanging out at her house, texting or calling her when I wasn't with her. I was always with her when I wasn't working which wasn't often. I worked with Jake and Embry at Jake's repair garage. Jake was so touchy about Embry and me not doing it right he just gave us the pay and didn't complain about us never quite doing the way he wanted. I needed the pay so it was an easy job.

I would drive by her house sometimes, trying not to stalk like she had said, seeing if she was there or anything. She never was. Claire wrote Emily a letter every two weeks. She had always thought letters were cool she always wanted to be sent them. So sometimes I would write letters to her or have one of the boys write her one just because she loved the old fashioned touch. As much as she texted and called, writing a letter made it special to her. You put more time and thought into letters, way more personal then text and almost more personal then listening to the person's voice. Emily always let me read them first. Most were just trivial notes and things most people would care about, but I cared. I wanted to know what she was doing and how she was feeling. I desperately wanted her to mention me, ask how I was and then I'd be at her house in a heartbeat, but she never did. She never called, never texted, and never wrote.

Her school started in late August. The falling out had been late July. 3 months went by without her ever contacting me. It was November now, almost my birthday and I only wished to be close to her.

_Dear Emily,_

_I miss you, lots. Sorry I haven't written in a while, I've been quite busy. School keeps me constantly working and tired. I'm passing all my classes luckily and even having time to hang out with Andy. I've helped him study, but studying with a boyfriend always turns into not paying attention to the work. Callie's loving college, I miss her. It's weird, having her so close all the time and usually not liking it and then she goes away and I realize how much I miss her presence. I guess it's true you never know what you have until it's gone…How are you? I've heard that a baby is possible soon? Please tell me, I'd love to help you plan and get ready for it. I finally manned up and Andy taught me how to drive stick so I could use the new car my dad sent me. It's a nice convertible, bright red. I love it and Andy says it's hot when a girl drives stick it means she's confident and knows what she's doing. It's awesome. My mother doesn't like Andy very much, but what else is new. She's uptight and thinks he's a bad influence, but she never really liked Lena either. Oh well, I wish I could see you, but I never have time to make it up there. I'm so sorry for being distant. Homecoming is starting soon and I'm so excited. Andy and I have been nominated for King and Queen homecoming, what an honor. I would love to win, but I realize I'm only there because I'm Callie's little sister. Well Andy's here to pick me up for our beach date. I love you so much and miss you dearly, please send everyone up to visit me soon?(:_

_With all my love,_

_Claire Elise Young_

I adored Claire's mom already, but know I loved her even more for knowing that Andy was a douche. I hated that I hadn't gotten to teach her to drive stick. I told her I would after she found out about the car. I promised her. What I hated more was the kid driving around with her. It was true though, girls driving stick was insanely hot. **(A/ N: Read it in The Summer I Turned Pretty that that's what guys thought, amazing, amazing book if you haven't read it check it out.)** The worst thing those was picturing prom. All boys, even I, had wished to get laid on prom night. I prayed that Claire wouldn't. I hoped she was smarter than that and even worse I thought about how if I had been there Claire might not have even gone with a date. I could have gone with her, it was homecoming. I wished that I could go, but I had promised Sam if I could tell her I wouldn't go running to her. I wouldn't go running to her. I had to wait for her, like I'd waited 16 years already. I had thought about her constantly of course. I couldn't ever not think about her, I just hoped she hadn't forgotten me.

**Claire's POV**

I sat on the deck on our back porch thinking about life, It was where Andy and I usually hung out, but he was at football practice today. Homecoming was going to be here soon and I needed to start getting serious about my dress and the planning for after parties and such. Andy wanted it, my V card, on homecoming after party at some hotel. I had already made it clear that wasn't going to happen. I liked Andy, hell I'd even told him I loved him. I knew it wasn't true, I knew it'd never be true. I knew who I really loved and who I really loved it hurt to think about him, but I couldn't not think about him because that hurt more. So I thought about him constantly, wondering if he was thinking about me, what he was doing, if he was off with some gorgeous Brazilian model. Unlikely, but who knows with his looks he could have snagged one. I missed his gorgeous smile always waking me up or being the last thing I saw before I went to bed. I saw it or tried to think of it in my head before I did go to sleep, but it wasn't the same. I pictured he's messy curls, his big hand with mine, he smile when I opened the door, his warmth when he'd hold me, and the other millions of things I could list. Then it hurt too much so I had to stop.

I stood and walked inside considering what I could do. The last couple months it was rare when I wasn't out or with Andy or Lena. I'd been trying to fill the space so hard I felt empty when I was alone. I had started sleeping so much. I decided it sounded like a good idea as I curled up in my cold bed wishing for that heat I'd been so comfortable with. I just wished that things between him and I were okay again, back to the way they were. Then I drifted.

* * *

**More of a filler chapter, but it's important to see Quil's thoughts too. I really, really hope you liked it. I'm getting sort of down about this story:/**

**review, please? please, please, please?  
**

**Love, Rachel.  
**


	6. November

**Although I only got 8 reviews:/ You wonderful people who reviewed inspired me. I had already started this chapter by the time I had posted the other so it was already ready. I'm in love with this chapter. I hope you also fall in love.**

**I'm also in love with music. It can inspire a whole story, a chapter, even a way of life. It embodies happiness, joy, and even pain. So much can be felt in one song, it's so hard to chose a song of the day because so many things match the mood for my story. I can listen to a song and base everything around it or I can listen to a whole CD and change my whole perspective. Anyway getting on with it...**

**Song of The Day: November - Azure Ray(most amazing song ever), Fix You & The Scientist - Coldplay, & Last Request - Paolo Nutini(beautiful, beautiful song)**

**

* * *

**Quil's POV

"Get up Quil, were going to Port Angeles for a good time and I don't give a damn if you don't want to go," Embry said taking the remote from my hand and turning of the old reruns of the Office I was watching.

"I'm not going dude. Claire's letter hasn't come yet and it's almost time and I want to read it first," I said. It seemed like a good reason even though it was 6 at night and the mail comes around 2. Embry would never know anyway. This had been my life for the last 3 months. I watched the Office, Boy Meets World, and waited for Claire's letters.

"Get up off your fat ass! You're going I don't care if I have to morph and tie you to a chair. You're going," Embry said threateningly. "It's your goddamn birthday. You should go out and get some!"

"The last parts not going to happen unless Claire's magically at the club and wants to talk to me. But I'll go." I decided it would be good to get out for a little while get my mind off of Claire. I secretly wished what I said would happen, hell it wasn't even a secret. I prayed that Claire would end up there somehow. I got dresses in clothes she had helped me pick out which was one of the two nice dressier outfits she had gotten me.

Soon we zoomed off in Embry's Jeep while the other guy's climbed in Jake's truck and hit up Castaway's a local restaurant turned nightclub later on weekends.

Claire's POV

"Lets hurry it up, Claire Bear!" Lena called waltzing through my room as I got dressed. We were headed out to some club in Port Angeles with my new hot convertible. It was my birthday weekend and I'd just turned 17. I was ready to hit the clubs and just have fun. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah almost, where are we going anyway?" I asked spraying my perfume on at first I had told myself to stop wearing it, but I couldn't resist. I loved the smell and it helped me hold onto him a little more.

"Port Angeles, Castaways," Lena murmured running her fingers through her ponytail again. She had dark jeans on and a white tank top on with her newly dyed hair her whole head was strawberry blonde. I wore a low cut black flowing camisole and white shorts. Lena had told me to go simplistic because apparently she knew everything about 'clubbing.' You don't go clubbing in Port Angeles there aren't many actually nice nightclubs. It's like One Eyed Pete's or nothing. Luckily Castaways had turned nightclub during dark so it was the new hang out for those who could get it.

"Alright, I'm ready," I said grabbing the bag and following Lena out to my new car. My car was the shit, no joke. It had leather and everything it was the Red Ferrari. Andy had taught me how to drive, but he sort of sucked at it. Someone else who I knew, knew how to drive one and was supposed to teach me, but of course that got screwed over.

I had to stop thinking about it I thought as we drove the hour and a half drive to Port Angeles. We drove up to Castaways and parked a little ways away and got in the line. It was a popular place being the only nice bar at night. It was a Friday night and then I remembered what tonight was and why I couldn't stop thinking about him. It was November 20th, his birthday. His birthday was exactly a day away from mine. I used to love that as a kid. We'd always celebrate together. We had every year except…this one.

The line wasn't too long, but when we arrived at the door I saw a group of tall boys behind us. I knew who it was I just hoped the wouldn't bust us, or on the other hand I wouldn't mind if I could just see him again. I hurried and tried to get in as fast as possible while Lena was talking to some boy behind her.

"ID's please?" The tall bouncer asked. When we handed them to him he gave us a skeptical look. "Girls, were not dumb okay? We know you're under age. Why do you bother?"

"Please sir, you don't understand were not here to drink or anything just to dance," Lena said as the bouncer looked less than amused. "Promise, cross my heart. I swear that we'll even come tell you later that we're not wasted or anything. Come on it's just two harmless little girls."

Quil's POV

When we got there the line was pushed back a little and they had seemed to stop letting people in. Some guys were complaining about the two hot girls in the front of the line begging themselves in. I didn't think much of it as the other guys did. Embry, Jake, Seth, Collin, Brady, and Paul had tagged along because Rachel was at Rebecca's tonight. They started yelling at the front of the line.

"Hey how about you just get out of line little girls!" Paul and Embry boomed as the one of the girls whipped around to glare. I realized it was Lena and the tinier girl next to her had to be my Claire. My Claire holding up a bar line. I couldn't believe it was really her, my birthday wish. It couldn't be true, maybe it was somebody else. I could only see the back of her head.

But then I heard the voice, "How about you shut your mouth you stupid mother-"

She started to yell when Lena gripped her arm and pulled her inside. She winked at the bouncer before walking through the door. I would never know how Lena managed to do these things.

Claire's POV

We got there earlier than we thought we would because there was no traffic. So we grabbed some food at a dirty Mexican restaurant. I usually loved Mexican food, but this had a funny taste after every bite. Lena assured me I'd be too drunk to taste the bad food anyway and that I needed something in my stomach for the night ahead of us. I kept eating while Lena just sipped her soda. She had always been able to drink me under the table.

When someone started yelling at us to get out of line I was getting pissed. Not only had we driven all the way here and waited in the line. The bouncer was about to let us in, but when Lena whipped around to glare I realized she gasped and then I knew she knew. Of course he was there, it was his birthday after all. He wasn't celebrating with me and he wouldn't have just sat at home. Then I heard Paul yell about how I was to little and my fuse broke. It was too much for me to handle. I didn't feel well already and now to have stupid loud mouth Paul yell at me.

"How about you shut your mouth you stupid mother-" I yelled back glaring at the tall figures, but Lena grabbed my arm and pulled me away quicker than I could finish my sentence. We entered the dark room and soon Andy appeared by my side giving me a quick kiss, but I wasn't in the mood. Actually I really wanted to run into Quil, but I couldn't I had been doing so well. Maybe he'd come to me, but I knew Lena would hate that. For the last few months I had actually been there, I had actually been the best friend I should have been. She would kill me if I ran off to him. Lena kept moving and taking me with her, she was good. She made sure we were never in the same spot so no one could find us.

Andy got me some drink which I took quickly and gave him a reason to get away from me to refill it. I started feeling a little woozy, but kept going wherever Lena dragged me. I felt sick and tired. I just wanted to go find Quil and let him hold me for a while.

Quil's POV

I never let my eyes leave Claire and Lena pulled her through the crowd and every which way. I grabbed myself a drink, but never let her stray from my eye. I knew she was aware we were here. I mean I practically had to fight Paul to keep him from going up there and telling the bouncer they were too young. She looked different, good different. Her hair was longer and shiny under the lights I could imagine how soft it would be. Although I could tell she wasn't feeling well because she kept running her fingers through her hair, she still looked so gorgeous to me.

"Hey man, where were you? You disappeared as soon as we got here." Embry bellowed at me from the booth he was sitting in. A little redhead smiled at me and soon got up and went to dance.

"That little bitch Lena has been dragging Claire everywhere so I've been trying to keep an eye on her." I murmured polishing off my drink.

"Why don't you talk to her?" He said flicking Seth in the ear. As big as Seth talked he really couldn't hold down his alcohol and was always tired and wasted from two or three drinks. Seth swatted his hand away muttering something and then probably passing out against the cushion behind him.

"I'm going to let her talk to me if she wants too. I promised Sam." I said watching as Claire searched across the room. I wondered if she was looking for me or Andy, but he was by her side trying to get her attention as she stared. We locked eyes for about ten seconds before she turned her head back to Andy. Lena then looked at me and glared.

Lena's POV

I was refilling my drink when Andy cam back down to refill Claire's again. I had caught Quil and her staring at each other and that just couldn't happen. Claire was my best friend, not that douche bag's he had hurt her. I couldn't let him steal her away again.

"Claire come dance with me baby," Andy said taking her hand but she always let go. Andy was buzzed and was obviously wanting to hook up with Claire since she hadn't given it to him on homecoming. Andy was a catch I couldn't believe she was still mourning over that ass Quil.

"I don't feel well. Go take Lena or something," She murmured looking around at the crowd. Claire had been moaning and bitching about not feeling well all night and I was sick of it. I wanted to dance and if Claire wasn't going to dance with Andy I would.

Claire's POV

I watched as Lena and Andy disappeared into the crowd. I had had too much drink and everything was feeling nasty. I saw the door, felt the cold air blowing through it. I had to reach it. I just had to make it outside if my life depended on it. I wobbled to the door or tried as I fought my way through the crowd. When I finally got out there I leaned against the cold wall and slid down it. I curled up in a ball only moving when I vomited all over the ground next to me. I felt disgusting and then I started to cry. This night had sucked. I felt like going home and just lying in a hole the rest of my life. Andy and Lena were off dancing and having fun while I laid in the alley throwing up. I closed my eyes and rested my head against the cold ground.

Quil's POV

I watched Claire stumble out the back door. I had to wait until the right time to run after her, as badly as I wanted to go then, I worried about Lena seeing me and blocking my exit. When I finally made it out there I looked down the alley. I didn't see her, I stared to panic, but then at my feet I saw her curled into a ball. She had a pile of vomit next to her head and she had tears streaming her face. She was sick and probably wasted. I brushed her hair back from her face and she leaned into my hand like she always had. She turned her head to cough up more food and then started to cry again. I sat down next to her and wrapped her in my arms letting her head rest against my shoulder. There was no way that Sam or anyone else could make me leave her now. I didn't care that I was supposed to wait for her to come to me. She needed me now and it was ridiculous that Sam would think I would leave her alone when the whole night had been begging me to find her. She pressed her face against my chest and cried more.

"Get away from her!" Lena cried at the door. She was there with that fag Andy. He looked less than concerned his hair was messy, as was Lena's, and they both look flustered.

"Who the hell are you?" Andy asked now realizing the situation. He started to take a step towards us when Lena grabbed his arm pulling him back.

"I'm the one who's actually helping her when she was alone sick back in this dirty place while you guys were doing God knows what." I yelled, but when Claire moaned I felt bad for yelling while she probably had a headache and was trying to sleep.

Andy's eyes got really big. "You were that guy from the beach,"

"Sure as hell I am," I said letting go of Claire only for a moment to punch him across the face. Lena gasped and ran to Andy to look at his nose. I picked up Claire and held her against my chest like a child. Her limbs hung limb and she only moved to settle against my chest. It seemed like she was asleep. "I'll be taking her home now."

"She hates you!" Lena cried, the words stung at first, but Lena was a liar. She was drunk liar. I couldn't believe a word she said. She'd do anything to keep Claire close, I knew it. Over the years there'd always been the struggle for Claire to make time for Lena. "She won't remember anything from tonight, she never does when she's wasted. She won't even know it was you! You ruined her life, she'd never believe you."

Lena's POV

I was a terrible person, I knew it. Claire would know, that I had done something I should have never done. While Claire was sick in the alley, Andy and I had been on the other side of the building. I had given my virginity to Andy and hadn't used anything. I knew that I couldn't do anything. I had ruined everything my whole life. My friendship with Claire and on top of that Quil had been the one to save her. While I had sex with her boyfriend. I bawled as Andy and I got a cab. He was to drunk to drive and so was I, but I was in hysterics too. I couldn't deal with myself. I couldn't believe what I had done. We were just dancing when Andy pulled me close and told me he liked me, that he wanted me, not Claire. Everyone wanted Claire, I was always second choice. I didn't care that he was drunk or that it was probably because Claire wouldn't give him the time of day. I took him as soon as I could, I wanted to feel wanted. Could she really blame me for that? Yes, yes she could because he belonged to her I realized, which just made me cry more.

Quil's POV

I got a cab and laid Claire in it while I ran back inside. I grabbed her car keys which I found only two away from ours. I found the guys without girls drinking and singing to the bar music. Embry who already sucked at singing was singing the loudest, while Jake, the driver for the night along with me, was sitting looking irritated.

"Look I'll explain more later, but Claire's sick in the back on the taxi cab. So I'm going to take her home. I'll see you guys tomorrow. Someone the least drunk please take her car home." I said handing them her keys and dashing back to the cab. I gave the driver the direction and then settled Claire into my arms. She didn't move as I ran my fingers through her hair, it was soft as I had guessed. I kissed her forehead gently and she put her hand on my face. I sucked in a breathe remembering she was drunk and unsure of what she was doing.

"Quil," she murmured against my neck which she had tucked her face into. She took in a deep breath. "I know it's you, you smell the exactly, exactly the same way. So warm and clean. I missed you, I miss you soooo much. Come back to mee. You're the only one who really cares about me. I need you."

It was going to be a long ride back. She would talk often whispering in my ear, she cried some more. She asked why I'd left her and why I didn't love her. I could never respond, but to kiss her head lightly sometimes or chuckle when she rambled. But she said all these things the way I had always hoped, but only when she wasn't intoxicated. When the cab pulled up at her house I saw no one was home. I had planned on dropping her off and walking back to my apartment, but I couldn't help myself when she leaned against me again and whispered.

"Quil please don't leave me. I love you, you're my birthday present."

I paid the driver and walked carried her inside. The door was unlocked and I walked her to her bedroom and laid her on the bed. I looked around her room as she stirred. I realized that some of her clothes had a bad smell and a little vomit. I pulled off my white undershirt and pulled it over her head. I felt wrong pulling off her clothes, but she couldn't sleep in these. I made sure everything was covered before I took the straps off her shoulders and pulled it down her skinny legs. I pulled off her shorts also feeling her soft skin under my fingers drove me insane. She was so tiny my shirt covered her almost longer than the shorts had. I looked to throw her clothes in the hamper, but I realized then she had rearranged her room. I wasn't sure where everything was. I also noticed a lot of things were missing, it wasn't that she had moved things, but key points in the room where gone. She had taken things out, pictures that had hung on the wall of me and her, the picture book I'd given her, the pillow case I'd drawn on, the desk I'd drawn our names into, and even some of my clothes that used to be in her closet were nowhere to be found. I wished I could take it all back, I wished she'd remember tonight, but I knew she wouldn't. When she was sick she barely remembered her name, but tonight was mine. It was my birthday and this is what I wanted. We'd always celebrated together and if this was what I was going to get, I was going to take it. So I laid down with her under the light comforter. She laid her head on my chest and laid her tiny hands on my bare chest. Where her fingers traced my skin screamed out to be touched more. I could be with her, but I wasn't going to take advantage of her.

"Happy birthday," She whispered, but then she did something I didn't except she sat up and leaned in to kiss me. I couldn't, I couldn't let her do this. It wasn't fair to either of us, I gently pushed her back down feeling insane that I would reject such a thing. "You won't even kiss me in my dreams now huh?"

"You dream about me?" I questioned. She laid her head back down at settled to giving me a light kiss on the neck.

"All the time, but usually you'd kiss me back. This is a different one, you've never saved me or stayed with me during the night. You always end up leaving. This has been the best dream of all." Claire muttered never opening her eyes. I missed those beautiful green eyes. "Hey dream Quil. Will you at least stay tonight and hold me? I mean it was my birthday yesterday…which means your birthday's day. Happy Birthday Dream Quil."

"I'll stay as long as you want…and thanks." I whispered kissing her forehead.

"Hey, I love you." Claire said sleepily getting more situated.

"Hey I love you too Claire Bear."

I fell asleep quickly. I had gotten what I had wanted for my birthday, to be with her. It was enough, enough for now. In the morning I found her on her side facing me still totally knocked out. As much as it hurt, emotionally and physically, I had to leave. I kissed her cheek and grabbed my things. I stood at the door and gave one last fleeting look to the beautiful girl, her hair fanned out everywhere, breathing heavily, and taking my breathe away with every second. I couldn't very well take my shirt off of her and really I didn't want to. I wanted her to maybe believe it wasn't a dream. I wished that the shirt would make her think of me, come back to me.

* * *

**Hopefully you guys liked it. I hope I get a better reaction for this chapter. **

**please, review?**

**love, Rachel**


	7. Dare You To Move

**I got a few more reviews this time, which is great. Thank you soo much. I'm glad you like the little bit of fluff, I was getting bored of them not doing anything. **

**Song of the day: Beautiful Disaster - Jon McLaughlin & My Beautiful Rescue - This Providence  
**

**

* * *

**Dreams could be hopes, fears, nonsense, they could mean nothing at all. My dream of Quil saving me though, was so real I had even woken up in one of his shirts. I had owned so many because they were so big and comfy. Lena had promised me that Andy had dropped me off after I got sick in the alley and had just grabbed a shirt and threw it on me. It made sense I had so many, just huge white T-shirts. I always used to sleep in them, but what hadn't made sense was that it smelled like him and I'd hidden all of them in Callie's old room. Who knows I could have missed one, but the dream was so vivid. I remembered spilling my guts to Quil in the cab ride home, crying all over him. I had even told him I loved him and begged him not to leave me. He complied and laid with me in bed and pushed me away when I tried to kiss him, which usually didn't happen in my dreams about him. I believed them because I was always delusional when I was sick or drunk and I couldn't very well ask him. The dream was very close to what I hoped would have happened.

Another couple months went by, Christmas and such was uneventful. My mother was only there in the morning having me unwrap gift after gift and then leaving for work. My dad sent several expensive things which I would probably never need. He must have had Abigail pick out the gifts because I majority of them were pink, light pink, hot pink, rose. Emily and the boys sent two gifts, a hundred dollars & 2 tubs of cookie dough and then the day was like all the rest. I wanted to return Emily's money because of the child they had on they're way, I didn't need money. My dad and mom both made enough to give me more than I needed. I still couldn't bring myself to drive out there so I hung out with Andy and then went to bed.

It was March now and Lena had stopped hanging out with Andy and me. She slowly because crabbier, but also nicer. She cried a lot, for reasons I didn't know. She'd gained some weight and was almost always eating. It started getting clearer, but every time I asked her if she had any chance of being pregnant from Josh she just brushed it off. She wouldn't talk to me for chunks of time and when she did we only hung out for a little while. I had hardly seen her since Thanksgiving. I hadn't thought too much of it because Andy seemed to be so attentive all the time now. After my sickness that night I wondered if he worried about me.

On one of the rare occasions we hung out Lena wouldn't want to sit outside, and if we did carefully not in the sun and eat salads at stuff. She had gone totally healthy and overly attentive. Lena and I were hanging out on my porch when she finally broke the silence.

"Claire, I'm pregnant." She declared looking off into the distance. She had been anxious all day. I had wondered when she'd finally admit it to me. She acted as if I had no clue in the matter, I wasn't dumb and I couldn't believe she would think that of me. It was starting to show, a small bump under her shirts. She'd only been wearing flowing ones for a while now, or a baggy hoodie.

"I know. It's been pretty obvious." I said blankly, I thought nothing of it other than I'd have to be the one driving her everywhere. Josh had practically run away from her when the rumor mill started about her. It wasn't surprising in the least. I wasn't trying to sound like I didn't care, but I was a little irritated she didn't tell me. "Josh obviously isn't going to be helping any."

"Claire…it wasn't Josh." Lena said looking down at her stomach. She wasn't to the point where everyone knew yet. I wondered if her parents even knew. It was unlikely Lena's parents were even more distant than mine.

"It wasn't?" I questioned now curious, who would she have not told me about? I hadn't heard of her hooking up with anyone else and she surely would of waved the new boy in my face sometime. I guessed it must have been in the months of her absence, she would have told me if it hadn't been.

"I…I love you Claire, you're my best friend. You're supposed to always be there for me through think and through thin, right?" She said locking eyes with me and then I knew it was serious. Maybe it had been a teacher or some rapist, something serious. I nodded and let her continue. "Then I need to be honest with you."

"Go on,"

"That night, the night you were sick in the alley? It- it wasn't Andy, it was Quil…because while you were sick, Andy took my…my virginity behind the bar." She let out a deep breathe and then continued. I was speechless. I couldn't compute with what she was telling me. "Andy was upset you hadn't been in the mood and he told me he wanted me. I just I've never been wanted like that and so I took it. You'd been so sad over Quil and I just I needed attention and when Andy offered it. I just, I'm so sorry Claire. I'm the worst person in the world, I lied and I didn't tell you right when it happened. I just I couldn't let you and Andy keep playing boyfriend and girlfriend when I…I love him."

She was crying now, looking at me waiting for my response.

"Andy or the baby?" Nothing, there was nothing else I could come up with, I couldn't think it was all too much. I had been right the dream wasn't a dream it had been Quil, but Lena and Andy had made the ultimate betrayal. It hurt almost as much as losing Quil. I couldn't turn to anyone. I was alone. Quil had been there and he loved me, but it still hurt. I couldn't let myself get hurt again, especially from Quil. Lena and Andy the people I thought I could trust had stabbed me in the back and then practically ate my heart.

"Both of them…" Lena cried sobbing, shaking so hard. "I'm sorry Claire. I don't deserve you. I'm so, so sorry, but I couldn't let Andy keep lying to you and I, I couldn't keep doing it,"

"Leave," I murmured, it was almost as much as I could bear.

"Claire…You have to understand I love them…"

"Get away from me, you…you selfish whore,"

She stood and dashed from my house, I saw the car waiting outside. It was Andy, in his dad's convertible. He was of course the one who would come pick her up. They would make it so she would apologize and then stab me again. For a moment I thought about flinging myself of the porch. Spring break was only in two days, I could miss a couple days and disappear for a while. I thought quickly, my mother wouldn't care. She would think I was at Lena's or Andy's. She never noticed. I grabbed a lot of my things together. I packed clothes and toiletries anything I need. I didn't have a clue where I'd go, but I needed to get out of here. I couldn't stay in the town, I fought back tears as I threw everything in my car. I pulled away from the house and drove to the beach and faced the ocean and wrote a letters.

* * *

_Dear Emily,_

_I'm leaving, I'm not sure where yet, but I have to get out of this town. Don't worry about me, don't try to call or inform my mother. That'll just make her worry for no reason. Lena…Lena and Andy had sex in November. The night I told you I had a knight in shining armor, it wasn't Andy and I know you know who it was. They lied to me for months strung me along and for me to find out Lena's pregnant with Andy's baby. She told me today and then after I told her to leave Andy came and picked her up. I can't, I just can't describe how I feel, but I need to leave. I'll be back after Spring Break, but I just need to leave. I just wanted to let someone know where I was. Please understand and don't sent anyone after me. That'll make me just run farther. _

_Love always, _

_Claire Elise Young_

_

* * *

__Lena,_

_I didn't mean what I said about you being a whore. I hope the baby's growing well. As for you and Andy wouldn't wish bad things, but I don't' wish you well. When spring break is over don't bother talking to me, I'll talk to you if I want to. If Andy doesn't already get the memo, he and I are over. I don't want anything to do with you guys. So just leave me alone. You owe me at least that._

_Claire_

_

* * *

  
_

I only had to hold back the tears long enough to set them on Lena's front door and Emily's. If her parents happened to pick up the letter first and they didn't know, she would get her just desserts. I quickly left Lena's there and then went to drop Emily's off. There were people there, Quil was there I saw the Beast sitting in the driveway. I had to be quiet and quick. I left the letter on the doorstep and bolted.

Then I drove as fast as I could. I didn't care where and I didn't care I couldn't see because I was bawling my eyes out. I wanted to hurl myself out of the car and at the same time I wanted to picture Lena and Andy in front of me while I drove at full speed. I couldn't believe how much I could fell in any given moment. It felt like screaming while crying or smiling while dying. I was broken, that's when I really realized it. I couldn't hold it in any longer. I needed Quil again, but I couldn't turn around and take him back. I didn't, I couldn't get hurt like that again. I just…

I wasn't close to town so I thought I didn't have to worry about hitting people, but when I ran into the back of a car, I knew I'd gone to far. I started crying more, the man climbed out of the car and came to knock at my window. I couldn't open it. I couldn't get myself to stop crying for even a second to apologize or even open the door. I got out of the fetal position I was afraid I would break apart. I screamed out of frustration. It was too much for me. I screamed again, not caring that I looked mentally insane to this person.

Like magic he was there. The car I'd hit had to be the Beast, of course. I looked up to see him peering in my window. I realized he couldn't know it was me. I was curled into a ball with a black jacket on, but he opened the door and reached in to grab me.

"Why didn't you come to me?" He whispered as he held me tight against his chest. He kept holding me as a cried. It felt like forever that we stood there, but if he was going to be there forever might be okay. When I felt like I was going to break into a million pieces he brought me back together. After a while I felt like I'd run out of tears and I'd gotten Quil's shirt ruined. He had held me and told it'd be okay, even though I knew he didn't have a clue. I just held on tight breathing in his soothing scent. "Where were you going to go?"

"I don't know," I muttered into his flannel shirt. I hadn't even in looked him directly in the face, every time I tried my eyes welled up again and again. I kept thinking how even if that night replayed itself I couldn't hurt anymore. I would go into such an overload. I just wouldn't feel anything anymore. At the moment I thought I couldn't feel any worse than I already did. I'd already cried over him, too many times to count. He could push me out of his arms and it would be the same, except this time I really wouldn't have anyone. The night he'd taken care of me and I hadn't known didn't mean much to me anymore. It was just a something he had to do. He wasn't going to leave me in the dirty alley. He had more of a heart then that. "I don't know anything anymore."

"Claire, I have to tell you something," Quil said seriously. He cupped my cheek in his hands, I leaned into it just like I always had. It was warm and comfortable as ever, but at the same time I was hesitant. He was going to break it to me. He was going to shatter me into a million pieces. When I had thought nothing could hurt more I realized it could. Because he was going to tell me that he had done what he had done that night because he couldn't leave me there. He would tell me he still didn't love me and that I wasn't what he wanted. And even though he'd been there, it just made it more painful. I had been with him for a night and now he was going to take it back. The shittest and best night of my life would be taken away from me. He'd take everything back, all those things he'd said that night. Then like everything else in my life had been going soon he'd be completely gone too.

He waited until I looked him in the eye. I thought about how terrible I looked. Red puffy eyes, blotchy skin and a red nose. I might as well of gotten dressed in the dark. I looked at him, he was the same. He hadn't aged one bit. His hair had grown a little, but wasn't unruly. His high cheek bones and dark eyes always made me take in my breath. He had such a serious expression on his face, but then he broke into a gorgeous smile.

"Claire, I love you. I love you so much."

* * *

**The moment you've been waiting for ladies and gentlemen(:**

**if you want more review please(: i really hope you liked it.**

**love always, rachel(:  
**


	8. Falling Over Me

**Hey guys! I finally finished. I'm not sure how much I like, but I sure hope you do! I broke my comma button because I pulled it off, awesome. I just have to hit the rubber thing now. Laame. oh well, i'm still sort of sick and my schools possibly getting out for 10 days because a swine flu break out! D: You don't care about this...anyway **

**4, 3, 2, 1 ACTION!**  
**Shoot, Song of the Day: Falling Over Me - Demi Lovato**

**NOW GO!  
**

* * *

I went into overload, this was too much. After being unloved, hurt, lied to, backstabbed, ignored, chased after and now…loved. I couldn't handle it. I wanted to scream and run away and I wanted to embrace him and make him never leave. I wanted to kill him for making me feel this way. The pressure I thought had already exploded, but I was wrong. Everything was spinning and then my vision blurred becoming fuzzy. Black dots filled my vision and then I was gone.

**Quil's POV**

She fainted, I told her I loved her and she passed out. That wasn't the reaction I was hoping for exactly. I felt her limp in my arms, in other situations this might have been nice, but since we still had clothes on and were in the middle of the road it wasn't. I laid her in my truck and grabbed her bags, calling Jake to come pick up her car. Of course he was stoked, after driving it home the night she passed out in the alley, he'd fallen in love. I drove Claire back to my house and set her down in my bed while I looked at the amount of luggage she had packed away. I wished I could help her, save her. I needed to save her from all this emotion, all this pain. Maybe I could actually try to kiss it away.

When I walked back into my room she must have woken up because she was now tucked under the covers. She looked beautiful. Her hair was spread out in every angle like a fan, her eyes fluttered, and her chest moved heavily. She was gorgeous, tiny, beautiful, amazing and soon to be all mine, hopefully. I watched her carefully for a little while longer before starting to make dinner. Dinner was Hamburger Help and left over cookie dough that I had bought for Claire a long time ago. I set a Claire sized portion aside and dug into the rest., which was all gone by the time she walked in.

She looked tired still and a little awkward with her arms wrapped around herself. So tiny, and she was the apple of my eye. She had shorts on with a white shirt and black hoodie which covered most of her body. The shirt I realized was mine, from who knows when. Her hair was wavy as usual and had gotten so long it was to the middle of her back. She looked at the food and I heard her stomach growl.

"I hope it's enough," I said quickly, I wasn't quite sure what to do with her. She looked scared almost, so fragile. She sat down and started to eat silently.

**Claire's POV**

When I woke up with the smell of Quil all around me I realized I was in his bed. Not only on his bed, but wrapped in his covers with my face pressed to his pillow. I had missed to so much I laid there for a long time until I heard Quil start putting pans away in the sink. I smelled boxed food which was all they really ate around here. His room hadn't changed one bit, it was still semi-clean and still pretty plain. Where as my room was blue, purple, and white which made it vibrating in the sun, Quil's was white walls and a black bed spread with a dresser, desk, and TV. He had a picture board I'd gotten him with pictures of us when I had dreamed of being a photographer. He had kept them all and hung the most random of them up there. There were some of us and some of Quil's feet or my hair.

I heard Quil putting away pots and pans when I looked out the door frame to watch him. I realized I was freezing and wrapped my arms around myself as he stared at me. My stomach heaved because I hadn't eaten since lunch yesterday I saw the bowl on food on the table and a tub of cookie dough sitting next to it.

"I hope it's enough," He said watching me carefully. I couldn't even put a sentence together to say anything so I sat down at ate. I was starving. He watched me for a while longer, I never looked him in the eye, but I could tell he was looking at me. It was obvious, his whole body was turned towards me. I devoured the food and sat staring ahead not knowing what to do now. I jumped when I felt his warm hand on my shoulder.

"Meet me in the living room when you're ready," He gave my shoulders a squeeze and disappeared. I stared at the empty bowl, feeling as empty as it was. I felt sort of numb, hurt was all I expected now.

He loved me now? What kind of messed up shit was this? So after I left he suddenly realized that he loved me? After months and months had gone by without me, he realized that he couldn't live without me? With chagrin I stood and walked into the living room where Quil sat on the couch staring at me. I sat down a section away from him. I wanted answer and I wanted them now.

"Claire I'm so sorry," Quil began looking uncertain. His eyes looked longingly at me and his words seemed sincere, but he had no clue what he'd put me through. One apology wasn't what I wanted anyway. I need to know, I needed to know all the secrets. I needed to understand why he all the sudden loved me. "I have so much to say…I just, I don't know where to start."

"The beginning maybe?"

"Still sarcastic as ever." Quil mumbled chuckling. He drummed his fingers on his leg and sucked in a deep breath. "What you heard that night, it was all true."

"I know that," I quipped, thinking about that night. I knew I hadn't dreamed it and I was furious at him for lying to me. I tried not to make a face when I replayed the following months in my head. I couldn't believe all the stuff that had happened, it was a reality show waiting to be aired. "I hated you."

"I know…I hated myself for that too," Quil said dropping his head. "When I found you with that boy. I just wanted to kill him and part of me wanted to be him. Then when you were crying and you were scared of me, I was about ready to fling myself off a bridge. Then Sam told me I could tell you, but only when you talked to me first. I wanted to coming running back to you, know that. I wanted to tell you everything and I wanted to be with you all the time. Then when you were at the club on my birthday and you asked me to stay. I couldn't believe it, it was everything I had wished. Well not exactly how I had pictured it, but close enough for me."

"That night, it was enough for me too."

"Claire, do you remember the stories of our tribe?" Quil asked carefully, he hesitantly took my hand lacing his fingers with mine, like old times. I nodded slowly. I did remember, we were descended from wolves and they were the protectors of our land. The cold ones were our enemies and the wolves were supposed to protect us from them. Wolves were to protect their human mates.

"All the wolf stuff," I murmured. This was all so irrelevant, I wish he would just spit whatever the hell he was going to say out. He sucked in a breathe and looked at me again. I wish I could describe what it was like. His gaze was so intense I was afraid he might burn up. It had to mean something though, he wouldn't bring up something not important.

"The protectors, the wolf men, who keep us safe from the bloodsuckers," Quil said slowly, weighing each word like if he said something wrong it would tip a perfectly even scale. "That's who we are. Me and your uncle's pack,"

It all made sense now. Everything was so clear, why hadn't I thought of that before? Of course they were the protectors. They were all super human everything, speed, size, shape, and hunger. They were all so connected like brothers. They would leave in the middle of something suddenly and then reappear usually happy. Always so possessive of the girls, so careful and obsessed. Like with Sam and Emily, Jared and Kim, Paul and Rachel, and Jake and Nessie. Then what about Quil?

"Tell me the rest," I demanded, I needed to know. That night flooded back to me stronger, his mate. His mate, HIS MATE. "About Sam and Emily,"

"Emily is Sam's imprint. An imprint is a wolves mate, it's so much stronger than anything else in the world. Once you see them nothing else in the world matters, they are your world. You'd do anything for them and you're whatever they need in life." Quil replied, his voice grew with sadness. "A lover, a brother, a best friend, or maybe nothing."

"And…am I your imprint?" I asked quietly. I almost wished he wouldn't answer. I had thought everything had been so clear, but now they were blurrier than ever. If I wasn't then it would crush me, but if I was. I didn't even know what I wanted from him. I loved him, I knew I always would, but after everything that had happened I felt like I couldn't trust him. He'd hurt me intentionally on top of that. As much as I wanted him, it felt like at any moment he'd turn on me again telling me he didn't love me. The thought actually made me want to pull away my hand. He saw the look in my face, scared, worried, sad.

"Yes Claire, you are. Does that make you sad? Do you not want to be with me?" Quil asked his face also twisting into pain. His eyes looked sad and I didn't want that. I didn't want him to hurt.

"No, I just. I'm scared." I admitted. I was scared to fall in love with him, I'd been in love with him but that was when it was with him not wanting me. The thought of being in love with him and him loving me back sounded good, but I didn't know if I could just let him in the same way anymore. It felt like I was holding myself back even now.

"Scared of me being a wolf?" Quil said seeming even sadder.

"No, no. I don't have a problem with that," I replied shaking my head. That didn't bother me one bit. I didn't care if he turned into an animal. That was actually sort of a pro.

He laughed and smiled, "You don't care that I turn into a huge furry beast?"

"No, but…the imprint thing," I said dragging him back into sadness. I wish I could stop myself, but I needed to be honest with him. "You hurt me Quil, you hurt me so much. I felt like half of me was gone. I couldn't believe you didn't love me, not at all at least, but that's what it sounded like to me that night. Then for you to tell me that I would never belong to you and now you're telling me that what I heard was right? I'm supposed to mean everything to you, yet you wouldn't tell me? You told me to stay out of it to stay out of your business. It's just hard to understand. I just…"

I let every word spill out, I remembered that night down word for word. He looked as upset as I had felt then.

"I wasn't allowed to tell you Claire. When Sam, who is the leader, gives me an order. I can't ignore it. It causes me physical pain, like he's yelling right in my ear. It actually hurts and when he told me I couldn't tell you I couldn't tell you. I didn't have a choice. I wanted to Claire trust me. I would never want to hurt you like that, I care about you so much. You have to understand," Quil said with so much passion in voice it was hard to doubt. "Claire, I have loved you since you were two, you've been my world since then. Every day was so difficult not to drive to your school so I could see you. To be honest I read you letters before Emily ever read them. I wanted to go to your house and sometimes I'd see your car around town or when I was passing a store and I had to fight with myself not to pull over and accidentally run into you someone. I mean for God's sake I sat on your Facebook page to see what you were doing!"

I had to laugh at that, I updated my Facebook page constantly it was sad. He laughed to which made me laugh and for a while we just laughed and smiled at each other. For a second we forgot all the stupid fight and complications. I wanted this, I did want to be with Quil. I just need some time. I needed to be with him again. I needed to remember how it was between us.

Once the laughing stopped Quil squeezed my hand and brought me back the current situation. "Claire I need to be whatever you need me to be. If that's just nothing then I can deal with that, if it's a friend or maybe even something more like a boyfriend. I want you to be happy,"

"I want to be with you. I just, I need time I think to get used to this, us." I replied. Then yawned I had forgotten that it was late. I hadn't realized how tired I was even though I had just slept. This emotional break down things took a lot out of me. "I want to be your…girlfriend, I think,"

Quil smiled widely, and then bit his lip. His face was suddenly closer than I had thought and he was slowly moving in.

"Please don't pass out," He whispered almost against my lips. He gave me a second, he was giving me the choice I could pull out if I wanted to. I had wanted this though, how many times had I dreamed of his kiss? I filled the void between us. He couldn't possibly turn away from me now. I couldn't crumble anymore anyway. His lips were warm and soft just like his body as it pressed against mine in a hug. He smiled against me and then pulled his face back. "I love you Claire, I always have and I always will."

I smiled, I could like this. I could love this. He picked me up, tucked me into his bed and laid down with me holding me close, but not tightly. He held me just like he was once again letting me put the boundary. Giving me the space, but keeping me close enough. I laid my head on his chest as he watched TV and I fell asleep.

* * *

**Seriously please like this shit.**

**Review? PLEAAAASE! REVIEW!  
**

**Love, Rachel  
**


	9. Kids In Love

**Ello guys...well I'm so sorry I haven't posted in forever, but I'd just like to say...I have swine flu sooo you seriously can't blame me that much. No joke I really have H1N1. Great isn't it? Well either way, I'm sorry for being gone so long. I had homecoming this last weekend so that kept me busy too.**

**Song of The Day:The Ocean - Mae - amazing, amazing & ****Kids In Love - Mayday Parade - is the title  
**

**now please sit back and enjoy the show...**

**

* * *

**I sighed as I found my face pressed against Quil's chest. It was warm and comfortable, it was where I wanted to be forever. His arms were in a loose, but strong lock around my waist and his face was completely relaxed, There were times when Quil could look like the 30 year old he was, which was sort of weird, but then when he laughed or was like this he could look 20 again. He didn't look old like those gross teachers at my school, but more like an actor or a model with his little wrinkles next to his eyes. His bare chest with it's red brown skin was so smooth and soft. It wasn't hairy and nasty which I loved. Most guys would be weird to admit this, but I knew Quil shaved his chest. It made sense now so that he wasn't too hairy when he transformed. I slowly traced his strong muscles when his hand shot out to cover mine.

"Mmm," Quil hummed while he slowly opened his eyes to meet mine. He smiled widely and kissed my forehead. "How long have you been up?"

"Only a while, just taking in your beauty," I said winking with a playful smile. I knew Quil didn't like any compliment that was girly. Things like pretty or beautiful weren't what he wanted to hear. Even still he chuckled a little bit. He pulled our hands ups so they were touching fingers. I marveled at how small mine look compared to his. Both of his knuckles could cover my fingers. He noticed also and pulled me up so he was sitting up and I was in his lap.

"I feel so tiny, like a little kid, compared to you," I said softly. I felt like we had to whisper in the big room by ourselves.

"You sure as hell don't look like a little kid to me," Quil said eyeing where my V neck dipped. "And I'm like a big bear,"

"More like teddy," I said, but it was sort of cute. I thought of what we would look like walking down the streets of Port Angeles or something. He was a foot, if not more, taller than me. It would be sweet like a little girl with her big sexy protector. He pouted for a second, as if offended of the idea of just being a teddy bear. "A sexy teddy bear,"

"That's better. Now I'm starving, you wanna get something to eat?" Quil asked letting me out of his lap and stretching. He didn't bother throwing on a shirt, but I hurried to the bathroom to brush my teeth, take a shower and such. By the time I was out Quil had made eggs and bacon and was shoving waffles into the toaster.

We sat down to eat and Quil dug in eating like he was dying. It was sad how much they all consumed I couldn't imagine Emily's grocery bill. Quil smiled at me as syrup covered most of his mouth.

"You got something…" I said as I leaned in acting like I was going to wipe at his mouth, but I licked off the syrup from the corners of his mouth, but soon his tongue was wrestling with mine as he pulled me to again sit on his lap. We stayed intertwined for what seemed like forever. I only broke away when I became breathless. While he worked his way on my neck I sighed then I felt a little pain, but then a sweet kiss replaced it.

"First hickey from me," Quil said proudly while admiring his work. I looked at him incredulously. "What? What's wrong?"

"I was about to go ask if we could see Emily, but now we can't." I said in defeat. There was no way now, I knew that that hickey was already starting to show and Sam would have both our heads if he saw that and maybe even Quil's amazing lips.

"Oh…I'm sorry. I wish you had said that earlier maybe before you so nicely got the syrup off my mouth." Quil said chuckling. "If you did that every time I ate I think we'd be in a little trouble. I'm already having trouble keeping my hands off of you and we've only been dating for eleven hours."

Dating, wow. He had actually said it. I was a girlfriend girl again. It was different though know. It was Quil I knew him, I knew everything about him, but then I realized there were new things I was going to learn. Like how he kissed and how his body felt against mine. How he thought we should pay for going out on dates and how much time was too much. How they were when they weren't all over you. All those things you had to learn with a new boyfriend.

"Well then maybe if I do it all the time you won't eat so much," I said standing up to put the dishes away.

We hung around for a little while longer, but I really wanted to see Emily so Quil went to take a shower and get dressed. Meanwhile I tried to conceal the massive bite that Quil had left on me, but it was becoming impossible. It seemed like the more concealer I added to it the more it showed. I finally grabbed an old polo and popped the collar.

On the way Quil told me something that I had never heard. It was about my Aunt Emily, about how that scars had really gotten there. When I tried to picture Sam ever hurting Emily, it made me shiver. Quil kissed my hand and promised me I'd never have to worry about anything like that every happening. He'd been pro for so long now that there was such a little chance that he'd ever get so angry to burst.

As we stepped out of the car Quil hid me behind him as he shuffled into the little house. He wanted us to be a surprise as we stepped into the kitchen. Everything looked the same and I heard booming voice from downstairs in the basement, probably the gang playing cards or something. I was so excited to see them, but especially Emily. She would die when she heard everything that had happened.

"Emily!" Quil called as we walked in, I couldn't help but to peak around him a little bit. There was my gorgeous aunt. She had a long sleeved blue shirt on covering most of her scars. Her hair was getting longer past her shoulders now. Her warm smile as she looked at Quil.

"There's someone here who really wants to see you," Quil said pulling me forward, but then pulling me up so I was like a little kid on the side of his hip. I was surprised so I'm sure I looked stupid as my hair flew up all the sudden at his height. It almost made Emily look small. Emily's eye's popped open as she realized who it was.

"Let her down! Let her down!" Emily cried as Quil gently put me back on my feet. Emily grasped me in a tight hug and squeezed. I smiled and returned the hug. I'd missed her so much.

"I'm going to go to talk to the guys while you guys...do whatever you girls do," Quil said chuckling. I thought he was just going to walk away, but he took my hand and pulled me close kissing me quickly before dashing away. Emily's eyes then looked like the were going to fall out.

"I want you to explain everything and don't you dare leaving anything out,"

I smiled and said, "Emily, I think I'm in love with Quil Ateara."

**Quil's POV**

"Well looky here boys, it's the little loner in the flesh!" Sam said chickening as I sat down in at the poker table. Most of the guys were there excluding Brady and Collin. Embry seemed to be at a loss with no chips sitting in front of him anymore. Jared and Paul on the other hand look very happy.

"Yep, I finally found time to crawl out from that rock I live in," I muttered wondering what kind of secrets Claire and Emily were talking about. The taste of her lips were still on mine.

"So what's happened to make you so happy?" Jake questioned and prodded me with his finger. I knew he could tell I couldn't wipe the stupid grin off my face if I had even tried. The whole table soon leaned in like a bunch of gossiping high school girls.

"Claire," I almost whispered as my smile grew. I felt like a stupid little boy with his first little girlfriend. I hadn't been so excited and happy in a long time.

"Man, is she here? I swore I heard her! See didn't I tell you I heard someone else up there?!" Embry said shooting up from his chair, almost tipping it over. I knew he might not have been as excited if he'd been winning the game. He coincidentally tripped on the table on the way up the stairs scattering the chips and cards all over. "Thanks for telling me!"

The guys all raced up the stairs excited to see her again. While Sam and I held back I knew he'd want to say something to me. Probably some change in the rules again.

"Listen Quil I'm happy for you, but," I knew it, I knew he was going to have some exception. "Don't rush this okay? Things have been rough for Claire lately and now throwing her into a relationship it could be hard for her. Just don't take things to fast. She's young, no matter how mature she is."

I nodded swiftly and marched up the stairs finding the boys passing around Claire. She looked at me so happily it made me smile too. She looked so tiny in the company of the guys. Who all towered up her and some of them above me.

"Hi guys!" Claire smiled brightly. I looked to Emily see looked as if she'd been crying, tears of happiness I hoped. "I swear you've grown since last time I was here!"

I laughed and pulled her out of Jake's arm wrapping her around my hip like I had when she was a kid. I couldn't keep my hands off of her. She looked so cute I just couldn't help, but show off a little bit as I kissed her.

"See you're hogging Claire!" Embry said again and then ruffled Claire's hair. "Ah, kiddo, we missed you! It's been a long something like 6 months without you and one constantly crabby Quil Ateara."

"Yeah let's not get into all those details," I said chuckling. It really wasn't funny though. Those longs months were torture for me. It was like someone had told me I'd never see the sun ever again. Even now with her so close to me it felt like she could disappear any second. I held on tight to make sure she was still there and this wasn't some realistic dream. I wanted to keep her near me forever and never go back to where we had been. It still made me cringe thinking about it.

"If you can see I'm not a kid anymore," Claire laughed breezily. She was right and I knew it better than anyone that she was turning into a women. Her hair was getting so long touching past the small of her back and she had gotten…well, devolved in her chest area. She was tiny, true, but a kid definitely not. She put her legs down as Sam walked in and greeted her with a big swooping hug. I felt as if I was back in middle school. I was suddenly wanting all of Claire's attention even though I knew how badly she wanted to see her family. I wanted her to just want me and for that to be enough, she was enough for me. Forever.

"Sam!" Claire squealed as he tickled her sides. He loved her as if she was his own kid. Which is practically was. When he released her she automatically scrambled back into my lap. She smiled at me and batted her eye lashes. Oh man, she was gunna be trouble. I already knew it. I was head over heels in love with this girl as I'd always been, but now she knew it.

"Alright boys, we have to get down to business today sometime." Sam said officially clearing his throat. "We seem to have a loose bloodsucker in the woods,"

* * *

**Let me just say. Oh Damn. haha, well we'll see where that goes(:**

**please review! maybe it'll make me unpiggy!**

**By the way, any of you twitter people? well follow me and send me your's! /racheel18  
**

**Love, **

**Rachel  
**


	10. Saved

**Let me start off by saying I'm a lazy, spoiled teenager. Well that was excuse enough(; Just kidding I do owe you all an apology. I took forever writing this after 3 weeks of swine flu and holidays and crap gets in the way. But I'd like to say I'm getting straight A's by pushing this off!**

**I really do hope you like this...or you may never read my stuff again! D:**

**Songs Of The Day I'm going to explain these.**

**Saved - The Spill Canvas: You'll get it letter obviously. It's also the title.**

**Spit The Dark - Empires: Amazing song, but you have to actually look at the lyrics. It's dark and different and i love them.**

**I Can Feel a Hot One - Manchester Orchestra: It shows the desperation of the whole chapter, it's also my love.**

**

* * *

Quil's POV**

Bloodsuckers, of course, running ramped through the woods. Praying on helpless hikers, families, and what could have been Claire…I thought of her sitting in the road pulled over right next to the forest's edge. If it hadn't been me and there had been blood. She could have been gone. I shivered at the thought which caught Claire's attention as she stared up at me.

Fear wasn't a look that passed her face as Sam explained. She was strong, too strong. She for being new to this didn't have too many questions either. Mostly she sat in my lap looking pretty. As she leaned back on my chest I put my chin on the top of her head.

"Anyway were going to meet up with the whole Cullen clan soon. The time has yet to be decided, but since were on good terms with them so let's keep it that way. Everybody play nice when we go. Got it Paul?" Sam said narrowing his eyes at the very temperamental Paul.

"Oh come on one accidental snap during a training battle and everybody thinks I want to rip their heads off." Paul muttered waving his hand as if swatting away the memory. We all knew it was true though, Paul would love to wrestle with Emmett. He might not want to kill them, but he always wanted to prove that he was superior.

Jacob would be excited to show off Nessie, as he always was when we all got together. Usually Nessie and Jake kept to themselves because of the still weird relationship, but when they were together Jake was unimaginably happy.

We tried to invite the Cullen's to bonfires and such, but it wasn't always easy. Rosalie didn't really like us much and none of us could handle the smell. Edward and Bella were almost worst then Sam and Emily. Also for the rest of the non-imprint crew it wasn't as fun being with a bunch of couples.

As Sam rambled on I could practically hear Claire's brain start thinking of ideas. So when she asked me if she could come along with us I had already weighed the pros and cons.

"Please Quil? You trust them and you trust me and Sam trust them so nothing will go wrong!" She then batted her eyelashes. As everyone talked amongst themselves about our next bonfire and the fun they would have getting in a wrestle with Emmett.

"You just found out about all of this Claire. Can't you just wait for the next meeting? This is a serious thing and it's not a party. We have business to discuss with them." I said sternly. I wanted to wait. I mean I just gotten with her and I didn't want to risk anything taking her away from me. She could go running for the hills once she really realized what we were all about.

"Please Quil…I want everything that you're about, everything that comes with it, and I want to do all these things together. Like Sam and Emily and Jared and Kim!" Claire's face softened. I almost said okay, but then I remembered seeing the image of a terrified Bella when she first got attacked. I never wanted to see Claire go through something like that.

"Next time," I said solemnly. My face was tight and she closed her eyes and blew all her air out of her mouth. She wouldn't look right at me for a minute, but then she laid her face against me.

"Alright."

"You're okay with that?" I asked incredulously. "I thought you'd argue way more."

"I'm going to comply for now, but next time if you don't hold through I'll have to fight you," She smiled lightly hitting my arm. I laughed and kissed her again.

How was I so lucky?

As we gathered that night everything went fine. I suddenly wished Claire was at my side. Although nothing really came of the meeting other then the fact that they didn't know the vampire and that they would keep their eyes out. So we left peacefully as always with a little rough play with the vampire boys. That night I returned to a little Claire Bear wound up in my bed.

A few weeks later…

"Dammit! Guys they got another one! That's 4 people in the last two weeks." Sam yelled pounding his fist down on the table. We gathered once again in their small house and discussed our plan of attack. They had moved closer to town. We'd only got a glimpse of the monster. It was male, no younger then Claire. He also seemed to have a taste for girls. That's when I ruled out Claire getting anywhere close to it.

"We're meeting with the Cullens tomorrow. We have to get a better watch on the little blood suckers." Sam announced after a long phone call. Claire's eyes lit up as she sat next to me poking at the scrapes of her dinner.

"No," I replied answering her unspoken thoughts. Her head snapped up as quick as a bullet. She was already ready for this fight.

"Quil Ateara! You freaking promised me!" Claire cried as I pulled her up to my truck. I didn't want the boys to hear this conversation they'd wouldn't want her to come either and I didn't want her any more upset.

"Did you not listen to a word Sam said?" I yelled back. "This vampire is practically calling for young pretty girls! It matches you perfectly!"

"I'm going to be with nine vampires and ten werewolves! I don't think one vampire is going to get near me!" Claire said firmly. She put her hands on her hips and stuck out her hip, in her typical 'prove me wrong now' fashion.

"I'm not going to get anywhere close to taking the risk that it could," I retorted. I just wish she understood it was for her safety. Not because I didn't want her there. "Young vampires are rouge and stronger then even the Cullens. It's not safe and now's not the time to be upset. This is a very serious case right now."

"When is it not going to be a serious case?" Claire pushed me backwards a little and I found myself against the side of the house. She suddenly got close, as if to kiss me. "When is it ever going to be totally safe?"

When I could breathe again I sucked in a breathe, "Never."

"Exactly, so better now then later," Claire replied gently kissing my neck. I closed my eyes and sighed. She was so close to tricking me again. She wasn't dumb, she knew how to persuade me. "I'd love you forever."

"You will anyway," I smiled a little as she finally reached my lips. "But it's still a no."

"I'd do anything you wanted me too," Claire murmured in a sultry voice. She pressed her hair into my neck and I automatically wrapped my hands around her waist and pulled her up so she was face to face with me.

"No."

**Claire's POV**

Secret 13: Why didn't he want me to go so freaking badly?

**Quil's POV**

"You're a liar."

Claire pushed away and glared at me. She walked to the Beast and slammed the door. As I started the truck she wouldn't look at me and crossed her arms.

"Claire, please just hear me out," I said taking her hand, but she pulled away and looked out the window.

"Just take me home," her voice was like steel.

"You're not staying at my house tonight?" I pulled over on the side of the road taking her chin and forcing her to look at me.

"No, I don't need to be babysat. I'd have to leave tomorrow anyway when you go to you're play date." Claire turned her head out my grasp defiantly.

"Don't be like that. It's just for your safety. I won't leave until late tomorrow anyway. We could get a movie or something, whatever you want to watch. I'll even watch the sappy vampire one with you." I begged.

"How do I know you won't just change your mind when we get to the couch? And if it's just for my 'safety' then why does Emily and Rachel get to go along?" Claire stared at me and I couldn't come up with anything to reply. I sat in defeat. "I just want to go home."

We drove in silence until I pulled up at her house. She hadn't stayed there in weeks. Since her mom didn't care if she stayed over she had practically moved all her stuff to my house. She stared to climb out when I grabbed her hand.

"Hey, I love you Claire." I pulled her back to kiss her, but she was unmoving under me. She was like a little kid after a time out just waiting to get away from the person who had punished them. "I'll call you tomorrow and we can go out to dinner? I'm buying, where ever you want."

"Stop trying to make up for it okay? I'll see you later." Claire retorted walking away, but when she reached her doorway she turned back around. "And…I love you too."

I smiled as I pulled out. I knew she couldn't leave me without telling me.

**Claire's POV**

I woke up late and almost gave up on my plans, but I quickly took a shower and ate lunch. After I sat on my couch for a while and watched NCIS. (That show is my life) I decided to call Quil so I could get my plan in motion.

"Hey wolf boy," I said causally. It was going to work, Quil would never have a clue about it.

"Hey baby girl," Quil said on the other end. "What are you doing?"

"Watching TV, just wondering about our plans tonight. When are you leaving?" I asked trying to see if maybe there was a change he had changed his mind.

"5 so it'll be dark. Then I'll for sure be done by 7 so then I can swing by and get you. Then we can grab little late dinner and a movie back at my place?" Quil asked hopefully. I knew how badly he wanted things mended.

"Sure thing! I'll be here." I replied walking back into my room. I needed darker clothes if this was going to work.

"Alright sweetie, I'll see you then. Love you," Quil almost whispered. It was enough to make me melt even through the phone. When he said it, he always said it with so much meaning.

"I love you too." I said with a smile, "Bye,"

For a second I rethought my plan, but I wanted to prove him wrong. So when 4 hit, I climbed in my car and drove to the woods. It was getting darker and darker every second of my climb through the woods. Sam that night had explained where they would meet. The clearing in the woods and luckily I knew my way there. Jake and Quil used to take me there all the time. As I took the climb I only fell once, but then I saw the clearing. It was prettier then I remembered. Then I saw the figures in two lines. It was them obviously and they all stood talking, it wasn't tense but more like kids talking in the hallway. But all the kids were on steroids and were planning a murder.

I was sort of far away, but I could hear some loud laughing and then a serious tone of a conversation.

"Hello," I heard a voice whisper in my ear. I jumped and fell on the ground. I soon realized it wasn't someone I knew, but a gorgeous pale boy with bright red eyes. It had to be the vampire they were looking for. Then his eyes blazed and he was staring intently down at my hand. When I got down to looking at it, I was bleeding.

The boy had grabbed me and holding me in the air by my arm, which audibly cracked. Then his head snapped to the clearing and he dropped me and my side hit a branch. I tried to get back up, but he pushed me back hitting my head on the same branch. It was all so quick I didn't even realized I screamed.

"Let's make this quick," he lunged for my throat, but was tossed off by a huge being, which wasn't a werewolf but a huge man. He had gold eyes, but was as pale as the younger vampire.

"CLAIRE!" I recognized Quil's voice yelled. I tried to turn to find him, but then I felt myself start slipping down the hill. The big man tried to grab my hand, but it was covered in blood and he quickly released it. I slid down the hill when I saw the boys at the top as I turned on my stomach to see them. I tried to get back up only to fall again scrapping me forearms.

"Claire! Please get up, please run!" Quil yelled at me as he bound down the hill. I kept sliding though it seemed every time he took I step I slid a foot down.

I realized why when the younger vampire once again seized me. He took another lung at me in which I kicked him in the side, but it was as if he didn't feel it.

"Help me," was all I could manage to say.

Then I heard the burst and a huge furred beast passed me taking the boy. Then I fell to the ground and my head slammed on the dirt floor. I closed my eyes while the sounds of snapping and tearing surrounded me. From what I gathered before I passed out was that there was more then the one boy.

I vaguely remembered being picked up by a warm body and that was it.

**Quil's POV**

My head snapped to where we all heard the scream. Emmett and Edward were the first to get there to which they turned around to signal us. We heard a yelp and a hard noise hitting the ground.

Then I saw her, Claire, my Claire. She was on the ground bleeding from her hand and side. Emmett tried to grab her, but when he realized her hand was covered with blood he had to let go. I raced to her yelling her name. I almost burst then, but I was too shocked by watching her little body try to get back up and fall again. I yelled for her to get up and run away even though I knew it would help as I sprinted down the hill, but she kept sliding and the monster kept getting closer. Then she got grabbed again and hoisted into the air.

Then she let out the most heartbreaking, helpless sentence I'd ever heard, "Help me."

Then I burst, something I hadn't done in ages. I grabbed the vampire by the neck and ripped him to shreds myself, but then the others called that his mate had come to help him. The others quickly too her down.

Claire had already passed out on the ground. I gently lifted her to my arms. She was lifeless and bruised. I let the silent tears roll down my face. I couldn't protect her. I wasn't able to save her when she needed me. She was broken and bloody and it was because of me. If I'd only get her come with us. I cried more when I replayed the events that had just occurred.

I sat in the back of the jeep as Carlisle took her to his hospital. I sat silently as they gave the diagnosis. I didn't speak, eat, or even fidget while they took her into surgery and stitched her up. I didn't fight as they all signed her cast while she was still out. I called her mom and assured her Claire was okay and would be out soon. I stayed for two days while she was still out of it without shower or changing. I slept next to her until she woke up and touched my face.

Claire's POV

I blinked and blinked again. I felt like I couldn't feel my body except the warm thing pressed against me. I turned my head, not without wincing, to find Quil. I tried to lift my hand ,he wasn't holding, to touching his face, but it felt heavy and disconnected. I looked at it, it was bound in a cast which was blue and already written on. I could barely make out the scribbles.

'You look like a feaak!' 3 Embry

I'm sure I did. My side still hurt and my whole body had a general ache. I could feel the pound of my head. My legs were only bruised from what I could see under the gown. I'm sure my torso was a mess and I had no clue upon what my head was like.

I could feel my other hand though warm safe and secure. I pulled it away to lay it on Quil's cheek. He jerked awake and then looked at me. He smiled weakly.

"You're finally awake." Quil leaned forward and rested his lips against my forehead. "You are so fucking stupid."

"I'm sorry." I whispered back sincerely. "I didn't even imagine that what happened could of. But maybe…if you had just taken me he wouldn't of found me in the woods."

"And still as stubborn as hell," Quil chuckled.

"I just wanted to prove you wrong, to show I would be okay if I went out and met you."

"And to think if you had just wanted less then two hours, I would have come pick you up and we'd have gotten dinner and a movie." Quil said wrapping both arms around me.

"I'll listen to you from now on." I slowly got more comfortable trying not to hurt anymore.

"That's exactly why I didn't want you to go, but I guess if you hadn't of done that you wouldn't be the girl I know and love." Quil sighed running his fingers through my hair. "And if things hadn't turned out the way they did you might not still be here…and I couldn't handle that. But to be fair I won't break anymore promises."

I sat unmoving for a while. "How bad is it?"

"The damn monster broke your arm and two of your ribs. You sliced your hand and the back of your neck. You had major blood loss, but luckily were both A+," Quil said proudly holding up his elbow which had a pink band aid on it. "Now I'm truly in you!"

I laughed, but it made my sides hurt. Then I cried for a while and Quil just sat there and held me. He understood I needed time. I let it all go, everything I didn't want to remember any of it. I wanted to erase all of it and go out with Quil for dinner and a movie. I didn't want to fight over it. I didn't want to hurt.

"Claire the reason I didn't take you is because…I didn't want something like this to scare you away from me.. .because honestly this is how it can be. Scary, dark, and deadly. I didn't want you to run away from me." Quil said almost ashamed.

I nodded, "If this is what you're in for…so am I. We're partners, if you jump I jump. I told you I want everything about you and I meant it."

"You are my everything Claire Elise."

I'm holding my breath. Did you like it?

PLEASE REVIEW! PLEASE REVIEW! PLEASE REVIEW!

I LOVE YOU MORE THAN A FAT KID LOVES CAKE!

Love,

Rachel.


	11. All Over You

**Hola mi amigos! Como estas? Ha, well that's all I've learned in Spanish. I have finals in the next two weeks so I really wanted to get this posted quick. **

**I got some reviews on the last, but the more the merrier right? and the merrier type fast then the sad. Sooo**

**Let's take it from the top!**

**Song of the Day:**

**Part 1 - All Over You - The Spill Canvas **

**Part 2 - Daughters - John Mayer**

**

* * *

****About a Year Later**

I absolutely loved Christmas and everyone that knew me knew that. Throughout all of December I'd listen to Christmas music and make anyone in the car sing with me. Since we lived in the most rainy part of the continental U.S. it snowed, a lot . I didn't like cold, but I loved snow and with Quil being my own personal space heater I was usually warm enough. My mom hadn't been home, but once in every two or so weeks so I had brought a medium sized tree to Quil's house for us to decorate.

"It makes it feel like it's really our house." I told Quil when he asked why it mattered so much to me. I had always dreamed of the time when I'd get to decorate my own house with Christmas things and this was as close as I was going to get for a while.

"You know it _is_ our house though," Quil said putting the angel on the top of the tree without a ladder. To make it even more special for me he'd made a fire in the fireplace and made hot chocolate. Embry was asleep in his room and for once they weren't running patrol. A new vampire had been spotted, but hadn't actually been killing many people.

"But all my mail's still getting sent to my house and most of my stuff is over there other then clothes." I replied hanging a gold ornament before stepping off the ladder to admire my work. We hung lights on the outside of the house and the tree was visible from the street which gave the house a warm glow.

Quil came up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist, and pulled me back against him on the couch.

"You've done good little elf." He whispered kissing my neck. I squirmed to turn around and face him. His face was so calm so much more relaxed then I'd seen him in a long time, especially after the accident. I'd healed up fast because I had a good immune system, but Quil had been a very good doctor kissing every bruise and scar I had. My arm was only in a sling for another month, but I didn't have to wear it all the time and my rib cage had to be wrapped up for the month too.

"Why thank you Santa."

"Ha I can't be Santa I'm not that fat, and if I was then I'd be having an affair with you. Mrs. Claus wouldn't be to happy about that." I giggled a little and then stared at the fire. "You know it's a great thing you've done this. As unexcited Embry seemed he loves Christmas too and I know he'll be really excited we actually have stuff this year,"

"I'm glad. Spreading Christmas joy is my only purpose in life!" I said triumphantly bounding up out of his arms giggling and spinning around. Quil followed and kissed me under the newly hung mistletoe.

Quil and I decided to go shopping in Port Angeles for Christmas presents and then that night the wolf pack was going out for a little Christmas bar hoping. Port Angeles was lit up with lights and tied together with red, white, and gold ribbons. Snow was falling and it was a complete movie scene. Quil and I were strolling the sidewalks arms linked and the other with bags. It was getting darker and we were supposed to go to the bar to meet the boys. We grabbed some dinner to keep us ready for the night ahead of us and Quil agreed to let me drink a little as long as I was with him.

We stuffed our presents and coats in the Beast before running into the bar. This time I got no trouble from the bounce since I was surrounded by 6 foot or taller men. We entered it seemed everybody decided to come out for a party tonight. It was dark and crowded and people's faces were blurred already. I pulled Quil into the pit of dancers.

"Wanna dance?" I asked suggestively pressing my hands against his chest. I'd never seen this side of Quil, the more guy part of him. He didn't really drink around me often other then beer or the occasional shot with Embry. I couldn't imagine what he was likein a bar when he had already imprinted on me and I actually wanted to know.

"Sure babe," Quil replied quickly flipping me around so my back was to him. He actually could dance as he moved and put his hands on my hips moving me with him. He guided me gently for a while to the rhyme and dipped me occasional or spinning me in circles. His hands roamed my sides. I felt myself start to sweat in my jeans and T-shirt because of Quil's body heat.

I couldn't help but to ask now that it was on my mind, "Did you ever do this when I wasn't able to be with you?"

He chuckled, "Yes I did dance, Claire, but you know there was never any attraction in it for me."

"I'm sure they were excited to say the least," I told him leaning back and arching my back away from him. As we swayed and ours hips moved against each other I felt both of our needs.

Quil and I hadn't really discussed sex or anything other then making out. I didn't know if he even wanted to, I mean I knew most guys did, but Quil didn't ever want me to feel pressured by him. I wanted to I wanted to be with Quil in every why that I knew. Quil was double my age, but he still looked like he had just turned 19. He had still issues that he'd never admit to me about my age. He did think I was young, but I didn't care I wanted to be with him and regardless of the difference I knew he loved me.

After a few drinks and more dances Quil pulled me out of the crowd. Both of our bodies hot and sweating the moment was already intense and I was excited when he began pulling me close. I let Quil pulled me out to Jake's bike. It was obvious that we both were ready to get out of the club and be alone, he didn't have to ask. Quil handed me his leather coat and a helmet then we sped off. I held on tight as we made a usual hour and a half trip in 45 minutes.

Quil took my hand and led me into the house and I followed him. Not even a minute after entering the threshold he grabbed me kissing me intensely. We staggered and tried to walk without breaking the kiss. Finally Quil lifted me up so my legs were around his waist. We found our way to our bed and he laid us down there.

We were tangled in each other and completely in rapture with each other. I lift my hands to touch his taut stomach and lifted his shirt off while he pulled off my jeans and left me in my boxer shorts and T-shirt. I ran my hands over his broad back and moaned as he bit my neck.

Then he sighed and rolled over, "Claire we have to stop."

I rolled over him so I was straddling him, which just made him groan more. "Why?"

"You're only 17 and we're just not ready for this. Sex is a big deal Claire. For some couples it can make or break the relationship, even when we're talking about us." Quil explained. "I already made a promise to myself that I wouldn't do that with you until you're ready and you're not ready yet."

"Do I get a say in when I'm ready?"

"Of course, hun." Quil said patting the spot next to him motioning for me to lay down next to him. I did as I was asked. "I want your first time to be meaningful."

"How many times have you had sex, Quil?" I asked propping up on my elbow.

"Oh well you know…if high school I was part of the in crowd and uh it was hard to fight off all the girls," Quil smirked to which I hit his bicep. "Only 3 times Claire, but those were before I ever knew about you."

"Okay," I leaned in a kissed him one last time. "Goodnight, I love you Quil."

"I love you too Claire."

"Claire Elise Young." a stern voice yelled through the threshold of my door. I lifted my head from Quil's chest to look at the person. It was my dad was standing in my room his mouth pressed in a tight line. He looked the same as he has from almost two years ago. Still tall, a solid build, Carmel colored hair, green eyes, and a glaring look. "What in the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Dad! What are you doing here?!" Quil hearing me say Dad shot out up and out of my bed. He sheepishly smiled and stood awkwardly on the other side of the room. He just stood looking at the floor.

"You are the who needs to be answering questions." my father said in a constricted voice. I thought how maybe he'd try to hit Quil or something, but then I thought of Quil. My father couldn't do him any harm unless he had a gun.

"Dad…this is Quil, my boyfriend." I said. trying to calm him down as I got on a hoodie. I knew my father must have been even more appalled at the fact I was only wearing shorts and a cami, but if he only knew how freaking hot Quil's skin was. I didn't even need a comforter.

"I told Marley that her being in the city so much would have a bad influence on you! And Callie always bringing boys back to the house look what kind of things you do here!" My dad slammed his hand on my desk and I jumped a little. Quil gave me a glance, but I knew he couldn't do anything. "Claire I thought you were going to be the good child, the one I wouldn't have to worry about doing this stuff!"

"Dad! I wasn't even doing anything with Quil and it's not like you would even know about me! You left when I was like two! Mom has been doing just fine bringing me up and I don't need you're criticism. Seeing as you cheated on Mom in your guys bed and then you cheated on Abigail too. So don't even give me your bullshit." I yelled back at him. I hated the way whenever he came to visit he made me feel like a child. Dumb and weak.

"You need to watch was you say Claire. I'm not bringing up the past-"

"It's because you know I'd be right!" I interrupted him and he started at me with a blank face as he regained his composure. He sighed and acted as if he I was having a temper tantrum.

"I see this situation has got more out of hand then I thought it was. Which is why I'm here, actually." My father said smoothing his hair which was starting to show a little grey on the sides.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I questioned. My dad could make up crazy plans and would force it upon us. As he had the summer, he decided Callie and I come stay with him in the Hampton's with Abigail, Auden, Addison, and Andrew. That was the summer my dad found out Callie had practically slept around with everyone in La Push and that she had an amazing ability to sneak boys in at early hours of the morning. Also that's when Abigail found him in a compromising position with his young maid. My dad was a power hungry bastard. He was the CEO of some big New York company. I wasn't sure what it even was, just that it was funding my life.

"I've always been concerned about you being here with Callie ,being the wild child she is, and Marley never being around. I don't think this is the way you should be having your high school years…" He said trailing off. "And I've just recently found out that I'll have to be staying in New York for a new business deal which will take a lot of time so I bought the other half of the top floor of 994 on Fifth Ave. So I can stay in New York and I decided that you should come stay with me for a while. The people who own the other half have a daughter close to your age…Van der Waldorf..I think, or something close to that."

I was in shock. I looked at Quil who looked about as confused as I was. I rushed over to him reflexively he put his arm around my waist and I laid my head against his chest. I glared at my father.

"I'm not leaving." I retorted, trying to not cry. He knew I was going to, but I hated showing any weakness to him. I didn't want to let him see that he affected me and that he could still control me. It wasn't any fair.

"I've already discussed this with Marley. Although she doesn't see eye to eye with me I could take this to legal court and get you under my guardianship. Claire this will be for the best. It'll only be for the rest of the school year. It'll be 5 or 6 months at most, you like big cities and New York will give you so much more opportunity then La Push. You need to get out and grow. You're going to experience things that some people around here never will."

"I'm not leaving," I repeated.

"That's too bad Claire, whether you want to get a grip on this concept or refuse to you're coming with me in three days." He said walking out of the room and slammed the door.

Then I cried and Quil just held me with a blank stare on his face. He patted my hair and kissed my hair and whispered he loved me over and over again.

"Claire he's right, you're going to see things that a lot of people around here will never see. I've never been to a city like that, hell, the biggest place I've been is Seattle." Quil said soothingly as we laid on my bed. He ran his hands up and down my legs and I could never imagine being away from him.

"But 5 months! I don't think I could be away from you that long," I replied pressing my face into his neck. I wished that I could have changed everything. I wish my dad was uncaring and didn't bother me. I wouldn't even mind if he didn't get me things. I just wish he'd disappear. I hated him.

"I know Claire Bear, but we can't do anything about it…"

* * *

**At the end of these I'm always praying that you like this.**

**So Please tell me, please, please, please, review.**

**Love,**

**Rachel**


	12. Lua

**Yeah I'm a bitch I know. I've been really busy and trying to get back on track. So without further ado.**

**Song of the Day: Lua by Bright Eyes, amazing song.**

* * *

"I didn't mean to fall in love with someone else." I told Quil honestly, as we sat on a bench in Central Park. It was lit up for the latest charity ball in the park. From afar I suppose we could have looked like a fairy tale couple, but things had changed. "I never wanted to hurt you, but I couldn't just call you and tell you over the phone. You deserve way more then that, way more then this pitiful conversation. I guess I should tell you what happened since it's been almost 4 months since we've had a real conversation."

"Yeah… I guess you should." Quil retorted. I couldn't blame him for being angry. I was angry at myself for hurting him, but I couldn't control how I felt no matter how much I still loved him. He was still in love with Claire Young from La Push, but me, who I was now, was a very different Claire.

Everything had changed and there was no going back.

"Begin and the beginning and then go on till you come to the end: then stop." Quil quoted in a futile attempt to make me smile.

"Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, my favorite…but I should get to the point."

"Yeah…I guess you should."

Leaving La Push had seemed like the hardest thing of my life, until I actually got to Manhattan. I suddenly was abandoned, my father was as absent as he had been in my childhood, and the family who was supposed to help me settle in while he was on business trips was insane. The mother and the father openly had sex with other people, the girl my age was a drug dealer and a heroin addict, and the youngest brother constantly masturbated. I avoided them like the plague. My dad had bought the other half of the flat 994 Fifth Avenue. It had fifteen bedrooms and white gloved doormen. I was handed 4 credit cards and told not to get caught having sex, doing drugs, or getting bad grades. My father enrolled me at Constance Billiard, an elite girls' private school. The school was connected with St. Jude's an all boys school. Needless to say, lunch was always interesting.

I was accepted into the 'popular crowd' because I came from money and I wasn't a drug addict, criminal, prostitute, or fat. Blair and Serena ruled the school. I mostly just hung around them so I'd have someone to talk to, but the only one who was genuine was Nate. He was worldly, smart, kind, and charming. The biggest player around with his good looks and lacrosse toned body. When he told me he liked me I brushed it off and laughed calling Quil to say how I'd caught some boys attention up here. Sadly though, Quil was on almost 24/7 vamp watch. He was never able to make a trip up here and soon it go to where he could hardly talk on the phone. He always apologized and I knew it wasn't his fault, but when things started to get rough I was lonely.

My dad was framed in a drug deal and a murder. Ridiculous rumors were spread everywhere. 'Big Business Young Wealthy and Now Turned Killer?' Were the headlines, but my father was framed by a competing company. Things were bad though, cameras everywhere and long nights alone in a big empty flat. I had taken to drinking frequently. I was usually wasted roaming the city. The two months I was alone. I walked into the worst parts of the city and hit on my the worst kind of people. I was lost and scared. Quil wasn't there to protect me anymore. I was on my own for the first time ever. When I wasn't tipsy I walked by myself and thought about things a lot and how much I hated who I had been. Foldable, bendable into the person people wanted me to be. I thought about how much I hated my dad and then I didn't hate him at all. I thought about how much I hated myself. Then I drank and then I woke up and did the same thing again. I went to school and studied, came home to an empty flat, then I walked the city, got wasted, and went to sleep. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Until I met Nate one night at a bar.

I was drunk and sick and he carried me to a cab and took my inside. He held my hair back and made me soup while I was sick. Nate could walk or take a cab then be over in 5 minutes flat and he usually was. Nate was nothing but a friend at the beginning, a sweet pretty boy. He asked about Quil politely, never over stepping his boundaries. We talked about everything and anything and soon I realized how close we really were. Then as it rolled to be around the 2nd month Quil stopped answering and I stopped calling. I would cry sometimes and of course I missed him, but then Nate would call for a sushi night and a walk in Times Square. He never put a move on me and never dated anyone else. We spend almost all our time together now. Blair and Serena were initially jealous and angry that he'd sort of settled down to hang out with me, but soon became used to it. I was surprised that he never asked for anything more, but I loved it. I loved that he never expected anything and I loved how I was never bored. It wasn't ever the same routine. We'd go to Central Park when it got warm and feed ducks or watch people go by then the next weekend we'd drive to Brooklyn to see a great band and have good food. He wasn't the spoiled rich boy that I thought he was.

Quil and I played phone tag for weeks and few calls got through, but they consisted of:

"Hey, I miss you."

"Hey I miss you too."

"Only a couple more months."

"Yeah I know. Well how are you?"

"Good, but sorry hun, Sam's yelling at me to go take my shift. I'll try to call later?"

"Tomorrow's better. I'm going out tonight."

"Oh okay, love you."

"Love you too."

Then it was over. He usually didn't call the next night and I didn't try to reach him. I did feel incredibly guilty. I knew while he was sleeping and then running all over town hunting while I was out with Nate drinking Cosmos at a bar.

My father's case finally got closed up in the beginning of May, my 5th month. I was set to leave in June, but now I wasn't so sure if I wanted to go or not. I loved New York. I loved the fashion and the people. I loved the noise and the lights. I loved walking to tiny coffee shops and going to book stores. I loved going to see bands. I loved getting sushi. I loved sitting in Central Park. I loved sitting by the fountains. I loved the fact that I had realized I only loved those things because I was with Nate. Then I realized that if it wasn't for Nate I wouldn't have loved anything. I would have hated New York. I would have called Quil every night and cried and begged him to come see me. I would have sat alone at the flat listening to music. I wouldn't have become friends with the populars. I would have gone home the same person I had been, but maybe a little more grateful.

When I realized that, who else but Nate knocked on my door. He was smiling and he chuckled as he gave me a hug. I breathed in his warm smell and felt his hand on my waist. I smiled back and laughed too, even though nothing had happened. Then we both just knew. I could tell that he knew by the way he smiled. I was euphoric and so was he. We stood in my door way smiling for minutes, just staring at each other.

"Can I, uh, kiss you?" Nate asked sheepishly smiling. At first I wanted to just press my lips against his, but I knew it was wrong. Something was still tugging at my heart. I couldn't do this to him.

"Not yet, I can't cheat on Quil. I have to talk to him." I said. I knew I had to. I couldn't just return home and pretend that I hadn't completely fallen for someone else. Nate didn't deserve that and Quil definitely didn't.

"So here we are." I said feeling as awkward as ever. I didn't know if he was going to cry or scream or phase. For once I had no idea who this person in front of me was. I had didn't have a clue as to what to say or do next.

Quil was crying, but I knew he didn't want to bawl in the middle of everyone. I thought that I should have taken him back to the flat, but Nate might had shown up and that wouldn't of been good. I sat frozen as he looked at me for a long time.

"So that's it huh?" Quil asked flatly, wiping his eyes and then staring at the people walking by.

"I guess…but Quil you have to know. If things had been even a little bit different. If you hadn't had to be on patrol and if we could have talked more and if I was a better person and… I'm just really sorry. I wish I could take it all back, I want to make you happy still. I want to just go back to where we were last year, but I can't take it back. I can't just change what I feel. I don't want to lose you and I know that's selfish of me and you can do whatever you want. You could hate me forever, but I need you to know that I would never have cheated on you and that I'll…I'll always love you." I stammered out.

"Ha, I guess you already know that I always will too." Quil said frustrated. I didn't want to cry and on top of that, I didn't have the right to. "I guess I'll still be here for a week though. If you don't mind, I doubt you'll see me, but my flight doesn't go back until next Monday."

"If you really want to leave I can buy you a ticket…" I replied softly. If he really couldn't stand me being around I would let him leave. It was the very least I could do him.

"I can deal as long as I don't have to see you with…him."

"He's really nice Quil." I tried to point out. "You'd like him if…the situation was different."

"I guess, but uh…," Quil stood awkwardly. "I'll see ya whenever the big city gets to big for you."

He started to walk away and I felt heartbroken. I had cut him up. I had left him. He didn't even have a choice. He was tied to me forever and he couldn't ever be the same. Before I knew what I was doing I was running behind him. I faced his back as I hit him. I didn't care if he hugged back and I didn't care as long as he didn't push away, which he didn't.

I held on and tight. Quil didn't turn around and he didn't move. I wrapped my arms around his waist and squeezed.

"I'm sorry, so so sorry. You don't understand how much I don't want to do this, but you loved who I was and I'm different now. I'm a selfish, bad person and you deserve someone so much better then me. And I'm sorry that you're stuck with me."

"It was worth it while it lasted." Quil looked back to give me a half hearted smirk. I took his hand and kissed his burning warm skin and then I let him go. I watched him walk away from me. I sat down on the bench and watched him go. I exhaled all my fears and thoughts. It had gone better then I thought.

I knew in my heart that I'd always be Quil. He'd always be the one I craved for. He'd always be the one to really save me. He'd always have my heart, but I needed this. I needed to be my own person and have something not magical. I wanted to not always know that the person was going to forgive me and love me. I didn't want to always know I'd be safe and sound. It was exciting, but I honestly knew that Quil was always going to be the one.

My phone tinged and broke my reverie. It was Nate.

"I'm just around the corner from Central want me to come get you? We could grab a late bite? (:"

I stood and wiped my eyes and watch Nate turn the corner and smile at me. He was walking at first and then running at me. He picked me up and kissed me under all the those lights and the city's sound. That's when the flood broke.

* * *

**Told you I was bitch(: But if you review you'll be so much more happy because I already have the next chapter ready!**

**Love, even though you probably hate me,**

**Rachel  
**


	13. Little House

**Hey. So yeah I know the last chapter was a big turn, but I do have to be honest I was a little angry. People gave me a lot of crap for Quil being with someone else, which when I looked back was completely impossible. Part of the reason I rewrote this, but now when something legitimately possible could happen. I get like death threats and people just giving up on my story completely. ****I cut out most of any Gossip Girl stuff, because when I look back that was a bad idea too. So it's a whatever deal, if you don't wish to read this anymore then don't, but somethings just don't need to be said.  
**

**And some people were just completely rude, so thanks all. This is a chapter to clear up things.**

**SOTD: Little House - Amanda Seyfried, soo cute.**

**

* * *

****Quil's POV**

When I saw her I knew something was different. She was thinner if that was possible and looking even better. I threw my arms around her, but she didn't look very happy. She was dressed like I'd never seen her in overly fancy clothes, but trashy looking band bracelets up her arms. She smiled faintly and I asked what was wrong. Then it hit me. She wasn't happy because she had something to say.

When she talked I felt as though I didn't know her, which was true. When she said that I had fallen in love with someone else she was right. This new Claire wasn't someone I knew well, but I still loved her. She was honest and strong. She was brilliant and more grown up.

I didn't want to love her as she told me the story. I felt terrible as I realized we hadn't talked in so long. She was right. Sam had kept us running for months looking for the vampire who almost got Emily. We were on constant patrol and when I wasn't I was sleeping. I tried to call her, but often she was at school or at a loud concert. Then when we did talk we didn't have much to say. They were dry, short conversations totaling in nothingness.

Then all was lost. She loved someone else. Claire, my Claire, loved Nate. A guy who had only been a friend in the months before we'd lost contact. She didn't want to leave New York. She wasn't going to run into my arms anymore and kiss me. I'd heard about wolves not always staying with their imprints, but never did I ever think it'd be me and Claire. We were perfect, everything had been perfect 6 months ago.

When she talked about how she didn't want to hurt me, I believed her. She couldn't control who she was, but I couldn't help but feel sad and angry. If it weren't for all these little things we could have still been together. If I hadn't been so busy, if her father hadn't gotten framed, all these little mistakes added up, the odds were just stacked against us.

I was relieved mostly that she hadn't cheated on me. Claire had the decency to do it in person and at least not lie. That's why I loved her and even as I walked away from her I loved her more. I loved her for being sincere and being who she was. I loved her for telling me she was sorry again. I loved her for offering for me to get the hell out of the town. I loved her even when she walked up to who I assumed was Nate.

Then I phased.

I saw Claire once more before I left. It was short and sweet. She told me that she was once again sorry and that she hoped I understood that she needed her room to grow. I did want to understand, but I didn't understand why I couldn't be there to grow with her. I would have picked up and moved to New York if that's what she really wanted, but she didn't. She wished me well and told me once more that she loved me. I hugged her tight and boarded my flight.

I kept going as if I'd never gone up there. The boys knew something was wrong as soon as we phased the first time. I constantly thought about her just like I had before I'd gone to see her. They didn't ask and I didn't tell. I told a brief summary to Emily and Sam, but as soon as their hushed whispers of love came from the other room I didn't feel like talking anymore.

I didn't ever see her mother or her sister. I moved most of her stuff back to her house. I didn't do much anymore. I went on patrol, went to pack meetings, slept, and repeat.

Three months went by quickly. I was pulling up into my house at night when I saw the TV on again. I walked in about was about to bitch Embry out again for leaving it on when I saw someone laying on my couch. She was wound up in a ball watching NCIS laughing as DiNozzo got hit in the back of the head again. I thought she didn't hear me as I walked in and at first I thought I was delusional.

"I hope you don't mind. I can leave if you'd like, but I thought you'd want to hear me out." Claire said without looking away from the TV. She wasn't crying or sad, she seemed happy and calm. It seemed almost normal to walk in and see her there. For a moment I was astonished, but I gathered myself and sat down on the other side of the couch. Her dress only barely covered her knees and her legs were smooth and tan. She'd put back on a few pounds it seemed, only making her look better then the skinny girl I'd seen in New York. She was more filled out now and more curvy. Her hair was even longer now and as I looked my way up her body her green eyes smiled at me.

"You should really move that key to somewhere new, everyone in the goddamn town must know where it is by now." Claire said laughing. My house key had been under the potted plant for a good 5 years now and I had no intent of moving it.

"Maybe," I replied. I wanted to know why she was here or better if she was really here. It almost seemed like a dream from when I was a teenager. A beautiful girl suddenly appearing in my living room and then we'd…well a guy can dream right?

She laughed awkwardly, "Well, story time again, right?" I nodded.

"I left you in New York and I did do it on purpose. I wasn't confused or angry at you and I wasn't looking for attention or trying to break your heart. I needed to grow up and I did. I needed to have a real life without someone always protecting me. I needed to see what a normal life was. I felt so trapped. I felt like if I came back I'd be like my dad. Trapped in a small town doing the same thing every night and being with you just waiting for you to come home every damn night." She said frustrated almost as if the thought made her angry. "I hated that, I never wanted my life to be like a 9 to 5 job. I couldn't stand thinking that I'd be cooking dinner for you every night hoping and praying you came home. In some ways I guess I was running away. I didn't want to think what would happen if you didn't come back one night because then I wouldn't have anyone. I didn't know how to be on my own. You had never not been there for me even in those months we didn't talk, I could have always come back to you. I always had someone keeping me safe and protecting me."

"How did New York change any of that!? You had Nate with you then!" I almost yelled now angry that she was being a hypocrite.

"You aren't letting me finish." Claire said calmly. "Once you left. I stayed with Nate for 2 weeks and then I left him too. He was almost as safe as you were. While you could literally protect me, his money and status could keep me out of any problems. I left my dad's flat, but left all my things there. I wanted to be independent, I even got a job. I tried to use my dad's money as a last resort when I didn't have any money. I gained like 10 pounds of muscle from walking every where instead of taking a taxi. I probably almost gained 10 pounds from eating fast food every day because that's all I could freaking afford."

"You're saying you pretty much lived in New York like a homeless person?" I asked. I couldn't ever picture sweet Claire sleeping on a bench in the park.

"I had some friends I stayed with in Brooklyn and took the metro into Manhattan. I was almost all the way out on my own, but I was lonely. Nate called a lot because he didn't understand why I needed to do this. He didn't get it and I realized he never would. He and I were so alike in so many ways and I did love him, but he would never fully understand me so he could never really love me. He didn't get why I couldn't be happy with this lush, safe silver spoon life."

I nodded. I wanted to understand and in some ways I guess I did, but I wanted to listen.

"I saw him twice before I left and some things did make me want to stay. I loved New York and everything about it compared to La Push, it was on like steroids. But then everyday when I walked with my music playing I thought about you."

I smiled a little, but held back because there could always be a turn. This new Claire was somebody who was unpredictable and undecipherable.

"I listened to John Mayer and thought about you playing the guitar for me. I really did want to call, but I knew I had no right too. I thought about you a lot."

Then I really smiled.

"But I guess I should get to the point. I've had my adventure, I've done what I wanted to do, I've had all my fun and you were right, the city got too big for me. So now I'm here and I'm asking to come back home and I'm asking you to forgive me and take me back. I'll understand if you don't, but I've already had Embry help move all my stuff back into my room so that I wouldn't tell you that he did leave the TV on, again."

I stood for a minute thinking. There was really no point I thought. Because even if I said no I know I'd be lying and that I would take her back as soon as I could. I couldn't resist her. If I said no I'd just be in heartbreak longer too and she had already told me that she was done. She was ready to come home. I was home for her.

She stood and started to walk out. My hand shot out as a reflex and grabbed her arm pulling her back to me. She was still so tiny that she couldn't reach my face with heels on. I pulled her up to face me and instinctively her legs wrapped around my waist. We were puzzle pieces and then we completely fit together when she kissed me.

Then I knew. Nothing absolutely nothing could keep me away from her. It felt like I was really falling in love with her. I had always loved her and I had thought I had been in love with her because of the undeniable force that made me. Now I really knew, that she had been right. If she had never gone I would have never really known how much I needed her. She would have just been my imprint someone who I was forced to love. Now she was someone that I loved and wanted to love me back and that I couldn't live without. Someone I was in love with.

We stayed like that for a long time.

"I guess that's a yes." Claire smiled against my forehead. "I love you Quil Ateara."

"I love you too Claire Elise Young."

* * *

**There ya go.**

**Please review,**

**Love,**

**Rachel.**

**(P.S. I might post someone reading a few of Claire's little speachs because I feel like this person really talks and expresses Claire's words the way I want them to sound. Intrested? Please tell me.)  
**


	14. When It Rains

**Ello Lovers. Or maybe not because I haven't updated in 3 months...sorry:/ my sister had her baby though! 2 months early, but she's healthy. Let's see what else has happened, oh I got elected President of my Sophomore Class(: And anyway you're probably pissed at me, so without further ado.**

**Song of the Day: When It Rains by Paramore**

* * *

**Quil's POV**

I thought that I had been right and I thought she had been being sincere when she told me those things. I thought that when I felt like I was really falling in love with her I meant it. I started to wonder if she regretted her own words. I started thinking more and wondering if what I'd done the was the right thing to do. I wondered if I should have let her be alone for a while and see if it was me she really wanted. I thought maybe I'd taken her back to soon and all she wanted was the chase, the thrill. Maybe I should have thought about my self preservation a little and not been so quick to let her back in. I let her have her distance for a while, but then she became withdrawn and absent minded. I thought to myself I had been right, that she didn't really want me. She was quite and always looked a little sad. I worried, but I didn't know how to help or what to do. She almost seemed…depressed and I couldn't help but to think it was because she was back in La Push, with me.

I howled while I thought about it, but then I just bolted across the forest, leaving my thoughts behind me. All I could feel was the wind and the dirt beneath me, I knew for a while that was all I would need. I just needed time to think, but it was soon

**Claire's POV**

I felt lost, like I was drowning. It'd been three weeks since I returned to La Push. I couldn't stop these fears from coming to my mind. I couldn't stop thinking that Quil was going to change his mind. I felt like a stranger, uncomfortable and awkward. Something that I'd never been. Quil had immediately let me back in. He didn't need a week or even another day to decided. I wondered if he regretted his decision because suddenly there was some space between us. This weird tension and we both knew it was there. In my whole life I had never imagined this between the two of us. We were always the ones who were meant to be together. Now he turned away from me like I meant nothing to him.

Even the pack didn't want me here. Only Emily and Sam seemed to care about my return. Jake and Embry were polite, but not the same. Leah and Paul enjoyed making snide comments every time I went over, so soon I stopped going. I called Emily and told her how I felt, but even she had her reservations about my return. I felt so betrayed I couldn't believe it, my caring, loving aunt didn't want me to be here. That was it, I started to think leaving. I even called some of my old friends in Brooklyn to see what they were doing, but I couldn't leave again. That would just prove them right and would mean I would probably lose Quil forever. Despite our current issues I didn't want to lose him forever.

Quil was out running patrol, which he had seemed to be doing since I'd returned. He never had time for me and was always making excuses to leave. Since he knew I didn't enjoy going to see the Pack he often said he had meetings. I watched every single episode of N.C.I.S and I walked through the woods a lot. I had to get away.

"I wish I could just turn back time," I said under my breath as I sat in the sand at the beach. The beach was empty because it had just rained and it was exactly the calm place I needed to go to. I'd driven out to the beach and taken a beach chair and plopped down right next to the water. I'd even managed to drag a log over to be a foot rest. I kicked the sand and screamed out of frustration. I just screamed for a while and then I started to cry. I felt so broken without him, he was here and I still felt broken. Because he didn't want me and I knew it.

"I wish that I knew what to do. I wish that I'd never left. I wish that Quil still loved me. I wish that I wasn't such a screw up. I wish Quil didn't regret letting me back in. I just wish…it didn't feel like this." Then I stopped realizing what I was doing. Sulking in my own pity.

"What a whiny bitch. No wonder he doesn't want you, look at yourself." I had this sudden self loathing. I couldn't believe myself. I couldn't feel the least bit sorry for myself. I'd done this all to myself. I'd hurt Quil, pushed him away and then I thought I would just walk back in when I pleased and expect everything to be okay.

"Okay so you can be whiny, but I don't think it qualifies you as a bitch. Not yet at least," Embry. I turned to see him and Jake standing behind me, in cut offs and no shirts.

"Great. How much of that did you catch?" I asked as they sat themselves in front of my chair in on the log. They were on patrol so Quil had just told me he had to go to so he wouldn't have to stay with me at home. That's how much he didn't want me there. He chose work over me. His imprint. FML.

"Well when you screech like that, it's hard for patrolling werewolves not to immediately run to the scene," Jake mumbled running his fingers through his growing hair. When I had left it was buzz cut and now it was curling around his ears and getting closer and closer to his shoulders.

"So you're saying you heard almost every word?"

"Pretty much kiddo," Embry replied, eliciting a groan from me. He looked at me with concern. "Claire Bear. We all know he still loves you. He's happy you're back, but he's worried. You've been sort of distant. He just wants to give you your space and time to think."

"I don't know what to do. I feel like Quil completely regrets letting me come back. I want everything to be like how it was before I left, but I feel like…I feel like shit actually. I screwed everything up." I felt the tears well up again. Here she was again, the whiny, spoiled rotten Claire. Soon the angry, self hating Claire would show up again, then the confused and depressed Claire.

"I think he's just worried that you don't want to be here. He also wonders if you regretted what you told him. He was thinking about it earlier and about how he just wants you to think things over," Jake said in a soothing tone.

"I don't regret what I said, I meant it, and I do want to be here," I said honestly. "I just don't feel like I belong here anymore. Like Leah giving me dirty looks all of dinner the other night and how every time something would come up Paul would say, 'But Claire wasn't here so she wouldn't know.' I mean, I can't very well stay here if everybody I want to be around doesn't want around. Honestly even you guys seemed like you didn't to spend any extra time with me. Quil didn't even try to stick up for me and when we got home he just went to his room and shut the door. He hasn't given as much as a hug since the first night."

"They're just looking out for Quil and so are we. You know that and we have good reason too. You've been out of his life for a while and he had a really tough time dealing with that. None of us want to see that happen again. As for what's up with him, you should probably talk to him about it," Jake replied in his way. He always seemed to know what to tell me. He was one of the people I could always count on to be honest to me.

"Yeah. I know." I unwillingly. "I know that I left and I know that I screwed up, but I can't fix it if he isn't willing to hear me out."

"I'm sure he'll listen if you try, but you should make the first move," Jake replied.

"I just want him to know that I really do want to be with him. I just…it's not even a want anymore Jake, it a need. I wondered if I wanted to go back to New York, but then I realized I couldn't. I couldn't go without him."

"You need to tell him that, not me. I'm sure you'll find a way to tell him, you're smart Claire Bear. I have faith in you," Jake stood up and patted my knee. He then started walking up in the beach.

"One things for sure, I wanted you to come home," Embry said following him. "If you didn't come back who would I have pick on?"

I chuckled a little and the stared at the water. I thought about it. I didn't want to be angry, self hating Claire. I didn't want to be confused, depressed Claire and I didn't want to be whiny, spoiled Claire. I wanted to be the old me. I wanted my old life back. I wanted what we had and I wanted to erase all the mistakes I had made. In the Bible, although I wasn't an avid reader, the way to cleanse yourself of your sins was to be washed in a river or stream. An ocean should do, I thought. Even though I didn't know why I was going to do it, I knew I needed to jump into the water. If not for the metaphoric purposes, but to hopefully feel something.

I looked at the water. I knew it would be cold and probably would end up getting me sick, but there I was. I took off my jeans, tossed my jacket and then peeled off my shirt. I stood in my black bra and panties, took one deep breath and took a running jump into the water. It was cold and I screamed at the sensation. Goose bumps were covered me, but I felt so much better. Like I was awake and all the sudden alive.

I ducked under again and let my body adjust to the cold water. Soon I was swimming through with no problem, the goose bumps were still there, but I didn't feel cold anymore. I floated in the water and stared at the sky. I had missed this. I floated until I was in the shallow water again and then I'd swim back out. I let the water take me where it wanted and I just relaxed. I looked at the cloudless sky and tried to wipe my thoughts clean. I floated for what seemed like hours, but I knew it was much less than that. I thought I could stay out there forever, but I knew sometime reality would catch up with me. Then I heard someone yelling my name.

"Claire? Hey are you okay? What are you doing it's freezing out here!" Quil was standing in the sand waving his hands. I laughed he looked like a concerned parent. He looked more concerned then I had seen him since I'd gotten back.

"It feels good, come in and join me?" I sat up and yelled back. I knew how crazy I must have looked. Floating in the cold water in just my underwear with my hair wet and wild, but before I'd left he would have been sprinting out to meet me. Now Quil looked skeptical and confused. "Or is the big bad wolf scared of a little water?"

That got him in, he pulled off his shirt and jeans, leaving him in his boxers. He looked incredibly sexy and then when he dipped under the water, it just made it ten times better. He swam out to find me, but I slipped underneath the water and swam around him. I laughed when he came back up looking around for where I was. Then I swam out a little further to where I knew even he couldn't touch. His face was still dubious.

"Hi." I said smiling when he floated out to where I was. He didn't look happy and that made me more nervous, but Jake was right. If I wanted to show that I wanted him. I had to make the first move and I already had now I just had to get to the point.

"Hi," He said confused. He smiled even though, looking at me floating half naked. "Did you just decide it was a good time to take a dip?"

"Pretty much, I missed the water and I thought what better time than the present?" I paddled a little, but I was getting tired. So I reached out and took Quil's hand and led him back into the more shallow water. He still seemed a little apprehensive. I just didn't know how to spit it out. "I wanted to talked to you."

He nodded looking at me hard. "Go ahead."

"I wanna be with you. Only you and I didn't really say that before. I don't want you to not want me here, but I'd understand. I don't want you to regret letting me back into your life either. I want things to go back to how they were and I know that maybe they can't, but I just wanted you to know I do want all those things. I don't want us to have this tension. I thought about leaving, but then I realized I couldn't. I couldn't leave you, even if we weren't getting along. I didn't want to lose you because I was being stupid. Because I messed up what we had. I want to be comfortable, like we were."

Floating in the water reminded me of the last summer. I thought about how much I had changed and how much he had too. He smiled at me and swam around me in circles mimicking how he had when he'd ask me if I wanted to see other people. I thought about it and I had told him the truth then, all I needed to do was tell it to him again.

"I always want you around Quil. It's always you."

Then he really smiled. He stopped circling and pulled me close. He wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. He supported my weight and we slowly circled. He looked at me with this look I couldn't describe. He was looking right through me and I felt like we were on fire. The moment was so intense that I wanted more, but at the same time I wanted to get away, because I didn't feel like I could handle it. Then when his lips touched mine, even though it was only lightly at first, we exploded. The water had made me cold, but the heat radiating from his body almost made me sweat.

When we finally pulled away, Quil looked at me with his forehead pressed against mine. "That's all I needed to hear. I want you hear and I don't regret taking you back. I just wanted you to be here as much as I wanted you to be…and I don't want to regret this, but I love you."

I was euphoric, "I love you too."

We kissed a while longer and then we got dressed and headed home. We couldn't go home before Quil had to go to Subway and get two foot longs and one for me. While we rode in the car he laced his fingers with mine. I eased into his shoulder and breathed in his earth smell. But then we headed home. He stopped me before we could step through the door. He stopped me and took hold of my hand.

"I want it to be the same too. So, this time honestly. I welcome you home."

I giggled a little, "Thanks, I think."

* * *

**Fingers crossed you liked it and that you want to review.**

**Because I live for reviews and honestly if I don't get any responses..I just don't want to write this for myself.**

**I want other people to enjoy it. So I hope you did.**

**REVIEW, please :)**

**Love,**

**Rachel  
**


	15. Slow Dancing In A Burning Room

**Heey guys! So first let me say I'm in love with this chapter. Second even though I got only about 6 reviews total. like 25+ Favorite Story and 30+ Story Alerts, I decided to update. I'm real sad though. I love reviews more than anything, they're what drive me to write! I hope everyone's doing well and is ready for a kick ass summer! **

**Read on and enjoy.**

**Song of the Day: Slow Dancing in a Burning Room by John Mayer, the perfect combination of sweet and sexy.**

**

* * *

**"Annual camping trip!" Embry bellowed excitedly, I could never fathom how young he could act. Since everything between the pack and I were solved after numerous apologies and several explanations, I was going on the annual camping trip.

The camping trip was epic. It had been a Quileute tradition since the very first group of werewolves. It happened once a year, usually in September or near Labor day. It was always the pack and their imprints or children. The guys had even built a small bathroom and shower up there for long trips. It was taken seriously and was a time of bonding for everyone. I'd gone since I'd been 9 to when I turned 13. It was a long weekend trip and we camped out near the cliffs. We'd stay for two nights and then head back home, but if you looked at the food supply you think we decided to move out there. Once when I was 10 we'd gone over Labor Day and shot of fireworks. It was one of the best memories of my life. They'd always been fun and full of good times. When I was around 11 I'd always wondered what the couples were doing when the snuck off by themselves. Callie and I used to share a tent and try to guess what they were doing. I knew now, that all the non-imprints or people without girlfriends stayed back while imprints and wolves went and, well, did what couples do. I'd asked Embry when I was 14 and he told me everything, and then I didn't want to go anymore. I'd felt awkward plus with my ever growing crush on Quil I didn't feel comfortable when Callie stopped going. I hadn't been since then and I was secretly extremely excited. Now that Quil and I were together, the idea of the couples sneaking of seemed like the sort of thing I'd been waiting for.

"Good job Embry, you actually remembered something other than your own birthday," Paul teased while clapping. Embry crossed the room to slug his arm and he almost got away, but Paul got a good punch in before Embry made his way to the other side again.

"Okay guys, seriously now," Sam said in his Alpha tone. "We want this one to be the best year yet. So we should all be prepared and not forget important equipment, ahem Embry."

"I forget the stupid flipping charcoal, once! Just once people, let it go," he retorted, sighing. I giggled at him when he returned with flipping me off. Luckily Quil passed by and slapped him in the back of the head. I smiled sticking my tongue out. Quil and Embry only laughed at me.

"Also this is the first time back in a few years for some. So Claire, Leah, Kim, and Emily must have a good time or we have failed."

"Emily went last year, Sam," Collin shouted out. Everyone was spread out in Emily's tiny kitchen. Most of the girls and Embry sitting in chairs and the guys all standing.

"Yeah, but I gotta make sure she has a good time, she's my wife," Sam replied planting a wet kiss on her check. Everyone groaned, as if they needed to be reminded of Emily's pregnancy or her and Sam's never ending love fest.

Brady make a whipping noise to which Sam replied, "Don't be jealous you aren't getting any."

Which got the whole group laughing.

"But seriously guys, we want to have a good time on this trip. So we'll meet up at cliffs tomorrow for dinner and get the weekend started right!"

I was excited, I loved these guys and I was ready for some good time with Quil. I'd been getting ready to go back to school and even though it hadn't started yet, I had to get a lot of things switched. Constance worked on a different grade point average and different AP order, so I had to spend a lot of time at the school getting my files straight. Plus he'd been running patrols for the last week so I'd been missing him and I was starved for his attention.

"People need to claim their space this time! So come circle on the map where you plan to be so we can also go get the tents set up before we get up there. Then people can get an idea of, uh, how close they want to be to others. We don't want another Paul incident," Jake said smiling. Everyone except Paul and Rachel began to smile and laugh. Paul made his angry face and then everyone turned back into chatting about their plans. I could tell it wasn't a subject to talk about with everyone.

"What happened?" I asked turning to Jake as he sat back down. He broke out into the biggest smile and chuckled.

"So you know how couples pretty much goes off on their own during the nights?" Jake questioned as I nodded. "Well two years ago everybody goes off to their tents for the night and we all know what happens there."

I couldn't help but blush when Jake said it. "Yeah, so what?"

"Well it's like 3 or 4 in the morning and Paul and Rachel's tent light still hadn't gone out, but none of us were surprised by that. Then most of us guys all start to fall asleep and we hear screaming. We all phased to go see if a blood sucker was out. Then we find Paul and Rachel and well yeah. I don't want to get into detail, she's my sister. It's bad enough it was with Paul, but trust me if you really knew what happened you'd know why I don't want to talk about it." Jake looked a little disgusted, but then smiled again. He stood again. "So that's why this time everybody is going to map out where there going to be. So if we hear any ruckus we can know to ignore it if it's in a general area."

Most everyone agreed. Quil smiled at me from across the way and walked over to where the guys were holding the map. Each guy walked up and circled an area and I secretly wanted to know exactly where he'd picked. I worried if he picked far away did that mean he was expecting something, but if he picked really close I knew would be disappointed. I didn't ask though as we got into his car and we hung out for the rest of the night. Part of me was afraid to know the answer.

"Are you ready to go?" Quil yelled from the kitchen. I hadn't started packing until about ten minutes before we were supposed to leave so I was a bit rushed. I threw my clothes, toiletries, good shoes, bug spray, and some games into my bag. My pillow and extra blanket were already in the Beast.

"Yeah! I'll meet you by the car!" I replied and I was about to dash out of the room when I remembered what had been nagging me. The whole tent situation was still unclear, Quil hadn't said anything and I hadn't asked. Sam, Jared, and Paul had gone up early to set up everyone's tents and get things cleaned up and so the tent would already been in place and be waiting for us when we got there. I'd packed nice underwear and clothes so I would be prepared if anything was to happen, but…

I walked back into my room, which was really only used for keeping my stuff in since I slept with Quil every night. I opened the bottom dresser drawer and rummaged through some stuff before I found a small box that I'd had for a while. Just before my sister had left for college she had given me the box of condoms saying that I should have them just in case. I hadn't thought of it at the time because that's when Quil and I weren't speaking. I looked at the packages and wondered if I should take them or not. I sighed, like Callie said just in case. I stuffed the package in the bottom of my bag and ran out to the car.

"You okay?" Quil asked me as I hopped into the Beast.

"Just fine, let's go." I blushed harder, but I smiled a little. I could dream right?

The night started out just as I had remembered. Sam and Jared cooked up steaks, hot dogs, and burgers. Then we all feasted and talked about all our old memories of the place. Then the guys found the wood for the bonfire, the boy who brought back the most always got the first smore. Then everyone else made smores and the guys devoured almost every last one.

"Kiss me?" Quil asked, looking at me with his mouth and chin covered in marshmallow and chocolate. In response I shook my head. He tried to grab me as I ran away pushing through Embry and Jake. He did finally catch me and then I didn't mind getting a little sticky.

"You're icky," I said laughing as he dragged me back to the logs next to the bonfire.

"You sound like a second grader," Quil said poking my sides. We all settled into our seats and continued reminiscing. We all knew that eventually we'd get to hear the whole reason we were up here. Usually Billy or Quil's dad told the story of our tribe, but since they were getting older and older they wanted to pass on the tradition. Jake and Sam had been the ones to take on the challenge. As the fire blazed we honored or ancestors and how all our wonderful werewolves came to be.

I was entranced watching Jake and Sam tell the story. They worked together and each told a part and then switched. They were so theatrical and prepared, and it was told with such ease and excitement it felt like a whole new story to me.

I leaned back into Quil's chest as he wrapped his big arms around me and tucked me in so I was between his legs. I had almost forgotten about the tent and what was going to happen after this. Quil was playing with my hair and kept kissing my neck or face that I couldn't imagine that he hadn't thought about it. His hands would travel from my hair to my neck down my shoulders to my arms and back up again. It made my hairs stand on end even though he was warm like an oven. As they wrapped up the story Quil's hand had traveled down to my thigh, even underneath my short soffe shorts, and was making slow constant circles with his thumb. I knew I'd made the right choice bringing them. I couldn't wait to return to the tent.

By no surprise, Paul and Rachel were the first to leave. Paul winked at Jake which got him to gave Paul the bird. Slowly the couples were left to Sam and Emily and Quil and me. Embry, Leah, Brady, Collin, and Seth still sat around.

"Are you ready to head back to the tent?" Quil asked softly. He almost seemed…anxious, was he nervous too? I looked up and kissed him. I was ready. We stood and hand and hand Quil led me into the woods. We got to where I couldn't see the embers anymore and suddenly I heard the ocean. Then out by the bluffs over looking the water and the moon I saw a tent. It said 'Claire and Quil' on it and was lit by a light on the floor.

"This is amazing," I breathed. "You got the best spot ever."

It was near the cliff to where you could see the drop off, but far enough away that you couldn't fall off. The moon was bright and the water was the best background music. It would wash up and then gently pull away off the sand, taking a little bit as it went.

"You hadn't been in a while and I wanted you to remember this time," Quil said smiling sheepishly. We walked into the tent and I was amazed by how much they'd crammed in there. Our air mattress laid on the floor with our pillows and blankets, bags were at the foot of the bed and then there was the lantern hung from the ceiling. I pulled off my hoodie, underneath I had a cami on and Quil stripped down to his usual boxers and T-shirt. It was just like usual, but at the same time we both felt the pull.

"Claire," Quil muttered softly pulling me close. It wasn't long before we started kissing, our tongues battling each other. My hands ran over his back as his traveled my legs. I flipped us so he was underneath me. I leaned down to kiss him and then I slipped my hands under his shirt pulling it off his body. I kissed his chest and his abs as he groaned. I couldn't help but smile, I had never felt so powerful, so wanted. I loved this boy and I wanted to make him happy. I reached under my shirt and pulled it off exposing my black lacy bra. At first Quil just stared and then his groaned again. He pulled me close and kissed me. Then his hands reached my hips and soon off went my shorts. He kissed my stomach and the valley between my breasts. I was drowning in him. He sounded, felt, looked, and smelled _so good_. I was so ready for this.

I started to reach my hands into the waistband of his boxers when his hand caught mine. His expression was pained, but controlled.

"Claire."

"I want you." I replied kissing his lips. My hand ran up his chest and to his face. I was confused, but still persistent.

"You have to stop."

"What..? Did I do something wrong? I just thought that-" I sputtered. I was shocked. He had just stopped. Like he didn't want me anymore, like he knew this hadn't been what it was going to lead to.

"No, you didn't do anything wrong." Quil said shaking his head. He sat us up straight and looked into my eyes. He smiled a little and at that moment I wanted to smack him. I was embarrassed as hell and at that moment I just wanted to bolt it and he was smiling? "I know that you packed some, uh, things and I know that you know what goes on at these, but…"

"But what Quil? Am I not good enough for that? Do you not want to do it with me? Or what?" I retracted from his touch like I'd been burned. I couldn't believe him. I had completely given him my consent. I'd flat out told him what I wanted and he said no. I was ready to be completely his and he'd just denied me.

"No what? Why would you think that at all?" Quil asked trying to reach for me. But I grabbed his T-shirt and my shoes and put them on. I started to climb out of the tent when he grabbed my wrist keeping me half way in. "Tell me what the problem is. Why would you think I didn't want you? Why are you mad at me?"

"I don't know Quil, maybe because you just stopped. Maybe because did you even think to think about the fact that I had brought those because I was wanting something? Maybe because I just felt completely self -conscious when you just pushed me off? Maybe because now I just feel like shit because you don't want me? Or maybe because you knew exactly what was going to happen."

I ripped my wrist out of his vice and started to stomp off into the woods.

"Claire, please stop!" Quil yelled pulling on his shorts and trying to hop into his shoes.

"That's exactly what you wanted and I did, so leave me alone. I'm going on a walk."

I busted into a full on sprint passing the few that were still sitting around the bonfire and a few loud tents. I finally arrived down of the beach. I threw myself on the sand and stared at the water. The tears that had been building up finally poured out.

**Secret 14: Was I that unlovable? That the guy who was supposed to love me forever didn't even want me?**

He didn't want me like that, he didn't want to sleep with me. Was it just so hard to want me? Yes, I answered myself, because at the moment I don't even want you. I felt unlovable and unwanted. The way he'd just completely pushed me off. The way he knew what was going to come from all of it. He knew that in the end he'd have the power. He would be able to control the situation so that when little Claire stared throwing herself at him he could just brush her off. I'd been half naked offering him my virginity and he'd turned me down. Nate would have jumped at the chance to get in my pants! I could get a dozen guys at my school who would pay me for that! Hell, people buy other people's virginity on Ebay! Why couldn't the boy who loved me want mine?

I looked at the moon and how it reflected on the water. I sucked in a breathe and propped up my knees and let my elbows rest on them. I looked down at the sand between my legs and signed. I pulled my hair up into a messy bun on the top of my head and wondered what Callie, Lena or my mom would say about this. Lena would tell me to get with someone else to make him regret it and Callie would probably just say she's never experienced that before so she really couldn't say and well, my mom, she'd tell me all guys are scum and that I shouldn't care. But I did, because unlike them I knew Quil really loved me. It frustrated me to no end that he couldn't want me.

"I do want you. I completely want you, all of the time. I can't count the number of times I've imagined us finally making love." I heard Quil say from behind me, chuckling a little. I didn't turn around to look at him, but I felt him sit behind me. I almost felt a sting when he reached out to touch my neck. "You missed a piece."

"I'd rather you didn't touch me and I thought I told you to leave me alone." I retorted. It made me more pissed that in my anger I couldn't have at least made a descent bun. I didn't care at the moment so I shrugged his hand off.

"Claire, please don't be mad at me," he begged, I could hear the pleading in his voice. "Did you really want to lose your virginity in a tent, in the woods, with nine werewolves with hyper hearing around?"

"Not exactly, but I didn't really want you to just completely stop." I murmured once again staring out at the water. Sometimes I just wanted to jump in the water and swim. To swim away from all my problems and just float in the water.

"Do you think that I wanted to?" Quil asked scooting even close to me in the sand. "Of course I want to be with you I think about it all the time. It takes every fiber of my being to not rip off all your clothes sometimes, like a pull against gravity."

"Uh huh, sure." I snapped back. "That's exactly why you stopped then."

"Claire, I don't want you to feel pressured like you had to do it because everyone else was. Or because you thought that I wanted it." Quil grabbed my sides and pulled me back so I was once again leaning against his chest with his legs propped up around me. "I want it to be something that we're going to look back and love, not something that we regret and wish we could have done over. I don't want you to lose your virginity on an air mattress with a lantern on. I pictured a bed at least and, hopefully, air conditioning, because we all know how hot I am."

I hated how he made me smile even when I didn't want to. He started to lift his T-shirt off my body and let his hands move along my sides. He traced the lines of the lace on my bra down my spine, making me shiver.

"I want it to be perfect for you. I promise you on my life, that I will make love to you so soon. Just not here and not now. It's just not right, you deserve a 5 star hotel and the most perfect setting ever. I mean I've had so much time to think about this. It's not just something I want you to do to get it over with it, it's not a silly little moment. It's a big deal to you and me."

He kissed my neck and I relaxed my body against his. I couldn't be mad at him. It was impossible. He was right too. I didn't want to be hot and sweaty out in the woods with bugs and the rest of the pack around. I wanted it to be perfect. I especially couldn't be mad as he scattered kissed along my shoulders and back. And all across my arms, where his lips didn't meet his hands did. I was on fire, I was burning from the sensation. When we finally did do it, I knew that it would beat even this feeling.

"And you have absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about. You are the most beautiful and wanted girl I've ever seen. All I ever want to do is hold you in my arms." Quil rested his mouth on my should and I could feel his mouth stretch to make a smile.

"Plus you have the most amazing rack that I could ever imagine," he said as his hands grabbed at my chest. I gasped for a second and then laughed.

"Shut up Ateara!" I squealed as he tickled my sides. He continued to until he had his body pressed against mine in the sand. Once he had me there he stopped the tickling and stared at me for a second.

"See I can't shut up because I love you too much for that." We stayed like that for a long time. I just enjoyed the pressure of his body against mine and the heat that he gave off. His hands tangled in my hair and he kissed me in that slow, leisurely way that drove me crazy. "Let's go back to the tent, okay?"

"Alright," I said reluctantly standing up and taking his hand. "Quil, carry me?"

"Sure, hop on." As I wound my body around his back he stared walking up the beach. "Too tired?"

"No you got sand on my ass."

"Oh really? I mean I could always help you get that off, we don't have to be having sex to get naked." Quil said swinging me so I was wrapped around his front and not his back. His hands slid to my butt. Whish supported me up and I smiled at him, but then playfully turned strict.

"You're a pervert and I shouldn't let you ever see this amazing rack after that. But don't worry I love you so I'll forgive you for that comment."

"Oh really now?" Quil said leaning his forehead against mine as we were suddenly back at the tent.

"Mhm." I said letting go of my vice on him and returning to the ground.

"I guess that's okay since I love you too."

* * *

**So I hope you loved it too? Please love it?**

**Better yet, please review it(:**

**please?**

**Love, Rachel  
**


	16. Burn The Night Away

**Ello Lovers. I got a pretty good response from last chapter**,** which is why it took me so long to write this. I really wanted it to be good like the last chapter. I had a lot of issues I've wanted to deal with. I'm leaving for Orlando, Florida on Saturday, so I'll have a lot of time to write!(:**

**Song of the Day: Burn The Night Away by There For Tomorrow, they're my obsession.**

**Now, sit back, relax and enjoy**

**

* * *

**

"Senior year." I mumbled to Lena as we pulled out of the drive way from her house. "Are you ready for this?"

"Are you? You don't even look like you got dressed this morning," Lena pointed out looking at me. I'd been tired and didn't really care. So I threw on a pair of shorts and a blue and white striped boy's rumpled striped button down, then rolled up the sleeves. My hair was in it's natural state of waves and I hadn't put on much makeup, but seriously we had like 3 hours of school and then we left. Who cared enough to get ready? Lena, of course, had a cute sundress on and her hair curled into perfect twists.

"Shut up." I giggled running my fingers through my hair. "You're just lucky I'm giving you a ride."

Lena and I had repaired our relationship, since we realized: we had no one else. She'd been like my sister since 6th grade and although her mistake was major, it was done. Lena had a miscarriage. She'd been devastated, but even more when I wasn't there. I felt terrible. I couldn't be that cold to someone I owed some of my best times too. We'd talked and cried and worked things out in the end. Now it was as if everything hadn't ever happened. Andy had run as soon as the whole deal was over, so now it was just back to being me and her. Well kind of, Quil was my main focus, which still annoyed her to no end, but close to the same.

This was our last year in Quileute Tribal School. The school was so tiny compared to Constance. **(A/N: If you've ever Googled Quileute Tribal School it's tiny like I think it's literally one building. So for my story at least we're going to pretend that it's not as small. P.S.: No offense is meant to the school in any way shape or form, since I've never been there and wouldn't know what it's like.) **Part of me was sad this was the last year here, but the other was ready to get the hell out of here. I didn't know what the future would hold for me. With Quil having to stay at least near La Push and not going to college not being an option, I didn't know what to do. I needed to sit down and talk to Quil about it. I just hadn't found the time. Plus there had been a new bloodsucker sighting so the whole pack was on call and had been for a few days.

"Please put on a little concealer, you look like you've been awake for days." Lena begged as we parked. I took a peak at myself in the mirror. She was right, it was exactly the prettiest picture. "Oh and eyeliner. No wait, just let me do your make up real quick."

I gave in a let her scribble her pens and colors across my face. Then the warning bell went off and we grabbed our things and hopped out of the car.

"Shit, this place looks worse than it did last year. Why does the first freaking day have to be on a Friday? Couldn't they just hold off until Monday?" Lena questioned as she walked into the school. "At least there's the big beach bash tonight, you're coming with me right?

"Come on, let's just get this day over with," I said following her into the building, ignoring her question. I was hoping to get some alone time with Quil tonight, but I never knew how that would work out. His hours were sporadic and they could be for 2 hours or 2 days. The bash was one of the most epic parties of the year. It had also been where I had met Andy and I didn't really mind missing out on that.

The school was a good size compared to any other high schools in the area. We shared four buildings with K-12. K-5 was in one building, the middle schoolers in another, and high school was in two buildings. The school, to me, could never compared to the four stone buildings and lounges in Constance. Which was also only blocks from good coffee and the Met steps. Part of me missed the security of my navy plaid skirt, boyfriend blazer, and matching tie. Now I just felt out of place walking through the halls. I wondered if this was the way I'd feel at college. Then I wondered where the hell I was even going to go to college…

The only amusing part of the day was watching the freshman scramble to find their classes then watching them part like a sea as we walked through. Seniority was nice. On top of that, the honors classes I was taking were things that Constance covered in their Junior year. So school was going to be a breeze and as soon as it started, it was finished. I dropped Lena off at home and sped back to the house. I sighed when I walked in. I hadn't been expecting to find him just sitting at home waiting for me, but I could hope right? I wandered around the house, picking up things and putting them away.

Then I found his note:

_Claire bear, _

_Sorry I couldn't be there for you last first day of high school, but I had to go to work. I should be home later tonight._

_Love, Quil._

I decided that Quil would be home sometime so I decided to start getting ready to make dinner. I hoped Quil would come home and we'd have a nice meal. Then I could bring up college and he'd be in a good mood since he'd just eaten. I made a dash to the store to pick up all his favorites, after a long day of working I knew he'd be especially hungry.

I went back home and put everything away and decided a nap was in order. I curled up in our bed and passed out for a few hours. My alarm went of at 5 and I got up and turned on the grill. Again I wished, Quil would just walk through the door, but no such luck. By the time I'd gotten down making steak, potatoes, man n' cheese, and cookies, he still hadn't shown up. I sighed, I thought about starting to eat alone, but I'd done all that work. I wanted to share it with Quil.

"Wow! If I'd known you were making a gourmet meal, I'd shown up earlier." I turned smiling thinking it was Quil, but of course not. There was Jake standing in my kitchen, half naked and practically drooling at the food I'd made. I sighed as he looked expectedly between the food and me. I threw my arms up.

"Whatever, Jake, take some. What the hell are you doing here anyway?" I snapped, throwing the dishrag I'd been holding at him. He caught it with ease and was already starting in on one of my steaks. I smiled in spite of myself, I loved seeing Jake here. He was someone I could never be mad at.

"Well hello to you too Claire Bear," Jake said with a smile, "Well…(chew) Quil's on patrol…(chew) and I'm going to…(chew) go switch him duty, but…(chew) he asked me to come check on you first."

In four bites, one of the steaks I'd made was devoured. Not even by the person I wanted eating it. "Then go and do it!"

"Well, someone's needy," Jake laughed, "Thanks for the food, that was amazing. You should be a cook."

"Thanks…"

"Hey so listen, I know things didn't go down how you thought they would on the camping trip, but Quil's right. You will get extremely hot, so air conditioning is a must and about the bed part, well. Just make sure you don't break it. Those things are more expensive then you'd think." Jake turned to give me a big bear hug and made me break up in a laughing fit.

"You're gross, now go. I wanna see my boyfriend," I said with a smile. I leaned in a kissed his check and he side widely.

"Don't worry, I know he wants to see you too. I mean what has it been? Like 8 hours?" Jake teased as he threw his plate into the sink. Then he continued to pull out another plate and set of silverware.

"Thank you and no, it's been a few days. I've had school stuff and my mom's actually been home so she wanted me to stay with her," I replied. It was true. My mother had rolled into to town on a whim and had asked me to stay with her for a few nights. She'd been working on some project in Texas and they'd given her time to go home and gather some more things before she left again. She listened as I told her about what had been going on for the last month, even though her absence had been longer than that. She took me out to a nice dinner and refilled my back account. That was the only nice thing about an absent parent. She just handed me the money and left. She had gone back this morning. She'd been nice enough to make me blueberry pancakes and left me a nice note before I left for school. Goodbyes were never something my mom was good at.

"Well I'm glad. At least she cared enough to stop by and see you," Jake replied standing next to the door. He knew all about my absent mother and how I had never really enjoyed it. "But I'll see you later Claire Bear."

"Bye Jakey, go get my boyfriend and tell him to come home fast, I miss him."

"Will do," and with that he was gone. I decided to at least look nice for Quil when he got home. I put on a nice black sundress and redid my make up.

I knew it would be a little while longer before Quil actually got back to the house so I wandered out to get the mail. Nothing too much, but a lot of college letters. My dad being who he was and my mom being who she was, had lots of colleges interested in me. Places like Columbia, NYU, and Brown had sent me information after my time at Constance. I dreamed about going somewhere out of state like that. I could go to Columbia and make my parents proud. It was an Ivy League, something that my parents would be happy about to no end. I could imagine myself living in the flat my dad already owned and taking a cab to class. I could take a bike or even walk and get coffee at Starbucks everyday. I would go shopping on 5th Avenue during breaks and eat lunch with my high school friends on a weekly basis. Maybe I'd even join a sorority and go out with my girl friends. I could go to clubs and go through Central Park.

My phone chimed and with it my day dreams were swept away. It was Quil.

"Hello?" I answered breathlessly. I had been so caught up in my day dreams I hadn't heard the phone ring. I had to bolt across the room to get it.

"Hey baby girl. Listen I'm really, really sorry, but Sam is getting everybody out for the night to keep a look out for this vampire…and I have to stay," Quil replied. I knew it wasn't his fault, it just made me sad. I shouldn't have made all this food and got my self all dressed up when I didn't know if he was even coming home.

"Oh…okay. It's fine, good luck," I said trying to sound eager, but I could even hear my disappointment.

"Thanks, isn't the big beach thing tonight? Why don't you head down to that?" Quil asked trying to make it sound like I wasn't missing out, but I was. The party would probably be fun and that would make Lena happier than me skipping out on her again, but nothing was better then a good night at home with Quil.

"Yeah, it is." I observed. I hadn't thought much of the party, but I was dressed up and I was sure going would make Lena happy with me.

"Alright, but I'll be home late so don't worry about staying up, okay?" Quil asked lightly. "I love you, Claire and I'm really sorry I can't be home with you. Don't go in the woods while you're out, okay?"

"I love you too, be safe," I said back with meaning. Even when these times did come and they had been often when I didn't see him, I always knew that he meant those words and was always genuinely sorry he couldn't be home. I could almost hear him smile and sigh out of relief when I said it back. Quil hung up and I called Lena and told her I'd come get her for the party.

We pulled up to the party which was already starting up. There was a bonfire set up and the volleyball nets were swaying in the wind. There were tables of drinks and food set up, but at this party all that really mattered was the alcohol. The music blared from the local radio station playing the newest hits. The freshman, who were lucky enough to be let in, were all awkwardly standing together. The rest of the kids were lingering around. Since the school was so tiny everybody knew everybody. Most of the couples were huddled up by the bonfire while some kids were hitting the volleyball back and forth. Some seniors were in the ocean playing some drinking game and the rest were dancing or talking. Lena and I wandered over to talk to some of the girls by the bonfire.

Then all the seniors waded out in the freezing water to take a picture and do a shot. It was part of tradition that a big game of chicken went down also. I climbed up on Lena's shoulders and tried to fight off all the competition. It was a lot more fun than I expected and even as we crashed into the water at the end we were still laughing. I was soaking wet, but I didn't mind too much as we huddled around the fire.

"Hey Claire," I heard a voice say from behind me. I turned to see the pretty face of Blake. My ex boyfriend, lovely. He was standing not far away with his hands tucked in his pockets. He was holding a beer and a tiny shot glass in his hands.

"Hi Blake," I said standing and giving him a quick squeeze. He smiled down and handed me the shot.

"Vodka and Mountain Dew, your favorite if I remember right," It had been when I'd been through my partying phase. I smiled back at him and look at the shot for a moment before tossing it back. It burned it's way down my throat and hit my stomach like a bomb. I tried to hold back a cough while I got a good look at Blake. Even though we went to the same school we had never been in the same classes except our sophomore year, when we had dated. He was a cutie as always. His features were the exact opposite of Quil's: blond, blue eyes, a little lanky, average height, baby face and fair skinned. "How have you been? I heard you were in New York,"

"Yeah I was, um, I've been good. You?" I asked, trying to make small talk. I wasn't sure what he expected to come of this conversation. I really didn't have much to say and I would have rather stayed in my conversation with the girls.

"Really good. I went to New York a couple of months ago to look at schools with my dad," Blake replied. No surprise there, one of the reasons Blake and I had been so compatible was because we could always talk about how much we wanted to leave this town. Blake's dad was a business man also and traveled all the time, so Blake got to tag along. "I got to explore the city for a month, it was really nice. Have you applied to anything up there?"

"I haven't applied anywhere yet, but I've gotten letters from a lot of schools in New York," I stated. I honestly didn't feel like having this conversation with anyone other than Quil or at least not until I got to talk to him about it. I let my eyes wander, looking for something to drink. I stood and walked over to the table and got another shot. I had kind of wished Blake hadn't followed, but of course, he did.

"Me either, but I was looking at going to Columbia or NYU."

"Same here! Columbia would be awesome, I love Manhattan," I spilled. I hadn't gotten to talk to anyone else who had ever been there so it was sort of nice talking to someone who had. Quil hadn't ever been anywhere out of the state other than when he had come to visit me and that hadn't been the greatest experience of the city. We got to talking about everything. About the clubs, the stores, the lights, the parties, the music, about everything. Then again about the colleges.

"No offensive, but I didn't think you had the grades to…you know, get in to Columbia?"

The reason Blake and I hadn't ever had classes together was because I had taken honors my whole life and he had skimmed along. He didn't think school mattered that much and he'd never really been concerned about going anywhere. The only reason we'd had classes together was because of driver's ed.

"I didn't," Black chuckled, "I still probably don't, but I've been taking classes at the community college trying to get some credits so some college will accept me. My dad will be pissed if I don't get in somewhere nice. It also helped I got a 33 on my ACT."

"That's amazing. I'm sure you'll get in some where great though." I took a sip of Blake's beer. I was starting to feel a little buzzed. It was nice, I hadn't drank since New York. I had forgotten how nice the feeling was.

"Yeah, wouldn't it be awesome to be able to hang out up there?" Blake asked quietly, almost like he was dreaming about it. I might have been a little drunk, but I wasn't that drunk. I sat in thought for a minute. Would I ever be able to go to some where like Columbia so far away Quil? Would I be cool with hanging out with people like Blake and not see Quil everyday? Could I handle guys like Blake trying to hit on me? I missed Quil already and it had only been hours since I'd heard his voice. I looked at Blake again. I had liked him so much when we were dating. He was popular, a jock, and he was interested in me. I'd been so happy when he asked me out and when he'd kissed me. But looking at him now just made me miss Quil.

I didn't want it to be like that when I went to college. Then I knew I couldn't be that far away from him, ever. I didn't even want to be far away from him now.

"Maybe, but I'll see you later Blake. I think I'm going to head home," I said standing. Luckily one of my girl friends hadn't had a drink that night and was willing to drive me back. I waved goodbye to Katie and she climbed in the car with Lena. It was around 2 when I pulled in and Quil still was no where to be found. I sighed and changed into comfy clothes and looked up colleges in Seattle.

**Quil's POV**

I was so freaking tired. It was almost 3 when Sam sent us home. I rushed back to the house when I spotted Claire's car in the drive way. I hadn't expected to see the lights on when I walked up. I felt like a creep as I peered in the window. There she was. My girl, she had one of my hoodies on which looked huge on her body. She sat with her legs criss-crossed looking at the computer with her headphones in. She was gorgeous. Even in her lazy clothes she took my breath away. Her hair was pulled up into a bun on the top of her head and she was chewing on the end of one of the strings. I couldn't get enough of it. I took her in for a while. I couldn't wait to be able to hold her in my arms and kiss her face.

I didn't want her to turn and see me staring though the window, so I ducked inside. I walked through the kitchen and saw food set out. There were my favorites, everything that I loved sitting out on the table. I felt a pang of anger towards Sam for making me miss out on this and then I was hit with guilt that Claire had made all this for me. Jacob had been thinking about good food when he'd arrived, but I thought that he was just hoping for some. Steak, macaroni, potatoes, and I even found cookies in a tin. Next to all the food I found college letters.

I knew that Claire had wanted to talk to me about this. I felt so guilty. She deserved to go to one of these colleges, she was getting asked by Ivy Leagues! My girl was in high demand and even though I hated the idea of being away from her. Even the thought of it almost cause me physical pain, I never wanted to deny Claire of anything. Especially an education, she could be anything in the whole world. She was so smart and talented. I was holding her back. I was never going to be able to leave this town and I might have had an important job, but I would always seem like I was some drop out who never got a real job. I worked at an auto mechanics place while Claire could be the next in line to inherit her dad's business.

"Quil!" Claire called, I turned to see her only for a moment before she bound into my arms. I breathed in her smell, totally intoxicated. She had no clue the effect she had on me. I let my hands run up her smooth legs as her face tucked into my neck. I was in heaven.

"Hey sweetheart," I murmured into her hair. She smelled like her usual self, vanilla, but it was mixed with the smell of alcohol. She looked up at me with her big eyes and I just melted. She had the biggest green eyes I'd ever seen. "How much did you drink?"

"Not too much," She giggled. She leaned forward and her lips met with mine. I smiled against her mouth, I would never get enough of this girl. Her hands wound into my hair and I groaned inwardly. It was kind of sexy, her sweet taste mixed with whatever she had drunk. I had the urge to just take her right there, but of course, I wouldn't do that. I had already planned this, now was not the time. Soon enough our tongues were battling for dominance. I broke away for only a moment to let her breathe. "I missed you."

"I really, really missed you," Claire whispered as I left a trail of kisses down her neck. I nipped at the sensitive skin at the base of her neck, which I knew drove her crazy. She moaned as she pulled her face back. She stood and led my into our bedroom. I followed, I was like a hopeless puppy when it came to her. I would follow her anywhere, even if that meant to college. I mean the new pack would come together soon enough. There was freaking 17 wolves including me, why couldn't they handle the vampires? Although seven of the guys hardly ever showed up, even though it was their job as much as ours. **(A/N: So I was just reading something about how many wolves there were at the end of Breaking Dawn and it said 17, but I really didn't like Breaking Dawn a bunch, so I sort of skimmed the end. I really did not know about the other wolves until 5 minutes ago. So…were just going to keep the story as it is.)**

Claire pressed her body against mine again pushing us back onto the bed. It was only seconds before we were back to kissing. My hands roamed her back and legs. She had the best body I'd ever seen. It was almost sinful how she could be cute and innocent one second and then the next be the sexiest, most irresistible girl I'd ever seen. I don't know how long we were tangled like that before Claire pulled back and yawned.

She was tired, I felt bad that she had stayed up and waited for me. She pulled away and laid her head on my chest. It was automatic as she wrapped her body around me and I wrapped my arms around her. I could see myself waiting back at her dorm like this. After her classes I would visit and we could lay like this and even make love. I pulled her hair out of its bun so I could wined my fingers into it. I felt her yawn again and I did the same. It was so damn contagious.

"How are you?" Claire asked softly.

"Good, tired, I'm so sorry I missed dinner. It looked really good," I replied. Claire smiled and mumbled something along the lines of it was okay. I knew we needed to talk about this. I wanted to make it clear that I would be okay with whatever she chose. I would support her 100%. "Claire, what do you want to do after you get out of high school?"

Claire woke up more as I spoke, she sat up and looked at me. She smiled and even laughed a little. "You saw the papers out by the food."

"Yeah, Claire listen. I don't ever want you to think you can't go to some big college like Brown or something. I would okay with it. I want you to be able to do whatever you want. I could even come live with you if you wanted to go somewhere like that," I mused.

"I've already decided," Claire stated. I knew it, she had that look in her eye. She had never been one to let other's opinions cloud her ideas. She'd want to go back to New York. Maybe she wouldn't even want me to go along. Maybe she'd want to see Nate again. Somebody who knew the city and would be attending a college like that.

"So that's it? You're going back?" I hissed, then I was a bit angry. She had decided before even talking to me about it. Of course, I wanted her to go where ever she wanted, but did I even get to talk to her about it before she packed up her bags?

"No, Quil listen-"

"You're just going to go back to New York. Don't I get a say in it?" I demanded. I couldn't believe that she hadn't even thought about me in this.

"Quil! SHUT UP," Claire boomed. Then she smiled at me and cup my cheek in her hand. "I couldn't ever leave you. I don't want to go back to New York if it wasn't with you. I was going to say I've decided I'm going to University of Washington, it's in Seattle. Then I'll be close enough I can come see you every weekend! I was just looking it up online. It seems really great."

"Oh," I said dumbly. I couldn't believe I had thought she would do that to me. I sighed, Seattle wasn't far away at all. I couldn't help but feel a little guilty. "Are you sure that's what you really want?"

For a second Claire seemed to think about that. Then I wondered if it wasn't. "Going back to New York would be great, but I never want to be that far away from you. I don't care about going to an Ivy League. It would be for nothing. I plan on going to college, marring you and getting a job somewhere in town or something."

"Marry me, huh?" I asked. I hadn't thought about getting married much, there was no doubt it my mind that I wanted too. It just hadn't been anything that I had thought about. Even though we were practically married now, it would be nice to let everyone know. Everyone who met Claire to see that she was mine.

"Unless you've decided otherwise…" Claire questioned, as if she thought that I'd ever want to be with anyone else. I kissed her, hard. She smiled at my answer. "Not that I'm trying to pressure you into it or anything. I'm not asking to be married as soon as I go off to college, but just sometime would be nice."

I liked the idea of her going of to college married. Then all those stupid frat boys and players would see she was already taken. "It would be,"

I looked at her again, my angel. My better half, my soul mate, my everything. She smiled warmly before tucking herself back into my arms. Her hair fanned out behind her and her eyes closed. It was only minutes before I heard her breathing even out. I exhaled and smiled. This was all I'd ever need. Claire. She was my whole world.

**Claire's POV**

The weeks went on and soon it was nearing November. School had been a breeze and I'd sent in my applications to U of W. I'd studied enough to pull off a 33 on my ACT so I really didn't have much to worry about admissions.

Quil and I were asleep in bed, when the phone went off. It was almost two in the morning and I had no clue who could be calling. I hopped up none the less and picked up the phone. I heard a lot of noise and yelling. I couldn't imagine what was going on until I heard Jake's voice.

**Quil's POV**

The phone was going off at two freaking o'clock in the morning. Who was calling? It seemed like I had just fallen asleep with Claire and now I was awake again. Claire had gotten up to get it and she seemed to be talking frantically. I sat up and walked into the kitchen where she was.

I looked at her for only a moment and I knew something was wrong. Her face looked like someone had punched her in the stomach. I rushed to her side and asked her what was wrong.

"It's your grandpa, Quil," she said cautiously, she watched my face carefully. "He had a heart attack."

* * *

**ohh snap. okay, well I know that was a lot to digest, but please digest it into a review(:**

**Oh, by the way please tell me if any of you would be interested in being my semi-beta. Just someone who would be willing to read through the chapter and see how they like it and fix and little errors. I'm not as concerned about the person checking grammar errors, but as much as the person telling me and making comments on the whole concept. **

**So review on the story and on the beta thing!:D**

**PLEASE REVIEW.**

**Love,**

**Rachel  
**


	17. Come Home

**Dear readers...thanks for my 6 reviews. Well actually thanks to the six of you who did take the time out of the 177 people who are subscribed for alerts. On the upside I'm back from Florida and have a wonderful new beta :) yay! I'm just really down on the reviews because I feel like I'm making this story for just those 6 people. Anyway here it is:**

**SOTD: Come Home - OneRepublic, the version with Sara Bareilles is the best.**

**Hold on kiddies, it's going to be a wild ride...**

**

* * *

**As Quil sped to the hospital, I almost feared for my life. Jake and Sam had been running patrols when they'd stopped by Quil Sr.'s house and saw the light on. They'd stopped in to see what was going on and had found him on the floor of the kitchen. He had only been there for about 20 minutes, but was there none the less. They'd called the ambulance and he'd been rushed to Forks Hospital.

He wasn't in good condition and we all knew what they were trying to say. Quil Sr. was getting very old and the doctor's told us that we shouldn't be surprised. They were surprised he was still as healthy as he was. Old Quil had been Quil's dad growing up. Both of Quil's parents had passed away and he'd lived with Old Quil until he had been a teenager. He didn't talk about it much, but I knew that he'd always been sensitive about anything related to parents. I knew that he thought he owed his grandpa everything, for raising him, for paying for everything, and I knew how much this must be hurting him.

"He's doing better right now," a nurse said as she exited from Old Quil's hospital room. She eyed the whole pack sitting there. I do mean the whole pack. Everybody had climbed out of bed to be here and even as pissy as Paul had been when he'd arrived, he now was sitting as solemn as everyone else. "We don't want to over crowd him, so uh, how about only family first."

Quil stood and hesitated for a moment before grasping my hand and pulling me up. I hadn't been able to say a word since we'd found out. I didn't have a clue what to say to him. I'd never been close to losing someone close to me so I wasn't sure what he wanted to hear, but I followed behind him as we walked into the hospital room, just the same.

When I saw Old Quil, I died a little on the inside. He was pale and looked exhausted. I loved this man, for as much as he had been Quil's father figure, he'd been my grandpa. He used to sneak me candies while Quil wasn't looking and baby sit me while Quil and the boys were out. He managed a smile as we sat down next to him.

"Hey Gramps," Quil said dropping my hand and taking Old Quil's. I tried to smile at him, but it was so hard. "How are you feeling?"

"Bad, but it's manageable," he croaked out. I felt the tears in my eyes well up. I knew I couldn't cry right now, not in front of him and Quil. That would just start something terrible. It wasn't even fair for me to cry when Quil wasn't. It was his grandpa. It was his family. "Hey Claire Bear, smile for me. You're a beautiful young women and if I was still young and kickin,' I just might have to try to steal you from my grandson here."

I shook my head and tried to smile for him, but it didn't last. It was truly hard to see him like this. I had a sudden pang of guilt I hadn't made myself go on more trips with Quil to Old Quil's house. We usually went at least a few times a month to have dinner with him, but I should have made Quil start going more often.

He reached out and took my hand, trying to bring me close. I sat opposite of my Quil and looked at Old Quil's pained face. He winced for a moment before coughing.

"Quil, my boy, would you mind getting me some water?" He asked. Quil shook his head and left the room. He shot me a glance before walking out. I wasn't quite sure I understood what was going on. I should have been the one going to get the water. "Claire, you're one of the most lovely people I've ever met. Quil's one lucky guy finding a girl like you. You remind me so much of my late wife. Smart, funny, talented."

"I'm really lucky finding him too," I said, trying to smile at him. He squeezed my hand and then his expression turned serious. Lord help me if he was about to die right in front of me. He looked pained for a moment before he opened his mouth again.

"Quil's going to have a real rough time if things don't work out in my favor tonight. But I want you to promise me that no matter what, you'll take care of him. You're all he's going to have left. Sure, I know the pack will be there for him, but he's going to need you, more than he ever has. No matter what he does, promise me you'll look after him for me?" This was his last wish. I couldn't deny him this, and I didn't want to anyway. I would be there for Quil, because as much as I wished that the inevitable would never happen, I knew that Old Quil could sense what was coming.

"I promise. I'll do whatever it takes," I replied, nodding. "You've been the best thing to ever happen to Quil. I know he feels like he owes you everything and I owe you a lot, too. You've been like a grandpa to me."

"You're the best thing that's ever happened to Quil and don't you forget that. After a while he won't remember I'm gone, but you'll always be there for him," he stated. I knew that was untrue. Quil would never forget his granddad, but I wished the loss to be quick and easy. I knew Quil would need his own time, but I wanted to make it as painless as possible for both of them. "You're a wonderful girl. You're going to do great things. Thank you for everything."

That was it. That was my breaking point. As Quil entered the room almost on cue holding a cup of water with a straw. I leaned down and kissed Old Quil's forehead and gave him a light hug before I left them alone. I saw everyone looking at me as I exited the room. I turned and started to book it down to the other lounge. I couldn't stand to have them all see me cry. I looked pathetic. But to everyone else I was just another girl crying in the hospital.

I finally regained my composure and walked down to see everyone. They'd all been in and out talking to Old Quil. We all stood waiting for what was going to happen next. We didn't want to say it, but we all knew it was coming. It was a little past five when the news finally came. He'd been asleep, so it had been less painful and luckily none of us were in the room. Then almost everybody shed a tear. Quil Ateara IV was gone. I was standing next to Quil, not touching him though. I didn't know what his limit was going to be. I hadn't ever felt so distant from him. I didn't even know what to do with him. Should I hug him? Or would it look self-centered that I was openly bawling while he was only standing? Should I leave him alone? Or was that terrible? Should I try to talk to him? Or was it too soon?

Billy and Sue Clearwater were going to handle the funeral. They didn't want to make Quil have to make all the decisions so soon. I was lost in thought with tears rolling down my face when Quil crashed into me. He hunched over and cried into me. I had to be the strong one this time. I had to help him just like I told Old Quil I would. I stood and wrapped my arms around his back as his cried. I didn't know how long we stood there, but by the time I looked up, Sam, Jake, and Embry were the only ones left. Their eyes were as red as Quil's.

They all stood and gave Quil a hug before saying their goodbyes. Quil looked at the ground, distraught. I was unsure what to do again. He swallowed and looked at me. His eyes were red and he looked like a small child. I was haunted by his face, I'd never seen him like this. So vulnerable, so upset. Even when I'd broken up with him, he'd remained composed. He took a step towards me and wrapped his arms around me. He gave me a breath taking squeeze and then released me.

"You should go home Claire, get some sleep," Quil said softly. His voice was rough and raw.

"Not without you." It had only been hours, and I wasn't going to break my promise.

"I'll be there. I just need some time alone, okay?" Quil replied as he turned down the hallway. He wasn't just walking, he was jogging. I started after him, but his strides were almost three of mine.

"Quil!" I yelled, but he only started running. Then he was gone from my sight. I thought that maybe he just needed some time alone, some time to say goodbye. He'd be okay. I got in the car and drove home. I cried some more as I passed Old Quil's house. The lights were on and I knew Billy and Sue were probably looking over his things.

Quil didn't come home. He hadn't been home for three days and the funeral was tomorrow. I had left him numerous calls and messages, but no response. I'd called Emily, Sam, Jacob, Embry, everybody, and nobody had seen him. I was determined to reach him, and I knew how to do that, because if he wasn't at anybody's house then he was in the woods. I went to Subway, ordered two of his favorite foot longs and parked up near the cliffs. I also took a pair of his pants with me. I walked for a long time calling his name. I was pretty deep into the wood when I finally saw him. He was leaning against a tree. His eyes snapped opened when he saw me. As I had thought, he didn't have any clothes. He must have phased and tore them apart. I tried to look away and only stare at his face, but I couldn't help but blush.

"Claire, what the hell are you doing out here?"

"Looking for my lost boy," I said attempting to smile. "I brought you lunch and pants."

"You shouldn't be out in the woods alone," Quil stated. I tossed him the pants which he quickly pulled on. I knew he wouldn't be easy about this, but he couldn't just stay out here forever. I realized how much more I missed him when I got a good look at him.

"The funeral's tomorrow. I'll see you there, right?" I questioned. I threw him the sandwich and he caught it with ease. I thought he almost smiled when he smelled it, but then he just held it, staring at me.

"I'm not a dick, Claire. I wouldn't miss it," he snapped, dropping the bag on the ground. He crossed his arms like a defiant child.

"I know, but I was just wondering since you haven't even tried talking to me or anyone else," I shot back. I had brought him food and clothes! Shouldn't he have been acting the least bit grateful?

"I told you I needed some time alone."

"Well how long do you plan on staying alone?" I queried. I was getting lonely at home. I wanted to be able to work this out with him. I wanted to talk to him, help him find closure.

"As long as I feel like it. Why don't you go home Claire? I'll be there tomorrow at the funeral. You don't have to escort me."

"I'm your girlfriend, Quil," I retorted. If he was going to use my name, then I could use his. "I was just checking to make sure you were okay. I'm sorry."

"Well I'm fine," Quil replied shortly. His voice didn't have anger in it, but sadness. "You can go back.'

"Whatever," I said turning and walking back. I walked slowly hoping he'd call out for me or say some sort of thanks, but nothing. I didn't even hear the crinkle of the Subway bag. So much for taking care of him. I walked back through the woods and out to my car. I peeled out as fast I could just wanting to get away from this place.

The turn out for the funeral was good. Old Quil was a loved man. The pastor gave a nice eulogy about him and everybody only had kind things to say about him. Quil sat in front with Sam, Jake, and Embry while I sat back with Emily. He didn't even give me one glance as he passed me. They threw the ashes out over the cliffs and performed the Quileute ceremony for raising the spirits of the dead. The whole thing was simple and calm.

I stood in the back of the church waiting for the boys to exit when Quil passed me.

"Hey Quil," I called, but he merely kept walking. He didn't even stop to look back at me. He just moved on.

Afterwards I returned went to Emily's with the rest of the pack, except Quil. We had lunch and talked about the bloodsucker that was still on the loose. Finally, I decided it was time to go home. When I pulled up I found Quil sitting outside with some boxes. I wasn't sure what was happening.

"What's going on?" I asked as I approached the front step. There were several boxes and Quil started to stack them into my car without a word.

"I think you need to go home, Claire," Quil said sighing. He almost seemed tired of me. Like he was talking to a toddler. He put the last box in and looked at me for a second before looking away.

"What are you talking about? I am home," I replied. I was confused, he couldn't actually be sending me home. He must be kidding. He did not pack up my stuff/ There's no way he'd do this to me.

"Back to your house I mean." He did mean it. He was sending me back to my house, like I was just some child that was going to go home at the end of the day.

"Quil? What? Why?" I questioned as he turned to face the door with his back towards me. "Quil, I promised your grandpa I'd look after you. I don't want to leave you!."

"Well, he's not here is he, so no big deal and I don't really care if you don't want to leave. I want you too." Quil's words cut me like a knife. He didn't want me. He wanted me to go back home. He had flat out said it.

"Quil, please…can we please just talk about this? I know that you're upset right now, but I really just-" I started, but Quil turned back around. His face was angry. He was really angry.

"I want you to go home," he yelled. He was shaking, I'd never seen him like this before. So angry. I took a step back, but I knew that he wouldn't hurt me. Old Quil had made me promise. I was going to do to this. I took a step forward. "Stop pretending like you know what this is like. You've never lost someone close to you. You don't know what I'm going through. You're life's been so damn easy-"

"Quil. Stop. Come on, let's just go inside and we can work this out," I tried, but Quil clenched his fists together and the shaking just got worse. I stopped thinking and reached out and wrapped my arms around him. Quil's hands came to rest on my arms. "Please, Quil. I want to understand. I want to help you."

"Claire, I'm telling you to leave. I don't want you here and I don't want you help, not now, not ever… Just go home," Quil said pushing me backwards towards my car. I gasped at the initial feeling when I hit the ground. He'd been rough. He'd pushed me down and I'd hit my head against the fence post behind me. He'd probably bruised my arm from the impact and my hands were a little scraped up. That was the least of my worries, I realized when he exploded. Shreds of his clothing went everywhere like confetti and before me was a huge chocolate brown wolf. If Quil hadn't lived out in the middle of nowhere, I would have been worried about people seeing, but instead I was terrified. The beast towered over me and it snarled as I stood there. I felt tears roll down my cheeks. He had actually pushed me away. Told me to leave. He'd gotten so angry at me he phased. I had never been so scared in my life as I had been right then. When the vampire had been after me I knew I'd be safe, but now, alone with Quil, an angry, scary Quil, I was petrified.

For what felt like minutes, but was probably seconds I couldn't move. I felt the tears roll down my face as I just tried to breath. Then Jake appeared. He was suddenly behind me pulling me up by my elbows. He let me fall against him and press my face to his chest as I tried to breath evenly.

"Go Quil! You need to go. You've done enough damage here," Jake yelled. The beast only snarled and bolted. I gripped onto Jake for dear life. I'd never thought of Quil as scary or a beast, but at that moment I had thought something I had never wanted to ever think. I wanted to run from him. I didn't want to be by his side or to be close to him. The thought made me cry harder. Jake just stood tall and let me cry, which lasted quite a long time before he started to take me to my car. "Let's get you home,"

He didn't understand that home wasn't at my empty place. It was Quil's house. My house was that house, the one we started to pull away from. He took me back and unpacked all my stuff. He offered to stay with me just so I'd have someone to be with, but I didn't like the idea of him having to baby sit me so I sent him home.

I wandered around my old house. It was as empty as it had ever been. I'd never felt so empty. Quil had never ever gotten so mad as to phase on me and as he had explained to me, that wasn't supposed to happen anymore. He'd been so mad, he'd defied the rules of how it was supposed to work. I hadn't imagined that being the way I first saw Quil in his wolf form. I'd barely seen him the night I'd been attacked, but now the memory of him towering over me just made me sick.

The next few weeks were like a bad re-run on repeat. I woke up, took a shower, got ready for school, went to school, left school, came home, did homework, found stuff do to until 10, then slept. Except for the occasional run to the grocery store or the random visits from pack members, that was it. Quil didn't call, didn't show up, didn't seem care. Embry stopped by a lot and actually stayed the night quite frequently. He slept in Callie's room and I could hear him snoring from across the hall. Despite how loud he was, it was extremely comforting.

Embry was one of the best parts of my day. He was the only person who made me laugh and he was good enough to keep me updated on the rest of the world. They'd been close to tracking a bloodsucker, but he kept getting away. Embry had gotten real close, but the tick had bit him and then fled

Eventually, my birthday rolled around. November had never been a good month for me it seemed. Last year Quil hadn't been with me, my two best friends had sex, then got pregnant, and I'd thrown up in an alley outside a bar. This year Quil wasn't talking to me, Lena just wanted to party, and I almost wished it had been last year.

"Get off your ass Claire. I'm taking you out to Port Angeles for your birthday and I don't give a shit if you don't want to go," Embry announced as he burst into my room. I was half asleep with drool running down my chin. I liked the idea of going out though. Lena had offered to take me to this party, but it would just be another night of getting wasted and throwing up, which I wasn't in the mood for. "We'll go out to dinner and movie, it's on me. This is a once in a lifetime offer, so you better take it."

"Oh, well can't miss that can I?" I questioned. I stood and stretched before making my way to my closet. "Hm…I guess that my sweat pants won't cut it for the night?"

"It's your 18th freaking birthday, and you'd better look nice if I'm taking you out," Embry joked as I stood looking at my wardrobe. I'd gotten dressed and done my makeup and before long we were zooming down the road. The movie was a chick flick, which Embry had thought I'd like to see, which I did. I loved these kinds of movies. Then we went out for some Chinese food. We finished and as our waiter brought the check Embry pulled out a present. It was a tub of cookie dough and a box set of NCIS. We had just gotten into the car when Embry got the call.

"We have to hurry. I hope you aren't opposed to a little speeding," Embry said flooring it as we made it out of the city limits. He was taking turns at 90 mph and didn't even bother with red lights.

"Why? What's going on?" I questioned. I prayed it wasn't Quil.

"They have the bloodsucker almost closed in and they need me. Seth and Leah are guarding Emily's house where everybody is and Collin and Brady are on some trip. Sam, Jared, Paul, and Jake need some help and uh…Quil hasn't shown yet," Embry added. Before I knew it we were sliding into Emily's house. Embry pushed me inside before he bolted out and phased.

I sat around with Emily, Rachel, and Kim as we held our breath waiting for the boys to return. I got to catch up with them. We tried to have some nice girl talk, but with our minds wondered how things were going it wasn't easy. Finally we heard a howl. Jared and Sam walked in with their heads down low, then followed Seth and Leah, then Paul, and then carrying in a tarp Jake and Embry walked in. I heard something in the tarp move and at first I thought they'd brought the thing home with them, then when it yelled out in pain I knew who it was. There was Quil, bloody, bruised and broken lying in the tarp.

* * *

**Just blow after blow. Next chapter will be out fast if you all review!**

**Please and Thank You :)**

**Love,**

**Rachel  
**


	18. Look After You

**I suck. I know, I know. Schools been crazy, planning homecoming and making sure I keep up with grades, but I really do hope to get back to writing. I love it and I love Quil and Claire. I have plans for them. I'll shut up now. I apologize for not writing.**

**SOTD: Look After You - The Fray :)**

**4...3...2...1...**

* * *

**Quil's POV**

My whole body ached. It burned like I was getting cooked from the inside out. It was so strange to me because I was a walking oven, but this burned. It made me scream as I felt people pressing on my body. I knew my hyper healing would start to kick in soon enough, but it stung like a bitch. I felt like I couldn't breathe.

I'd been feeling like shit for weeks now, that feeling wasn't new. My grandpa's death, hurting Claire, realizing that everything that had been going so well, wasn't. This pain wasn't such a great bonus. After he'd passed, I'd wondered around the forest for a long time. I couldn't look at anyone, not even Claire. No one understood, he was my only family left. My only real relative. I'd been so angry, sad, mad that he'd been taken from me. I didn't know what to do, I wasn't sure what was supposed to happen. Then when Claire showed up and acted as if she didn't think I'd go to his funeral which just made me more pissed. Of course, I'd be there. He was my granddad. I wouldn't miss it. I felt bad just brushing her off, but I didn't want to have to relive that pain. Talking to Claire would just make things worse. The funeral was simple and short, the way he would of wanted it. I went home finally and looked around my house. Claire had kept it really clean and nice looking. I was scared. I didn't even want to imagine something like this happening to Claire. So I packed up her stuff.

She couldn't get hurt like everyone else, even though I'd already hurt her. She couldn't just die on me like my parents or my grandpa. I wanted her to live and if she was going to stay alive without me then so be it. I had just finished carrying her stuff outside when she pulled up. She looked pretty, made me want to hold her, but then I saw the hurt on her face. She knew what was coming next. So I lied to her. I told her I didn't want her around, but then I started to actually get angry. She was a fighter and I knew she wasn't going to give up easily. Then I just started to let everything go. I started actually get mad, started to yell. But then I got too mad and I pushed her. I wasn't even mad at her. I was just mad, mad the world, mad at myself. She fell on the ground and hit her head. Then I just felt like a ton of bricks hit me. Not only had I pushed around the girl who was my everything, I'd made her cry, bleed. I couldn't believe myself. For those minutes I felt like I was watching some scene in a movie, not living my life. I wanted to pause and replay the whole thing differently. Jake showed up and called me off.

I spent the next couple weeks in the woods, sulking, feeling bad for myself like a prick. I didn't even feel the need for food, Emily had been throwing out full plates of left overs for me.

Time flew by and suddenly it was Claire's birthday and the next day would be mine. I didn't even want to think about how old I was getting. I still was physically like 23 or 24, but I just had a few extra years for my brain to catch up.

"I'm taking Claire out for her birthday," Embry sent to me as he crossed me in the woods. Embry made it his job to take care of Claire. I hadn't even asked, but he had. He had always been protective of her and I knew he was doing it for me too. She needed someone there and Embry was good for doing it. I had stopped by every night to watch her sleep, but I never had the guts to talk. I would just look in through the window or sneak in the back and sit in her rocking chair. I couldn't help myself. I needed to see her everyday or I felt like I was dying, but when I sat there and looked I felt like I should kill myself. She would cry sometimes, often. Embry had been staying over and he would come in and make sure she was okay. She never even saw me.

"She's been really down and it's just getting worse. I'll take her out to dinner and a movie, just let her have some fun. Sound good?"

"Yeah, it sounds real nice bro," I replied. I thought about how I should be the one taking her out, but I didn't deserve to. I was trash, worse than trash I was a dick. Even worse than that a bastard. I could have kept going, but I thought better of it. I'd hurt her, emotionally and physically. Only real fuckers pull that crap.

"Yep," Embry retorted to my thoughts. I snarled. Embry had been the first one after Jake had found me to come beat my ass. Then came Sam, then Jake, then Seth, then Paul and then Sam, again. I didn't complain or whine, I deserved it. I couldn't wash away the look on her face when I'd pushed her away.

"Take her out somewhere nice and go let her see a chick flick, as much as she says she doesn't care she likes them," I clarified. Soon Embry was gone. He was my best friend, a good guy. He would always be there for me and Claire. "There's money in my pants near Emily's go pull out some. It should cover it."

It was close to nightfall when I heard Sam's howl. The bloodsucker was close. He was passing by me and I went in for the attack. I was able to grab and latch on his arm but it was long before he took my momentum and threw me against a tree. I felt my back sting only for a second before the tick grabbed me. It was almost hugging me when I heard some of my ribs crack. Then I felt another stab as I hit another tree and then I was gone.

Now I laid on a bed at Emily's house that had been put in the living room. I could barely move and I still struggled to breath. But I could smell Claire. She was close, sitting next to my bed. Her smell of warm vanilla and cinnamon was intoxicating. I drew in another breath before turning to see her. She was dressed up with Embry's huge jacket pulled over her. She seemed to be half asleep, but her eyes popped open when I turned to her. She bit the inside of her lip and looked into my eyes with a hard look.

"Hey," I said with a weak smile. I couldn't help it. She was perfect. She wore only a small amount of makeup and her hair laid in perfect waves. Her dress was loose, but hugged her in all the right places. Even the jacket seemed to look better on her. I wished I could just hold her for a while. I didn't deserve her.

"Hey," she replied lightly. She seemed almost upset that I was awake. "How are you feeling?"

"Better now that I know you're here," I replied trying to get her to smile. It was true though, the pain I'd been feeling for the last month was lightened when I saw her.

"Well I'm glad you aren't hurting as much anymore," she said blankly. Her voice was hesitant. She was trying to be detached. "Carlisle said you had some broken ribs that hit your lungs. Broke you leg too, but he said that would heal in no time. Lucky you have those hyper healing powers or you'd be a goner."

"I wouldn't want that, especially before I got to tell you happy birthday," I tried again to get her to smile.

"It's almost four in the morning, it's your birthday now…so uh happy birthday," she mumbled. She pulled her arms up so the arms of the jacket covered her hands and then pressed them to her face. It was something she did when she was upset or uncomfortable, she always did. She looked out the window and her eyes drooped. She was tired. I imagined she probably hadn't slept yet.

"Thanks. I'm getting to old for this stuff," I said chuckling. That got her, she smiled, only for a second but she did. She immediately looked back down and went back to her silence. "How have you been?"

"Okay," she muttered. I knew that was a lie. I looked at her more carefully, her eyes were ringed with red. The dark circles started to form underneath her eyes and her body seemed compressed. "I've been better."

"Ha, so have I," I replied. I wasn't sure how to apologize. I needed to and I wanted to, but I wasn't sure what to say. I could see that I had to do it soon or else she'd fall asleep then in the morning leave. "Claire."

Her head snapped up to look at me. I smiled sadly, "I'm sorry."

"I know."

"I was angry and sad and I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to deal."

"Me either."

"I was just mad that I couldn't stop any of it from happening."

"We were all upset we couldn't do something about it," Claire stated.

"You don't understand Claire. He's my only family left. You have the perfect family," I said before I could think about it. "The worse thing that's ever happened to you is me being a dick."

"You think nothing's bad ever happened in my life? What about when my parents got divorced? Or when Lena and Andy slept together? Or when I got attacked and almost killed by a vampire? Or when I had to leave La Push? Or when my dad almost got sent to jail? Did you just forget all that stuff? I mean -"

"I get it," I replied. I hadn't thought of all those things. I hadn't thought about Claire hurting when my granddad died. I didn't even consider that she could be hurting. I had been so angry that I couldn't help him and so mad that he was gone. I'd been so focused on myself I'd almost forgotten about Claire. I didn't think that could ever be possible. I felt every emotion. Sadness for Claire, guilt for being a jerk, happiness she was even talking to me, angry that I'd been so stupid. "I tried…to push you away because I was scared."

"You…you need to go to sleep. You should get your rest," Claire said pushing me down against the mattress before hastily turning and running out of the room. I heard her blowing her nose and then walking up the stairs. I could only hope that she'd be there when I woke up. Happy freaking birthday to me.

**Claire's POV**

I couldn't deal with him right now. It was hard enough to hold back the tears looking at him, but then to hear him bring up those memories was heartbreaking. I remembered Jake carrying me back into my house and getting the blood out of my hair. How scared I'd been of Quil. Now he was so vulnerable, laying on the cot all bandaged up. I just needed sleep.

I was able to drag myself upstairs into one of Emily's guest rooms. She'd laid out sweat pants and a shirt for me. I quickly changed and curled up. My birthday hadn't been what I'd been expecting, but nothing ever was. I knew we'd have to talk about what happened sometime. I worried he didn't want me around, but I couldn't stand the thought of being at home while he was in pain here. My mind seemed to be going a million miles per minute, but sooner than I knew it I was drifting to sleep.

"Get up lazy," Embry said as he pulled off my covers and shook the bed. I shivered. I started to wonder if I needed to buy a space heater.

"What do you think you're doing?" I demanded getting my bearings. The clock read 10 AM. I jumped up to see Quil, but I quickly realized I should take a shower and brush my teeth before I saw him.

"Getting you up, I knew you'd want to get ready before Quil woke up. I'll drive you home so you can get your bags," Embry replied pulling me down the hallway. He was so thoughtful for a minute I was shocked. "Come on stop with that dumb look on your face. I'm trying to be a good big brother."

"So now you're my big brother?" I questioned standing and following him out the backdoor. I had always thought of him as one, but he'd never deemed himself as it.

"I self appointed myself," Embry beamed with pride. We peeled out of the driveway and sped back to my house. "And I don't care if you don't like it because you're stuck with family whether you like it or not."

"I think I can live, thanks so much," I said hopping out of the truck. "I'm going to get a shower and pack some of my stuff so I can stay over there. Do they know how long he's going to have to stay there?"

"Carlisle said a few days, probably the rest of the week. You planning on staying out there?" Embry questioned, almost surprised. I was a little too, but even though he'd hurt me, I loved him. I wasn't going to sit around at home.

"Duh dipshit," I laughed hopping out of the car before Embry could kill me. I tried to hurry and grab all my stuff quickly. I wanted to be there when he woke up. I dashed around the house grabbing my clothes and toiletries. I spent a good ten minutes deciding what to wear. Did jeans and a shirt look like I was trying too much? Or did sweaters and a hoodie seem too lazy? I decided I liked the lazy idea better.

Before I knew it I was sitting next to his bedside. His brow furrowed and he shivered. I didn't think he could shiver. I could see the goose bumps on his arms. I leaned over to pull the blanket over him when his arms reached and pulled me against him. I fell against his side with a plop. I gasped for a moment at how warm he really was and his smile on his face. He moved me around like a doll. He arranged me so my head was tucked neatly under his chin and against his chest. He wrapped his arms around me in what seemed to me to be an iron grip.

"Good morning," he whispered and I melted into him. His warmth, his smell intoxicated me. I closed my eyes and let out a deep breath. It was just… really nice. Really nice to be in his arms and to feel safe. It was just really, really nice.

"Good morning," I replied. He pulled me back so he could see my face. When I looked into his eyes I saw his apology. I saw his sadness.

"I am the worst imprinter ever," he started. I shook my head and buried it in his soft T-shirt. "Don't argue I know I am."

"You certainly didn't ruin half my face," I mumbled. I felt guilty saying it, but it was true. Sure it hurt, sure I was upset afterwards, but what Sam had done to Emily was a much worse fate than what had happened to me. My wounds had healed with time, but Emily's would be with her until she died.

"I still hurt you," Quil said with disgust. I didn't need him to feel guilty. I didn't want him too. I didn't care. I wanted to be happy. "I'm sorry Claire. I'll always be sorry and I swear so help me I'll throw myself under a bus if I ever get close to doing it again."

"You will never, ever do that and it's okay, I trust you." I didn't even want to talk about it anymore. "I just want to move on."

"Claire you just…I want you to know that you're safe with me. I saw your face when it happened. It makes me sick that I ever had to see that look on your face again. The vampire attack was enough, but when it was because of me. God. I just…you don't even understand how much I wish I could take it back and change everything," Quil muttered. His eyes seemed to glaze over and get distant. I knew he thought that I wasn't going to be the same with him anymore, but it was untrue. I wanted everything to be the same as it was before. I wanted to go back to being happy.

"I told you I forgave you. There's only one thing I want from you now," I said with joking authority. I broke his grasp on me to straddle his torso.

"Your wish is my command," Quil said still halfheartedly. I leaned down so I was hovering over his face.

"Kiss me," I smiled giving no choice. His lips hit mine and it was like wildfire. It was intense and longing and brilliant. He left a trail of kisses down my neck and to my collarbone. I felt like everything was burning his hands on my sides trailing my back and tangling in my hair. Our lips crashed against each other as our tongues twisted and tasted each other. We were so close. I missed _this. _I missed being together. I missed not fighting and being happy together all the time. I wanted that back.

The time came that Quil and I both pulled back. Knowingly that even if we both wanted to we couldn't have with him in his condition and especially in Emily's living room.

"I love you Claire. I love you so much, so so so much. It hurts and it scares me sometimes. What would I do if I ever lost you?" Quil questioned leaving sweet kisses all over my face. He held my face in his big hands and traced it with his thumbs. He started into my eyes and for a second it was so intense I wanted to look away, but he held my chin steady.

"You won't ever lose me. I know you wouldn't let it happen and I would never let it happen. I love you too, so much," I told him with my whole heart. I didn't know what would happen if I lost him either. I'd be lost. I wouldn't be myself. Just like in New York when I became a different person or when I'm at school and I feel like I don't belong. I just didn't ever feel right when I wasn't with Quil. I went sort of crazy when he wasn't around. My other half was missing, my better half. I guess some people would say that it wasn't normal or healthy that I felt that way, but they didn't know how lucky I was. They didn't understand that it was really being in love.

Quil got better by the end of the week and in no time I was moved back into his house. We didn't dwell on what had happened, we only moved forward. Our routine was simple. Quil got shifts patrolling and working during the day while I was at school, I'd spend maybe an hour at home alone before he came home too. We'd spend the rest of the night together. Weekends he'd work some days, but the rest of the days were devoted to whatever we wanted to do. If that was a movie, fixing and cleaning the house, spending time with the pack or whatever it was done together.

Before I knew it Christmas was only a few weeks away, Quil and I sat next on the couch looking at the fire I'd just try to make, which he ended up starting. I had been thinking of what I wanted for Christmas since Quil had been asking me every day, but I was still secretly scared to voice my wishes.

"So decided what you want for Christmas yet?" Quil asked poking at my sides. I giggled and swatted his hands away. I'd only a two things in mind, but they were not small things by any means. Sex and a ring. That were two things I would love to have.

I'd already decided I wanted a ring before I went to college and so had Quil. He'd already made it clear that college frat boys would not get it confused if I was single or not. I wasn't sure if I wanted to exactly wear it to school, but in all reality people already assumed that we were. What would it matter if I solidified the rumors. I could careless, in my mind I was already past the high school drama. Lena and I had already agreed to stop wasting our time.

As for the sex thing, Quil had promised me that we would. He never said a ring had to be involved for that to happen. It wasn't that I was just some horny teenager as it was that it was the next obvious step in our relationship. I knew with Quil I didn't have to worry that once we did it that it was be our whole relationship, but I did worry that if it didn't happen it would just keep getting prolonged. Quil was a man and I was surprised he hadn't already tried for it. I mean he'd been waiting a hell of a long time for me.

I didn't want anything else. I knew even asking for a ring would be a lot, but I'd already forced Quil to join bank accounts with me. So money was no issue, my dad paid for my credit cards and although we lived pretty modestly, or well Quil did, we didn't have to worry about paying the bills.

"I have a couple of ideas," I smiled. I didn't really want to come out and say it. I knew Quil could guess at what they were. On top of that they weren't just presents for me, but presents for the both of us.

"I think that this will be our best Christmas ever," Quil smiled kissing my forehead and turning back to the fire.

* * *

**Amen. I hope you enjoyed. I wanted to wrap up this drama and start getting lighter :)**

**I really really hope you liked it. PLEASE REVIEW :)**

**PLEASE! Reviews are what fuel motivation. I hadn't gotten back to this is a long time, but I just had a influx of 4 reviews on the same day and decided to start up again.**

**Me + Reviews = new chapters :)**

**love always,**

**Rachel(:  
**


	19. In Your Atmosphere

**So I know I just updated yesterday, but this is just a fun chapter :) I loved this since I first wrote it. I've always liked it, so I hope you did too! I've gotten a few reviews and I understand it's only been a day, but I'd love some more!**

**SOTD: In Your Atmosphere/Edge Of Desire by John Mayer**

**Hold you horses kids we're about to begin the show! **

**

* * *

**Embry had fallen for someone. He knew it wasn't him imprinting, but he loved her, Rebecca. She balanced out Embry's boisterous and childish behavior perfectly with fiery attitude and a sweet smile. She was able to put him in line faster than Sam, but doing it all with a smile. The two already lived together and it became apparent that this wasn't just a fling for either of them.

Other than our personality differences and how she could actually kiss Embry without having to stand on her tiptoes, she and I were getting close to scary by how much we looked alike. She was taller than me and a bit bustier than me too, but other than that we could have pulled off being sisters. She had large blue eyes, but the same dark hair. I was a little softer around the edges while she was a bit more pointy and angled, but our measurements were exactly the same and our tanned skins were only a shade apart. Which was probably what got me into the predicament.

"I swear Claire," Embry begged as we sat in my parked car, "If you do this for me, I'll love you forever."

I'd been kidnapped. My Friday night stolen. He'd been waiting in my car after school and had the spare key in hand. Quil was busy with something he explained and that it was crucial that I helped him. I had better things to do, like plan what I was getting Quil for Christmas, but before I could refuse he'd driven me to the mall in Olympia. 3 hours and 40 minutes away. He insisted that it wouldn't take long and Quil was busy anyway. Luckily I'd been really tired so the drive seemed shorter.

"We're just going in to buy like two presents?" I questioned. Repeating what Embry had been telling me.

"We'll just stop in a few stores and you can help me pick things out. I've never been good with shopping for girls," he explained matter-of-factly. I begrudgingly agreed and followed him into the mall. We wondered around, but never actually entered anywhere until we stopped inside the one place I didn't expect. Of course Victoria Secret would be the only place Embry wanted to stop.

I gasped, "You've had this in mind the whole time!"

Embry smiled sheepishly. He couldn't deny my accusation.

"That's why you didn't want to stop in any of those other stores! You had already picked where we were going and you were just going to make it seem like this was just a random stop! Oh hell no! HELL NO EMBRY."

I turned on my heel and was about to march away when Embry's hand caught mine in a steel gasp.

"Claire, hush please. You're going to cause a scene," Embry said like a parent chastising their child. "Listen, Becs was complaining the other night that she felt like she had no cute underwear or anything to wear. It's our three month anniversary soon and Christmas is in two weeks. I want to get her something more personal, but I want it to be a surprise. Please, please help me."

"No." I replied firmly. If there were a list of things I'd never do this would be one of them: trying on lingerie in front of my boyfriend's best friend? No.

"Claire, I swear to you I'll never ask you for anything like this again. It's just this is my first time every buying a girl something like this and I want to do it right. I'll never eat your cookie dough again either," he pleaded.

"You ate that? I blamed Paul!"

"Now come on, we drove an so long to get here. You have to help me. You can't just cry for Quil here." He was right. I was close to four hours away from anyone who could help me. Although I had some friends in college around here, they wouldn't do any good. "See what I mean? You might as well help me. You won't see anybody you know so it's not like it's even a big deal."

I sighed. I was stuck. There was no way I'd ever get to see Quil if I didn't help him out. Knowing Embry if I didn't help him he'd stick me here for the whole weekend. "You will be dead once Quil finds out."

"I don't care, it's a yes! Now come on, I've never been inside one of these," Embry said pulling my hand like a child in a candy store. He marveled at the bras and thongs on display. He had some urge to poke at all the water bras and the silky fabrics of everything.

"Hurry up. Go pick out stuff you want me to try on, so we can get out of here." I snapped with annoyance. I couldn't believe I was wasting my weekend on this. I left him to wander the store while I stood looking at a few outfits. I wondered what Quil would think of me in the different outfits, if they could really be considered outfits. Sure I had nice bras and such from numerous gift packages from Callie and my friends in New York, but I didn't make a huge effort to show him. If he noticed he'd smirk or what not and go back to business. Embry seemed so obsessed in seeing Becca in something like it. I feared Quil didn't want to sleep with me because I wasn't showing him these sorts of things.

I was lost in a trance when Embry approached with an arm load of nonexistent clothing. At least he'd taken a pair of my jean shorts to cover my lower half, which was semi-considerable. I sighed loudly so he could hear and stomped into the dressing room. I striped down and pulled on a gorgeous sheer halter top with sequins on the chest. It was soft and smooth on my stomach and for a moment I could imagine Quil's eyes bulging looking at me.

"Claireee!" Embry whined, "I'll never know what to chose if you don't show me what you look like! I'll act gay if that makes it any less awkward. I think I could do it pretty easily, I mean all I gotta do is act like a girl, but in a guys body. I can be like, 'Aww hunny now that is just no good for you, purple is not your color.'"

"Nothing will make this less awkward, Em. I'm only trying on a few, got it? I'm sure you'll be able to imagine what you like. I refuse to try on these fantasy outfits, I mean really? A little nurse outfit? Could you be anymore stereotypical?" I questioned taking a shy step out of the dressing room. Embry smiled.

"Oh man, that ones perfect for her. Yeah. Claire, I'm going to say something right now and I'm sorry if it's weird, but if Quil hadn't of imprinted you could be sure you wouldn't be single." I knew that was Embry's own way of saying I was pretty and I did appreciate it in a weird way. "Speaking of Quil, have you thought of what he'd think of these little things?"

"I mean I guess he'd like them…" I trailed off retreating to the dressing room. My phone was buzzing from a call. It was Quil I picked up right away. "Hey babe."

"Hey baby girl, I was just checking in to say I had to run an errand and I won't be back until late tonight. I hope that's okay," Quil said extremely apologetically.

"It's okay, Embry dragged me off to Olympia! To go to the mall to help him pick something out for Becs. Crazy right?' I said with a smile once again examining myself in the mirror.

"The mall in Olympia? You're at the mall? In Olympia?" Quil asked incredulously. He almost seemed worried.

"Uh yeah? He kidnapped me after school. I thought you knew," I remarked trying to change while holding the phone. I could hear Embry's impenitent tapping foot outside.

"No. I really didn't, but uh it's okay. What are you helping him get?"

"Don't freak out, but um we're at Victoria Secret. He begged me to help him pick stuff for their anniversary." I pulled on the new outfit of white satin. It made my skin glow, I knew he'd love this one too. Talking to Quil made me wish he was the one here looking with me.

"Oh, wow. Uh," Quil chuckled awkwardly.

"Don't be mad, I mean it's not a big deal or anything. What are you up to anyway?" I asked trying to switch the subject. I worried he was mad and didn't want to say it. Maybe he didn't like that Embry was seeing me in this stuff and he wasn't. Then I felt bad that I hadn't ever asked him to help me try on things or go shopping with me. I didn't ever think he'd like that sort of thing.

"Just getting some stuff I needed, but hey I'll see you soon okay?" he asked with a little laugh in his voice. I worried he was sneaking around, but I knew he wouldn't do such a thing.

"Ha, if you consider another five hours soon, but yeah. I'll see ya. Love you," I replied.

"Love you too." with that I clicked off the phone and stepped out to show Embry. He nodded approvingly and smiled.

"I knew I choose right asking you to come with me."

"Whatever," I laughed and walked back in to change. I tried on a few more and Embry had decided his limit was four and that a nice sleeping slip would be nice. The last one I tried on I knew I had to get. It was perfect. It was a red satin top, not a blood red, but a deep rosy red. It was trimmed with black lace and was low cut in the back. It was the most gorgeous piece of underwear I'd ever tried on. I'd decided to even try on the bottoms with it. When I stepped out Embry stood up to get a closer look. He took a step back and spun me, but soon a fist came out to knock him right in the nose. I turned in horror to find out who had just decked Embry when I saw Quil's jaw tight and eyes locked with Embry's.

"Aw what the hell man? I think you broke my nose again," Embry said, with a sick crackle he placed his nose back in it's place. Quil raised his eyebrows questioningly. Embry smiled with a devilish smirk. He shrugged his shoulders a little and nodded his head towards me. It seemed Quil had hardly noticed me in all the commotion. He stood gaping at me for a second. "I'm going to go get those in Becs size."

Embry bolted off without a second thought. Quil emitted a noise that almost sounded like a growl, but it wasn't scary…it was almost sexy. He pulled his arm around me and pulled me back into the dressing room. For a moment I believed he was going to take me right then and there, but I knew he wouldn't do that, no matter how much he liked my little outfit. He had me pinned against the wall his arms on either side of me. His lips skimmed my neck leaving light kisses everywhere while one had traced the smooth fabric and the other stayed on my hip. I was tired on this teasing and I finally kissed him. Hard. He groaned pressing against me.

"Do you like it?" I asked innocently. I couldn't help the small smile that spread across my face. When Quil groaned against it turned into a smirk. I'd never felt so sexy in his presence before. He was always the one I saw as the hot, steamy character. But now I had the power.

"God Claire, you have no idea what you do to me. Do you have any idea of how much I want you?" Quil asked huskily. His voice so soft and rough just turned me on.

"Show me," I commanded. I liked this game. I liked having the power and did he show me. His mouth ravaged all over my body kissing through the fabric, lighting me on fire with every touch. I pulled his mouth back up to meet mine and I thought we were going to explode. This passion, the want, the yearning was becoming unbearable. We both wanted it and I knew that neither of us wanted to wait any longer.

Before long we both pulled back, very well knowing what would have happened if we hadn't been in a public place. When we walked out we received looks from everyone near us. Neither of us cared much as we went to buy a few of our own outfits. Embry had gone to the food court and was devouring a pizza when we grabbed our dinner.

"So what errands were you doing here anyway?" I couldn't help but as we stood in line. He'd never explained how he'd gotten there.

"Just some Christmas shopping, you know, picking up gifts for people," Quil replied trying to avoid the question. He'd already stuffed whatever he'd gotten into my big bag from Victoria's Secret and he was holding on tight to it like a life raft.

"So why didn't you invite me? Embry did," I asked curiously. I knew he was shopping for me and he didn't want to admit it.

"Unlike Embry I know how to shop."

"Oh Embry does too, he tried to act gay to make things less awkward for me," I said with a giggle. We sat down with our food as Embry finished up his.

"I'll see you guys, I'm going to go get these wrapped," he waved and soon was distant in the crowd of people. We finished our dinner quickly and got on the road so we wouldn't be driving too late. Quil offered to drive and let me sleep, but I could hardly sleep with my curiosity burning I was dying to know what was inside the bag. Finally when Quil pulled over to get gas he had left the bag at my feet. While trying not to move too much I nudged the bag with my foot. There was definitely a silver bag and a navy velvet box inside of it. A square navy box. There were very few things that could be contained in such a small box and I personally couldn't wait to open it.

* * *

**So I believe John Mayer is the perfect for being sweet and sexy. The way I think Quil is :)**

**I really do hope you enjoyed and if you've read it before I hope it was as good if not better!**

**please review, I'm liking this whole writing thing again and the more feedback I get the more I like it!**

**so please, please, please, please, review.**

**love always, **

**rachel  
**


	20. Smother Me

**so little reviews :( such little writing. **

**SOTD: Smother Me - The Used, if you haven't heard this song. YOU MUST LOOK IT UP! It is the most amazing song ever. Seriously, it's beautiful.**

**warning to anyone who really cares, there's things at the end that aren't overly descriptive.  
**

**

* * *

**"Winter break is the best," Quil said, as I ran out of school and to his car. He picked me up and kissed me. He was so warm it was contrast to the think layer of snow that had formed in La Push. Winter had hit La Push, hard. The cold was getting close to unbearable, this time of year I was especially happy to have my personal space heater. School break had started early because of the intense snow storm that had frozen some of the wires at school that worked the heat. We had another week and before Christmas began, but considering no one even the principal wanted to endure the weather he called it quits.

"What are you talking about? You don't even go to school," I replied confused as we climbed into the Beast. I rubbed my hands together trying to get warm when Quil took my hand in his. We pulled out of the parking lot quickly starting out on the now treacherous road.

"It means I get you all to myself for the next two and a half weeks. Minus the crazy pack parties and if you finally decide you get sick of me." Quil a sexy smirk. I shivered at the thought of what could happen in those two weeks. Just the thought of it made me weak at the knees.

"I'm already sick of you," I pointed out jokingly. As soon as the words left my mouth, we pulled off to the side of the road and Quil was pressed against me. He murmured against my sink how he'd missed me. Then his hands grabbed at my sides tickling me. I started laughing so hard I thought I was going to pee. I was crying at this point trying to thrash underneath him. Soon he was just laughing along with me, I was able to force myself up so I was on top of him. I tried finding his ticklish spot all over, but he never laughed, just smirked.

"Try all you want. I'm not ticklish, never have been. But if you're just doing this to try to feel my muscles you could have just asked," he said chuckling, tucking his hands behind his head completely laid back. I blushed, but laughed also. I decided to lay down on top of him rest my head on his chest. His hands wound into my hair automatically and his arms wrapped around me. "Something wrong, baby girl?"

"Not really. I just, I love just us time, like this," I murmured staring into space. I snuggled closer against him, getting comfortable. He kissed my hair and I felt his warm breath against my head. I could feel his steady heartbeat under my head. It was sure and strong, like him. I did love these times, when I didn't feel like we were pressured to do anything and that we could just have us time. We didn't worry about anything else other than the two of us.

"I do too. I love it. You sound worried, are you sure there's nothing wrong?" Quil asked softly. He was so sweet always being concerned. No matter what was going on if I wasn't happy he'd change that in an instant.

"I'm just going to miss this a lot when I go away to college. I'll be away from you and with thousands of new people. I guess I'm just scared I'll lose myself like I did in New York," I stated, Quil's grip tightened immediately. "I don't mean that I'll find someone else. It's just, I go a little crazy when you're not around. It's hard for me to deal without you."

"It's only 4 hours away and I'll be up there every weekend I'm not working. You can come home on long weekends and then it'll be like were never apart. I'll never let you feel lost Claire," Quil squeezed me hard. I loved the pressure of his body against mine. It was almost sinful how great it was. His whole body radiated warmth and surrounded me. "I know it's hard, but we can do it. Think about how crazy I'll be going here while your off having college boys drool over you. We won't have any problems. I love you, you love me. We'll be just fine."

"Promise?" I didn't want to doubt him, but I couldn't help it.

"I swear on my life. When you go to college it'll be just like we are now. We'll just have to cherish the time we have together a lot more," Quil said straightening us up. So we were at least vertical and I was seated on his lap. I kissed him softly, just letting my lips rest against his. I spread my fingers across his neck and felt his pulse gently moving. I smiled and actually kissed him. "As much as I enjoy this time I think we better get going. Imagine what the people who've passed us think!"

"Oh, as if you've ever cared what people think," I said untangling myself and getting back into my seat. We started back on our way to Emily's.

"Nope, because they're going to believe I'm some huge hoodlum who never did well in school and just causes hell because of my freakish size." I couldn't help, but busting out laughing. The seriousness on his face was priceless, but I was rolling laughing. "Har, har, Claire. It's true,"

"I know, I know," I said still giggling. His placed his big hand over my mouth trying to silence me while I continued to laugh.

**Quil's POV**

I didn't think Claire realized how much even the littlest smile did to me. I felt proud, proud that I had put that smile there. I wanted everyone to see that I'd made her smile, me. Me the hoodlum, me the family-less kid, me the one in the gang. I wanted everyone to see that I made the best girl in the whole wide world smile. She should be treated like a princess and I was just the jester. Oh, Lord when I was able to make her sigh or moan, my brain exploded. I had gotten those noises out of the sweetest, sexiest, most perfect girl ever. That's why I needed to marry her.

I'd asked Marley if she was okay with it, of course she said okay and after a long talk with William, he also agreed. I'd gone while Claire was at school to go look at rings from Jared's, that was the only place I knew of because they always have those damn commercials. I'd asked Callie and Marley to help me pick out which one she'd like. They'd immediately sent me to a Tiffany's website and when I looked at the prices my heart died a little. They were beautiful and I knew Claire would love to wear one and she deserved one so much, but paying for one of those would be so costly. I knew that Claire and I had fused our bank funds, but still a ring was something I should buy out of my cold hard money. Not something that I have to dip into our account to pay for. I didn't think Claire would be that picky about it whether it be Tiffany's or Jared's. I went to the mall, but then Claire showed up shopping with Embry. I was a little worried she'd find out what I'd gotten and freak out, but I lost all thought when I saw her in the store. God, she was sexy. I couldn't of constructed her better. I'd been blessed.

I needed to think of ideas of a way to propose, but there was something else that I'd promised Claire that I wanted just as much. Sex. Call me a pig, but I'd waited a long time and I do mean a long time to wait for Claire to be ready. I was debating on which should come first. I wasn't sure, so when in doubt, call Callie. Claire was out Christmas shopping with Emily getting her last few things. We'd planned on decorating the rest of the house tonight, so I didn't know how much time I had before she returned.

"Hullo?" Callie questioned as she answered the phone. "If you're trying to drag me home again, it's still a no."

She wasn't coming home for Christmas because her new boyfriend had invited her to meet his family in the wine country of California. Marley was busy on a project in Texas, but sent her best wishes. William was having Christmas with his family in Manhattan and had invited us to come, but Claire didn't want to disturb them. So as usual it was Claire and I. I knew that made Claire a little sad, but I was determined to make it up for her. I'd tried to convinced them to come home to see Claire, but both claimed they were so busy. I knew Callie had important things to do of her own, but Marley had been away from a few months now. Claire had always been independent, but I knew she missed her and Claire's dad had visited only a few weeks ago.

"Hey Cals, this time I need your help," I responded dragging out boxes of decorations. Claire had brought a lot from her house and I had a few my granddad had left me. We had our real tree already set up, Claire had insisted upon it. Every year the Youngs had gone out and chopped their own tree and she said it wouldn't be Christmas without it.

"I thought you already got the ring?" Callie asked, her voice filled with doubt.

"Yeah I did, but uh…I sort of have an awkward question for you," I fumbled over my words. I wasn't quite sure how to phrase this to Callie. Nothing was ever awkward for her because she was so straightforward and outgoing, but I wasn't used to talking about this with people. Especially people who Claire was related to.

"To fuck first or propose first?" Callie stated point blank. Her bluntness astounded me. She was probably out in public too, talking loudly and getting stared at by people walking by.

"Uh, yeah. I wouldn't say fuck. That's not what it is," I said, because it wasn't. I didn't want to do that to Claire. I wanted to make love to her. I wanted to totally give ourselves to each other. Our first time shouldn't be like that. Maybe later, but no. This had to be perfect.

"Whatever, make love, fuck. Potato, potahto. Either way you spin it you're doing the dirty. Don't be a dick Quil. Ask her to marry you first, then it'll be all romantic and meaningful. I wish my first time had been like that…" Callie trailed off into her own dream world. She was right, that was the right way to do it. "Anyway, but yeah definitely to that first, then get down to business. Claire will probably be tired afterwards so best to do it before she falls asleep."

"Yeah, thanks. So one more question and I'll let you be," I replied. "I'm trying to think of the best way to do it, but I'm coming up with a blank. I don't want it to be cheesy or anything, but just something she'll love."

"Okay, so I know exactly what you need to do."

**Claire's POV**

We planned to trade gifts on Christmas Eve so the next morning we could sleep in and then head to Emily's for the Christmas festivities. I'd gotten Quil and new tool box because his had been losing parts for a long time and a brand new acoustic guitar that he'd been drooling at for as long as I could remember. I'd filled up his stocking with foods and snacks he loved and things we both liked. I'd wrapped them up and hidden them in places I sometimes even had trouble remembering.

"Alright get dressed warmly, but not to warm. Cause you'll be sitting next to me," Quil announced. It was finally Christmas Eve and I realized I was more excited for this Christmas than I ever had been in my life. Quil had informed me tonight he was taking me out for a surprise and I couldn't help but let my imagination run wild.

"If I was right next to you all the time, I wouldn't need to wear clothes." I pointed out jokingly. Quil did his signature smirk.

"That's not a bad idea," Quil said grabbing me. He held me tightly with my front away from him. I wiggled my hips to elicit a moan from him. I smiled and gave him a quick peck before speeding to change. When I emerged Quil was standing in the door way with a blanket and my knit hat. He only donned jeans and a light pull over with a hat just because I'd bought it for him. I was covered in jeans over legging with two shirts, a jacket and boots. The weather seemed to be subzero to everyone, while it only seemed like a draft to Quil.

We embarked and Quil made me put on a stupid blindfold. I felt like we were driving forever. I felt him pull of the road and then we were at a McDonald's. Quil ordered three orders of large fries, two Big Macs, and a salad, presuming for me. When finally we stopped and he pulled off my blindfold, we were in Forks. Just barely in the town, we were in a parking lot that had had sleigh rides with horse drawn carriages. It was amazing, they had wrapped lights around the trees and were selling hot chocolate. They even had a fake Santa holding kids, admittedly most of the children were crying, but never the less it seemed to be perfect.

"Oh my gosh," I breathed as our sleigh took off. Quil spread the blankets over our legs. He turned us sideways so we could stretch out. His hands fiddled with my hair and I close my eyes and breathed in the woodsy smell mixed with Quil's natural scent.

"I thought you'd like it," Quil mused as he spun my hair's wavy curls around his finger. "my granddad used to bring me up here and we'd get hot chocolate and like seven orders of fries because I would eat them through the ride. For us though I guess we only need three."

"You mean for yourself," I poked at his taut abs. The lights on the trees were beautiful and fun, but you were still able to see the stars. Quil smiled, but then his face became more serious.

"Claire, is this what you want for the rest of your life?"

"To be sitting in the cold while it snows with my hot, amazing boyfriend in the middle of the woods with Christmas elves of the side lines? No, not exactly, but I guess I can deal if that's the way it's going to be," I replied jokingly.

"Claire I'm being serious here," Quil replied. I twisted so I could look at his face. I hoped this wasn't because of what I had said that day in the car. I didn't mean to scare him with the idea of me going away. I didn't want that at all.

"If it means being with you I don't care what were doing," I said searching in his eyes. I felt like there was a little bit of saddest in his question. He wouldn't look right at me. I reached up and cupped his cheek and watched as he leaned into it. His warm body left me perfectly content on this snowy evening. He smiled as he looked down at me.

"I just don't ever want you to miss out, even if that means you wouldn't be with me," Quil stated. He was in deep thought and it worried me that he would change whatever plans were arranged for tonight.

"I don't care if I miss out. I want to be with you and only you," I stated pouting, that got him. He leaned down to rest his lips on my forehead. He whispered words against my skin that I couldn't understand, but he sealed them with a real kiss. We were ending our sleigh ride and we'd finished our dinner. I started to run to the car when Quil smiled at me.

"Please go sit on Santa's lap so I can get a picture of it?" Quil begged dragging me over to the fat man in the itchy suit.

"Noooo!" I cried as he continued to pull me backwards. I started kicking and trashing trying to get him to let go, but it didn't work. Soon it was becoming a full fledged scene. He finally just picked me up and carried me over to the guy, setting me down on his lap.

"Well missy, I've seen toddlers cry and even youngsters, but never someone as old as you," the old man chuckled. His beard was real and long, oh and disgusting. He did sort of look like a real Santa, just the suit was a nasty rough fabric. He smiled a warm smile that reminded me of a grandpa.

"This is Claire," Quil said smiling, he was loving every minute of this. I couldn't believe he was actually making me do this. I shook my head in disapproval and embarrassment as children stood in line waiting on me to get off this man's lap.

"Oh! Claire! Why I've heard you've been on the good list this year!" Santa chuckled against, his stomach did shake like jelly. I was starting to wonder if I'd really found Santa when he pulled out a huge box from behind his chair marked : _To Claire _

I took it smiling confused, but he nodded as in to get me to open it. I opened the box peeling off the red ribbon and pulling off the lid. I pulled off the gold wrappings trying to not rip them and inside was a smaller box, but books lined it. I pulled out the next box and started to pull in open and found CD's surrounding another smaller box. Some of my favorite bands new albums and old one's that were missing. I continued in a frenzy to get to the last box, but for at least another four boxes there was just another box. They were all surrounded by things I had wanted recently, more lingerie, Starbucks packages, lotion, and candy. Notably the Santa blushed when I dropped the box with lingerie in it. Finally I got down to the smallest box, that was the size of a ring box. I held my breath as I opened it. There was nothing inside it.

I couldn't hide my disappointment. I started to lower myself to the ground when the Santa pointed towards my feet. I hadn't realized it, but next to me on his knee was Quil. He was holding a gleaming ring. It was beautiful, but didn't compare to his smile.

"Claire Elise Young, I love you. I have always and I will always love you. I want the whole world to know you're mine, so let me be the one to call you my wife and marry me?" Quil asked beaming. I felt tears start to well up. I hated being so freaking emotional.

"Absolutely." I nodded, I felt like this was a stupid movie scene, but it was better because it was real. I couldn't hardly speak as Quil rose and slid the ring on my finger. He kissed it gently and then kissed me. I smiled euphorically, as did Quil. I couldn't of asked for a better present. The Santa and workers congratulated us as Quil whisked us into the car.

By the time we returned it was midnight. I was almost shaking out of anticipation of what could happen next. We walked into the house, our heads dusted with the falling snow and I gasped at what awaited us in the living room.

Usually a couch, our TV, two chairs and a coffee table occupied our space, but now was our bed facing the fireplace and the tree. The fire was already roaring, soft guitar played and there were roses on the bed. Vanilla candles were lit all around the room, I literally thought I was going to cry. I pulled off my layers until I was down to my shirt and jeans. We didn't speak as I rushed to grab his presents. Quil ushered me on to the bed and sat down facing away from me.

"Open this one first, then the better present will be second," I smiled pushing his gifts toward him. Quil like a child began tearing away at the paper as I giggled. He smiled at the toolbox and then reached for the box. He slowly tore away at this paper, seeming as though through the weight he could tell what it was. He burst into the biggest smile when he saw what it was.

"Claire, you shouldn't have gotten me this," he stated. I knew he didn't mean it though. He instantly opened it up to play. He strummed soft cords and I beamed. I was exuberant that he loved his guitar. It was all black with a simple silver lining. He seemed lost for a minute playing a familiar John Mayer song. He broke out of his reverie quickly.

He got up and kissed me feverishly. It was perfect. Of course it was sappy and romantic and I was loving every minute of it. I didn't let Quil's lips leave mine as I undid his button down and he undid my jeans. His hands roamed my legs and traced our latest purchase. His jeans were the next thing to go and then my shirt too disappeared. The places his hands touched left a burning sensation on my skin. Soon clothes were scattered on the floor and the room. The kisses became more heated and the yearning was unbearable. Feel him against me and his smooth skin brushing mine was delicious.

"Are you sure?" Quil asked pulling away from me only centimeters. I smiled and kissed him back. Luckily I'd gone on birth control a few months ago after the camping incident so everything was set. The pain I knew I felt initial hurt so much, as much as I wanted to be strong a few stray tears leaked out. Quil waited for it to subside and kissed my face gently. Soon he was in motion, we were completely together. Experiencing something that I doubted many people knew, but it was real love. Not just sex, but we made love. I couldn't dream of ever being with anyone else and I never wanted to be. I never felt closer to him than in those moments. I thought sliding on that ring was right, nothing felt more right than when we were one. We were in complete sync and unison, there was no awkwardness or tension. His name poured out of my mouth and it seemed to be the only thing I could say. One of his hands gripped my hip and the other came to hold my neck, pushing me against his mouth as it mimicked our bodies. Quil's warmth, the fire, and the friction made me feel like I was going to explode. He moaned my name like a chant over and over again. I couldn't help, but yell his name as I was hit with the pleasure. As I did so did he. He held me close as we rode out the sensation.

"Merry Christmas Claire," Quil murmured.

* * *

**:) too cheesy? I thought it was a little, but I like cheese.**

**I know I've gotten requests to do a full lemon, but I really didn't want to do it. I hope you enjoyed it, I tried to write about it without being overly descriptive for those who don't feel comfortable reading such things.**

**please review. pleaase, seriously. I write because of what you guys write and when you don't write I dont. **

**love always,**

**a tired rachel.  
**


	21. Wake Me Up

**Oh hii.. Just stopping in... How have your last two years been…? Lol, okay so I suck. I don't even know why I stopped writing this. I love Quil. He's so fantastic. So I guess, read this and I hope you aren't like crazy pissed? I don't even think most of you read Twilight stuff anymore since that craze is kind of died down, but I can hope!**

**If you are still there and reading this. I hope you enjoy it!**

**SOTD: Wake Me Up - Ed Sheeran**

* * *

Most people say waking up in the morning is the worst because you have to face reality. To me, waking, is one of the best parts of my day.

"Good morning," Quil murmured before seizing my lips so I couldn't speak. The kiss brought back the wonderful memories of last night. It seemed like a dream. I almost couldn't believe it happened. I excepted to be embarrassed by waking up still naked next to him, but instead I felt safe. Quil was the only guy I knew that would make me feel comfortable through that usually traumatic experience. I'm not saying it was perfect, but it was as close to it as I expected for my first time. I was broken out of my reverie when Quil slid his warm hands down my sides to rest on my hips, making my shiver. "How are you feeling?"

"Just fine, great actually. Why?" I asked smiling. I was euphoric. I felt like now that we'd past that mile stone, we were closer than ever. In those moments when he was looking at me and we were connected, we were truly one person. I couldn't believe how comfortable I felt now. I was overjoyed that it had gone so well. I looked into Quil's eyes though and I didn't see that same happiness.

"I just didn't know if it was what you expected, all that it was supposed to be." He was hesitant, worried almost. He was waiting for my confirmation. "I wanted it to be perfect for you."

"It was perfect Quil. I couldn't have asked for anything better. Thank you," I smiled sincerely and kissed his nose. Then his warm eyes glowed. Vulnerability wasn't an emotion that I usually saw on Quil's face. It made him feel more real, sometimes he never seemed human. He was just too good and strong to be real. But he proved his realness again as he kissed me. "Now, lazy. Get up we have a Christmas party to get to!"

I sat up and started to hop out of bed. The sheet slipped away from my skin and settled at my waist. I suddenly realized how cold it was being away from Quil, which made me momentarily forget that I was completely naked. I felt the urge to cover myself up, but as I brought my hand up to my chest, Quil's warm fingers pulled me back. "Come back here. I just wanna kiss you for a while longer."

I smiled as he kissed me. I laughed a little before taking a nip at his lip. He jumped back with surprise. His face was shocked for a moment before he smirked, making my knees go weak. I bit my own lip gently and backed up slowly, wondering if he was going to pounce.

"That was kind of hot. Come back here. So I can get you back." He growled, sitting up more. His broad chest came into view, distracting me from my goal.

"If you wanna kiss me, you have to get up and take a shower!"

I giggled and ran into our bathroom, letting the warm water start to trickle. It wasn't even ten seconds after I'd stepped in when Quil joined me. Then I learned the second time was always better, but Quil promised that third time around was the charm.

* * *

"Claire, you're really going to marry this bag of fleas?" Embry questioned after we announced our engagement to the pack. Quil smacked in the back of the head, but smiled. Brothers 'till the end. I already knew how overjoyed Embry would be to hear he was the best man.

"I guess so, I was always a cat person, but I can make an exception for him. Soul mates and all," I giggled, Quil grabbed me at my waist pulling back into my comfort zone. I settled into his lap and let my arms cover his. I laid my head against his chest basking in the glow of everything. It was perfect, I couldn't have written it better myself.

"Well congratulations guys," Sam smiled giving me a kiss on the cheek. It was important to me to have Sam's blessing and that was it. He had been such a father figure to me and someone who had always supported me. He was about to say more when Emily started to set out the food - then all concentration was thrown out the window. Even I was set out of Quil's arms as he rushed to grab a plate, I just shook my head, laughing at my friends who were more like my family than my real one.

* * *

Life was good, everything was good. My senior year was a breeze and was almost over. It had been so simple, it gave me plenty of time to focus on my fiancé. I was happy, really happy for the first time ever. I had completely moved in with Quil and my other house went on the market. My family was all still in tact and getting along relatively well. Our wedding was only months away and the plans were going smoothly. Quil and I had picked the date for that next summer at Christmas. So I'd be out of school and we'd have time to spend together before college. The time had flown and the day was almost here. The planning was driving me a bit crazy, but it was going to be worth it to see my handsome groom at the end of the isle.

"What do you mean you haven't found a dress yet?" Lena barked at me, almost killing me as she slams on the breaks. We had been out running errands around to finalize times and payments when Lena had asked why she hadn't seen a picture of my dress yet.

"I just...haven't found it yet. Chill." I said exasperated. If it wasn't Quil, my mom, Callie, Emily, Jake or Embry, of course, it had to be Lena jumping on me about it. I'd tried on some, but I just hadn't fallen in love with one yet. They all were nice, they looked just fine, but I just hadn't found it yet. I hadn't found the one that I saw myself wearing down the isle in, or the one that Quil would see and it'd take his breath away, or the one that he would be unzipping later that night. It had to be perfect, it was the one thing that I wanted to love more than anything else.

All the other plans were set. It was going to be the wedding of our dreams. The one both Quil and I had always talked about. Simple, but elegant. Small, but with all our loved ones. Of course, it was going to be at the beach. We'd set the date for seven so the sun could be setting. Callie, Lena and I had spent hours picking out everything. From the wooden chairs, to the terrace that would sit at the end of the isle, the tent for the reception, and the food too. That was Quil's favorite part, tasting all the cakes and foods. I hoped the dress search wasn't as hard as that had been, but it seemed to be much harder already.

"Oh I like this one." Quil said, mouth still full of the last bit I'd fed him. The tray of squares sat in front of us and he'd worked his way through almost every single one. Unfortunately, he hadn't found one he didn't like yet. I wasn't going to pick, the food was going to be his thing. When I'd asked what he wanted to do and what he didn't want to do, he said that he was only good at eating, so naturally he'd pick the menu. Too bad he didn't have a clue about calling a cake place or a catering service or about how much food we needed. Especially since it was his pack that was eating the most, meaning we had to order 80 people's worth of food despite having 40 or so guests.

"Quillll," I groaned. We we're going to end up with fifteen cakes by the looks of it. There were too many choices, I knew I should have brought the small sampler. "There has to be one flavor you like more than all the rest."

He smiled devilishly, "Oh, there is."

"Okay fine. Which is it?" I question hesitantly. I was praying it wasn't the lime coconut cake. I promised not to choose, but if that was it one then I wouldn't end up eating any of my own wedding cake. Despite the fact that bottomless Quil liked it, I was sure that it was not the shop's most popular choice.

"You," he replied smiling as he kissed me. I giggled, leaning back in to match his kiss. I let my tongue trace his lips, the taste of the cakes all over him. His mouth opened letting me trace his tongue, before he groaned taking back the dominance in our duel.

I pulled back before we got too carried away or else I'd never get a decision out of him, "Okay seriously you have to pick your top three."

"You, seriously." He leaned in kissing my neck before taking a lick, "This flavor."

I giggled again trying to push him back, but he continued his pursuit. His hot breath crawled up my skin to right behind my ear, making me squirm. "This one."

He came back to my lips, whispering against them, "and this one too."

I shook my head, "So you're going to serve my body, dead or alive? Or are you willing to let everyone take a lick? I'm sure all our male guests would love that."

Quil's face froze. I knew I got him that time. If there was one thing he hated, it was the idea of other people touching me. Especially guys. Any guys, even the other pack members. His eyes were hard and his hands balled into fist on my back. "No. There will be no one licking you other than me."

"You're the one who suggested it!" I laughed, taking a bite of chocolate cake left. It was heavenly. I didn't even like chocolate and it tasted great. I pressed the rest of my bite to his closed lips. Finally after a moment of defiance, he took the bait. "So what is it then? Me or the cakes?"

"I think I want the chocolate devil's food with hazelnut, vanilla butter cake with almond, and the red velvet." Quil said defeatedly. His little game hadn't worked out as he planned, I laughed a little to myself. He thought he was so clever and sexy and smart. Which he was. But I won this time.

"Thank you," I smiled warmly. Happy we'd finally made that decision. Not that there weren't two hundred others to be made. "Now we only have to pick the rest of the menu..."

I was dragged back to my current state as Lena pulled a U - turn. "You are not leaving here without a dress. No if, ands, or butts!"

"Lena. I've looked a lot of places already. Can't we just head back to La Push? Quil's off tonight and we were going to hang out." I didn't want to look anymore. I'd been so unsatisfied every time I left. I felt like I'd never find the dress.

"You have the rest of your life to spend with Quil! You need to find a dress Claire! You're wedding is very seriously two months away. I can't believe you'd let this be the one thing you don't get done." I sighed. As if I didn't know that, but I held my tongue. I realized this could be a couple hours so I had to shoot Quil a text saying I wouldn't be home until much later.

* * *

I'd finally managed to pull Lena away from the mall and back to the car, telling her this was all futile. She gave in and began to drive us back to La Push. As we rounded the corner to turn out of Seattle, Lena spotted one more store. We'd only looked a department stores and higher end places, this small hole in the wall didn't look promising. I sighed again, letting her lead me into what must have been the tenth shop of the day. It was a typical dress store. A room filled with white everywhere, all shapes and sizes and styles. They were all similar to the ones I'd seen everywhere else. Nothing new really.

"Oh come one." Lena rolled her eyes at my obviously unenthusiastic face. Her hands gripped my cheek, shaking the skin there. "You'll never find anything with that attitude."

I forced a smile. I wanted nothing more than to be home with Quil, but I knew I would never get out of here if I didn't look. I walked through the racks and let my fingers slide across the silky fabrics. White dress after white dress. Princess gowns, mermaid tales, bubble skirts. There were all sorts of dresses, but nothing caught my eye.

"Can I help you?" the women behind the counter asked. Her smile was warm, making me smile back. "You look like you've seen enough of these for the rest of your life."

"Sorry, it's that obvious. I've been looking for months now." I glanced back at the white dresses I'd come to hate so much. Lena continued around the store, picking something up every once and a while.

"When I got married, I didn't choose a dress until a week before." The women laughed, seemingly taken back to her memories. She blinked before looking back at me. "It was hell. I know the feeling. So tell me about what's happened? Why haven't you found it yet?"

"I don't know. If it isn't the right style, they don't have it in my size. If it has too much frill, it can't be taken off. If the price is right, the store doesn't have anything similar. I just feel like the perfect dress doesn't even exist." I slumped down into the chair next to the register. I never had felt like a bridezilla until now. I was close to the verge of tears. I wanted this to be perfect. So perfect for Quil and I. He was so perfect. I just wanted everything to be right.

"Oh dear, well. Let me help you then. Tell me what you're looking for and I'll pull a few things." I rambled off a few things off about a beach wedding and a flowing dress. Something simple, but beautiful and elegant. Nice material, but nothing that would put us in bankruptcy. A few things about Quil and I and in an instant she was off. She pushed through the racks and began digging through the plethora of dresses.

"What about this?" She held out long piece of fabric. It was beautiful. The picture in my mind finally matched what was in front of me.

"Lenny, what about this one?" Lena poked her head out from behind a rack. She smiled widely at the dress.

"I told you we'd find it!"

**Quil's POV**

"Claire? Honey, are you home?" I poked my head around the corner, hearing a rustling in our room. As I spotted Claire, the door slammed shut barely missing my nose. "Hey! What's up?"

"I have something to show you, but you can't see it until I'm ready!" Claire called out from our room. "I'll be out in just a second."

I laughed and settled myself on the floor waiting for the show. This had become routine when Claire would buy new clothes. Shirts, jeans, sweaters, lingerie. The latter being my favorite, of course. "What'd ya buy me?"

The door creaked open slowly. There before me was the single most breathing taking sight I'd experience. Claire stood in her dress, smiling at me cautiously. She was beautiful, more beautiful than she'd ever know. The white dress accentuated her every curve. The fabric hung tightly around her chest, with beading around the top that made her sparkle as she turned. The dress flowed out at the bottom and just lightly met the ground. I was stunned to say the least.

Seeing her in the dress, woke me up. This was all real. Everything I'd been waiting for. All the years that I'd spent with her and all patience I had. It had paid off. The girl I'd always dreamed of and wanted was actually here. Standing in a wedding dress. A dress she planned on marrying me in. This girl was perfect; in every way, shape, and form. She was far too good for me and had too many better things she could have been doing with her life. But somehow, she was in front of me.

"So...do you like it?" Claire questioned, looking down at me. She smiled at my silence, taking it as a good thing. She knew me all too well. I stood, hoping I still had functioning legs. Her hands took mine as I faced her.

"It's perfect. You are so beautiful, Claire." I pulled her tightly into my embrace. I gave her a tight squeeze. I rested my lips against her forehead, applying the slightest pressure.

"I can't believe we're finally going to do this." She smiled, pulling away. I laid in our bed and watched as she changed into her pajamas. She jumped into the bed and curled her body against mine. Something so natural now, I didn't know what it was like to go to sleep with out her head on my chest. Her eyelashes bushed against my skin and her ear laid against my heart. I was the luckiest man alive.

"I cannot wait to marry you Claire Elise."

* * *

**Okay, well I hope you liked it! It's 3:15 AM and I just kind of sat down and wrote. SO it may have sucked, sorry if it did, but don't leave hate. That's not cool.**

**I think I have two more chapters in mind to wrap this up, maybe three more? Then I will be done! Please review though. So I know some people still care about this. I came back to this because I got some really sweet messages about how you guys wanted me to finish this, but there's not a point if no one does actually want to read it lol. So here it is!**

**Love,**

**Rachel. **


End file.
